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“Why Your Mom is Like an Used Chevy Truck” and Other Fun Jokes For Latchkey Kids

a man tells his son a chevy joke
“Yo Mama’s like a used Chevy Truck, ‘cuz her bed’s all banged from random heavy tools.” Sorry. Just a little something that I’ve been work-shopping the past few days…ever since I had what I consider to be a life-changing experience. During a late lunch break (from General Motors Corporate Headquarters in Detroit, MI) I found myself stopping at a 7-11,...

NY TIMES Reveals Lowest-Selling Calendar of All-Time

Meet ‘Ford Flex,’ star of his own “super-sexy calendar.” Hmmm, actually… Meet Bill Ceryanek (aka ‘Ford Flex’) who, along with his wife Becky (aka ‘Bigg Bexx’) co-star in a 12-month calendar which features them in a number of festive and seasonally themed vignettes, which collectively explore their unique brand of (what may or may not be classified as) sexuality. But, if you’re...

Post Malone: The New Face of Highway Safety?

Post Malone's face with a crash test logo on forehead. Car crash test in background
If you’re anything like worldwide music sensation Post Malone, you’re ALWAYS TIRED…of hearing about highway casualties and want to make it better now. Well, Malone is ready to go flex his influence and start takin’ shots at the relationship between drivers and the wide-array of driver assistive features made available by today’s automakers. According to the iconic musical upstart, “I...

Innovators Hope for Self-Driving Midterm Elections

Man in suit ballot box Uber logo
Today in live auto news…developments in autonomous driving technologies are reported to have intersected with political strategies, as we race along the countdown to the November midterm elections. “How?” you ask. Well, it’s been widely reported that millennial voters remain disillusioned in regards to political institutions, dividing them not only against one another but against any dedicated party affiliations. In...

Man With 302 Credit Score Buys Most Expensive Pontiac Aztek Ever

Bad Credit Car Loans
In a world where validating memes exist to make us feel better about our relative shortcomings in a super-competitive world of existential dick measuring, perspective remains our greatest ally. From college degrees to the purchase of a home, the expectation that life has scheduled benchmarks is absurd. Some people earn their Bachelors Degree at 21 years of age, while...

Do You WANT Terminator? Because THIS is how you get Terminator!

Terminator
Los Angeles, CA - From the fun, funky and accessibly priced Spark to the iconic and enduring Impala, Chevy cars have evolved to embrace the equally evolved expectations of car buyers everywhere. In fact, out of economically priced offerings, Chevy might just be the most successful automaker when it comes to the integration of technologies. As part of a...

Hemp-Fueled Rebellion’ Voted Most Popular Car Smell By Colorado Auto Association

Used Cars Colorado Springs
Colorado Springs, CO - A recent study of the olfactory spectrum and its correlative reception by the human mind is a fancy way of saying that nerds were recently looking into how we respond to both good and bad smells. The Lemon contacted those nerds for further insights, but it was somewhere around the point where they mentioned how...

Ways to Get to Best Trade-In Value on Your Vehicle

Used Car Values
Determining accurate used car values can be a daunting task, especially when it’s your own vehicle that you’re looking to have valued as a trade-in. Of course, you want the best possible return on your initial investment to help minimize the payments on your new vehicle, but how realistic are your expectations? It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve doubled-checked...

Is the Acura MDMA the car of our Drug-Addled Future?

costa-mesa-04
We exist as parts of an enthusiast society. Both as individuals and as a collective population, we find things that we love: music, art, film, literature, sports, cars, guns. We then use that enthusiastic obsession as a foundation for our education, career path or simple use of our spare time. And in doing so, we discover, we innovate, we...

Futurecast: The Best First Car For Your Graduating Senior…in 2027

2018 Chevy Malibu vs. 2018 Toyota Camry
Congratulations. Your teenage child has completed driver’s ed and passed the licensing test as required by the state that you living in. And unless your child is a rare example of a self-motivated financial wunderkind, there is probably some expectation that you’ll be helping them to purchase their first vehicle. But even if you’re not expected to foot the...

When will Los Angeles Embrace “Jeep Life”? When Hell Freezes Over.

A man summoning hands from hell in front of the Hollywood sign and Jeeps with 'I heart satan" on the rear wheels
When searching for Jeep dealership Los Angeles drivers might be disappointed to find the relative lack of options available to them. From Bentley to Benz, it’s widely accepted that a large number of higher income L.A. drivers will place themselves behind the wheel of aspirational vehicles designed by high-end automakers. As for median to lower-income drivers, they are far...

Subterranean Mole People Found Living Beneath AutoMile

carl-003
Meet the Holderness Family. The fact is that you probably already know Penn and Kim Holderness, as well as their children Lola and Penn Charles, courtesy of your Facebook newsfeed. Beginning with their viral “Xmas Jammies” video, the Holderness Family has become an internet sensation creating family-friendly parody music videos based around every topic from “Summer Vacation” and “Back to...

Nissan Uses Gender Debate to Increase Sales Among Young Car Buyers

Nissan Trucks
The term ‘non-binary’ has been a mainstay of the English language for countless years, especially in the mathematics, science and technology communities. Defined as ‘not relating to, composed of, or involving just two things’ the terminology has more recently been adapted by younger generations for discussion of gender. Implying that limitation of gender identity to either “male” and “female”...

Food Truck Community Rejects “Phallus-Obsessed” Culinarian

Food truck chef, phallic condiment containers, bearded man eating "hotdog"
Ah, Food Trucks…the last vestiges of hope for NYC chefs-lacking-startup-capital, and for brewery-visiting-day-drinkers craving gyros in Albuquerque, NM. With little more than an online search for “used trucks for sale” and a loan from their parents, Johnson & Wales graduates can embrace the opportunity to share their culinary aspirations with the world. What do you like? Louisiana-inspired BBQ? Nepalese Pierogi?...

Brendan Frasier Might Have Left Hollywood…but he has the Perfect Used Car for You

Buy Here Pay Here Indianapolis
Social media is a funny thing. On the one hand, it caters to both our narcissistic and voyeuristic nature, providing us with a platform to express our individuality in the last unique way possible, while being seen at all times. On the other hand, it often serves as the most effective means of spreading both information and misinformation (the...

AC/DC Helps GM & FCA (to Determine Who’s Got The Biggest Balls of Them All)

2018 Chevy Camaro vs 2018 Dodge Challenger
Comparing the 2018 Chevy Camaro vs. 2018 Dodge Challenger is an exercise that is bound to prove challenging on a number of levels. With the former wrangling up to 650 horses, and the latter capable of up to 840 hp (depending on trim) either one offers a hi-po’d driving experience for horsepower junkies. Both cars boast an enthusiastic fan...

West Virginia Legislator Compares Certified Pre-Owned Programs to Bestiality

Certified Pre-Owned Chevy
Have you ever heard the saying, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig”? If your ears have never been burdened by such homespun rhetoric, rest easy, the simple truth is that such things are rarely said outside the southeast and gulf state regions. But the saying has taken on a far more aggressive correlation...

ACLU Targets General Motors on Behalf of Man with Lisp

lithp
Crowds of protestors swarmed General Motors corporate headquarters last Saturday on behalf of an automotive journalist named Steve Snyder. A newly successful YouTuber, Snyder had been commissioned to produce a video comparing the 2018 GMC Sierra vs 2018 Chevy Silverado; a comparison made difficult by a speech impediment which Snyder had been burdened with since childhood. After publicly sharing...

Progressive Church-Group Aims to Restore Value of Pre-Owned Vehicles

Used Cars
Slut-shaming. Defined as ‘the practice of criticizing those who are perceived to violate expectations of behavior and appearance regarding issues related to sexuality,’ slut-shaming has become a significant hot-button topic in recent years. Related to more than just discussions of casual sex, slut-shaming has also been tied to expectations of birth control, deviation from dress codes and even the...

Ford Explorer Named “Official Vehicle of the Flatulent”

Live Auto News
If you’re among those who keep up to date with live auto news, you’re aware of the countless recalls and bad press that blights the automotive industry. One such headline is Ford’s continued subjection to the U.S. government’s auto safety agency’s exhaustive (no pun intended) investigation into complaints of exhaust fumes inside Ford Explorers. With over 2,700 complaints issued, the...