MLB Introduces “Least Valuable Player” Award, Will Give Winner 2019 Ford Expedition EL
Baltimore, Maryland – Move over, Mookie Betts… MLB is now looking to award baseball’s ‘Least Valuable Player.’ The league recently announced that they awarded...
Local Writer Found Dead: The Lemon Investigates
The Lemon respectfully requests that our loyal readers join us in a moment of quiet reflection in memory of celebrated staff writer Jason Cook,...
Zaxx Raptor: Inside the Mind of a Genius
As of late, industry headlines seem to indicate that Ford is committed to the proposition of reinventing themselves as a truly innovative automaker. From...
Worst Name Ideas for ‘Baby Bronco’
While it's inevitable that some poor schmuck with inarguably weak judgment is shopping for used Ford trucks right now, the automaker seems to be...
Christmas Protesting Reaches All-New High
Okay. Full disclosure, this is the part where I was supposed to write a piece comparing the 2019 GMC Yukon vs 2019 Ford Expedition....
Ford Owners Can Sound Smart with the New “Wingman 2000”
When engineer Clover Builder was at a bar during Thanksgiving, they heard a young man attempt to describe their new Ford Explorer to a...
FORD: The Dangerous New Street Drug All Parents Need to Know About
To: The Editor
Fr: A Concerned Parent
Praise the Lord for internet search histories. As the God-fearing mother of a 15-year old boy, I recently became...
Former Nissan CEO Gets the Dickens Scared Out of Him
For those of you douche bags looking to recreate those absurd holiday commercials where couples inexplicably surprise one another on Christmas morning with a...
Ford Seatbelt Recall to Blame for Rise in Vigilante Crimefighters?
Washington, D.C. - In an unprecedented show of bipartisan cooperation, Capitol Hill lawmakers joined together today, to discuss the recall of nearly 2 million...
2018 Ford Explorer: The Official Vehicle of Organized Student Walkouts
Will stronger gun reform legislation aid in reducing violent crimes? Or will it simple disarm, and penalize, lawful gun-owners placing 2nd Amendment rights under...
Edge vs Murano: Settling the Debate
I can’t think of a more hotly contested, embittered, and contentious rivalry in the entirety of the auto industry than that of the Ford...
Ancestry.com Credited with Spike in SUV Rentals
Right now, someone is standing at the desk of a Car Rental agency in New England, comparing the 2019 GMC Acadia vs 2019 Ford...
Lamest Friendship Pact Ever Leads to Tandem Suicide
In these often confusing times, judgment runs rampant. Not only are there so many individuals who fear societal change, be it interracial marriage or...
Ford and Chevy Battle for Supremacy
For decades now, the big truck manufacturers have been fighting each other in an ever-growing arms race for top numbers. It only takes a...
Focus Group Compares Ford SUVs to ‘Group of Girls You’d Meet at a Party’
Detroit, MI - Earlier this year, Ford announced that they would be refocusing their attention on their lineup of crossovers and SUV’s in the...
Ford’s e-F-150 Shows Real Towing Power
Just recently, Ford wowed the world with a demonstration of the raw power their still officially unrevealed electric F-150 pickup has. The electric truck...
Cuomo Impeachment Investigation Unearths Ford Scandal
Beleaguered New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo was dealt a new blow this afternoon, and it hit him like a Certified Pre-Owned...
High-End Matchmaking Services are Making “Certified Pre-Owned Spouses” a Thing
In today’s day-and-age, it seems that a successful business acumen has little to do with picking one area of focus and performing well in...
It’s Time To Rethink Cincinnati Marathons…Using Ford Trucks
Americans have spoken. They don't want to throw their lives away, busting their knees every so often through the horrors of a marathon. Yes,...
Bravely Going Where No SUV Has Gone Before
The best thing about owning a compact SUV is all the wonderful things you are able to do. Not only can you climb up...
