GMC SUV Prepares To Scale Border Wall

A man in front of multiple obscene and offensive tweets

“The ramp needs a bit more elevation!” yelled Tommy McCallahan as he put the finishing touches on a ramp in his back yard. Generally, if someone were to come across this scene, they’d probably assume that Tommy was building some skatepark. Considering the size of the ramp, perhaps they’d think Tommy was preparing for some daredevil stunt. Well, they’d be partially right with that latter thought. Tommy McCallahan is preparing a ramp that will allow individuals to scale the impending United States/Mexico border wall. Initially, the Harvard graduate believed the feat would be some kind of act of rebellion against Donald Trump and the White House. “When my friend Jerry pointed out that it was probably a fruitless task, that made me rethink everything,” McCallahan explained to The Lemon. “That’s when I decided to take this stunt to a whole new level.” After the engineering graduate found himself arguing the merits of the 2019 GMC Terrain vs 2019 Mazda CX-5, McCallahan decided to tout his favorite GMC SUV by sending it over to Mexico. The 29-year-old decided to build a giant ramp in his backyard that could easily support the weight of a vehicle that weighs thousands of pounds. Furthermore, he intended for the 2019 GMC Terrain to easily scale the wall, land in Mexico, and prove to everyone that Trump’s wall wasn’t as impenetrable as initially thought.

However, Tommy quickly found himself dealing with a pair of predicaments:

  1. No one was willing to climb a giant ramp and hop over a wall.
  2. No one was particularly eager to jump from the United States-side of the wall to the Mexican-side of the wall.

“Trump believes that the border wall will divide the United States and Mexico,” McCallahan explained. “instead, I want to show that this border wall will actually unify the two nations.”

After announcing his plans via his Twitter account (and his three burner accounts), McCallahan faced some backlash.

“What a stupid fucking idea,” read one tweet.

“What is this supposed to prove?” said another tweet.

“Typical libtard with a shortsighted idea,” read one of our favorite tweets.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), these tweets only helped to fuel McCallahan’s fire.

“People say it can’t be done, or they said the stunt makes no sense,” said McCallahan. “Maybe they’re right, but I want to prove that they’re wrong.”

McCallhan quickly learned that those pundits were actually correct. Despite possessing an engineering degree, the Harvard grad has absolutely zero carpentry or building experience. His first attempt at driving a 2019 GMC Terrain onto the ramp resulted in the entire wood structure collapsing.

His second attempt, which included a metal ramp, was a bit more successful… but McCallahan trashed his SUV in the process. After securing a replacement via his rich father, McCallhan believes he’s approaching the final stages of his idea.

The individual somehow secured an agreement with LibTube, an independent streaming service, to live stream the event. He’s also helped donate to a GoFundMe page that advocates for the wall.

“After all, I can’t complete the stunt unless the wall is in place,” he explained.

Now, McCallahan waits for the wall to be constructed. When that day comes, you can bet that he’ll be prepared with his 2019 GMC Terrain.


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