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Toyota Wants You to Treat Your Vehicle Nicely

We’ve seen vehicles that include concierge services, automatic crash response systems, and even autonomous driving. Now, Toyota is revolutionizing the industry by engineering trucks that have “feelings.” In a set of documents that were exclusively acquired by The Lemon, it was revealed that several upcoming Toyota trucks will include the brand’s unique “Emotional Feeling” functions. After years of seeing customers...

The Gassed & Injurious

Like many Americans, Frank Topomi suddenly found himself in need of a new vehicle. Unfortunately for Frank, it was just days away from his wedding to (then) girlfriend Theresa Kumon. With dozens of friends and family members due to arrive, and fine-tuning required for the rehearsal dinner, car shopping was the last burden that either of them wanted to...

What’s in a Name?

Disclaimer: I’m not saying you HAVE to be high to do this (but it helps). At some point, or another, most of us have passed a minute or two of our lives performing a certain simple exercise. Repeating a word, even the simplest of words, over and over again until it no longer makes any sense. No seriously, pick a...

Competitors Conspire to Make the Mazda SUV Their Bitch

In 2017, no-one likes a bully… Unless, of course, you’re a bully with genuine self-confidence, then there’s a good chance that you feel pretty good about yourself. Lack of self-loathing aside, bullies now find themselves locked within the cross-hairs of society’s loaded gun. With the masses growing less and less tolerant of any individuals or group that targets a weaker...

Car Accessories You’ll Need for the Zombie Apocalypse

Right now, zombies are clearly all the rage, as you seemingly can’t change the channel without seeing an undead person stumbling across the screen. However, I don’t think these television executives and producers are necessarily giving in to public demand. Rather, I think they’re trying to warn us and prepare us for the impending zombie apocalypse. Well, I couldn’t stand...

Chevy Producing Orange-Fueled Cars

We recently learned that Britain would be banning the sale of new gasoline and diesel cars by the year 2040. While the government is seemingly assuming that consumers will opt for electric or hybrid cars, Chevy is already working on a different type of engine…and this new innovation could ultimately influence the entire automotive industry. This will be an...

What Post-Divorce Dating Could Learn From Certified Pre-Owned Programs

Two cute young adults laughing and holding flowers
When shopping for your next vehicle, you tend to decide upfront whether you’re looking for something brand new, and shiny with all the coolest new features - or if you’re in the market for something a little more broken in, with some mileage on it. If you’re opting for the latter, it’s always nice when you can get some...

Google Takes a Dump

Oh, Google…you presumptuous bitch. Don’t act like you don’t know exactly what I’m talking about. You type a word or two into the search bar, and Google starts suggesting any number of options which may, or may not, have anything to do with your query. In fact some of Google’s suggestions are so downright bizarre, that the phenomenon has launched...

Chevy Asks Stay-At-Home Dads to Design SUVs

If you go on to any car brand’s press website, you’ll quickly see a list of articles that tout the company’s recent design contests. Often times, the participants are students and future engineers who are looking to put yet another accolade on their college resume. On the flip side, the brand benefits by having these young geniuses generate clever,...

Just a Gigolo…for a BMW

For the average person, there are two stages to any kind of exorbitant purchase. The first stage involves looking into the top of the line version, admiring it for everything that it is, and accepting that it is way outside of your budget. The second means deciding whatever version you can ultimately afford (re: settle for). Searching through BMWs is...