Buick Stays Woke With New Ad Campaign
In many ways, the auto industry is like a rugged old tortoise: dependable, stoic, and slowly plodding toward an inevitable expiration date that’s likely...
Chevy Reignites Its Passion for EV Design
There’s no denying that Chevy is a legend in the auto industry. They’ve been around for more than 100 years, blazing a trail for...
CDC Says, “Safe to Pick Up Hitchhikers Again”
When I was seven years old, a neighbor gave me a piece of advice that I’ve never forgotten: he said, “When the next great...
GM Announces New “Lidless Eye” Initiative
Few things in this sullen world excite me quite so much as when car companies announce exciting new promotional campaigns for their vehicles. Whether...
Toyota (and Others) Want You to Smash that Subscribe Button
My readers, you wise and prosperous fools, I come to you today with a vision: my vision for the auto industry and what it...
Shocking Lawsuit Filed Against Auto Industry
Buckle up friends because this is a story you’re not going to find anywhere else – at least not yet – but one you...
Consultants Definitely Not Trying to Make EVs Look Bad
The other day, after my seventh cup of coffee, second pack of cigarettes, and fourth mild bout of paranoia, I was taking my typical...
Helpful Tips From Chevy For Bolt Owners
I love the auto industry, which is why it’s often deeply satisfying to watch it burn down – sometimes literally. If you stay abreast...
There’s No Shortage of Shortages
If you follow the auto industry as closely as I do, then you’ve probably heard a great deal about the microchip shortage that’s currently...
The Chevy Bolt Ev Is Going to Kill Us All
Friends, I’m here today with urgent news that will absolutely save your life and the lives of all of the people you love and...
Tesla Unveils New Model S-NL To Commemorate Musk’s Hosting Gig
Fresh off the heels of CEO Elon Musk’s appearance on Saturday Night Live, Tesla recently unveiled a new model of their popular electric vehicle...
Five Things You Don’t Know about the Ultium Battery
Many people have hailed GM’s new Ultium battery and platform as a technological marvel that will pave the way for them to take over...
Ford Announces: All-New Lincoln Lucifer SUV
Recently, rapper and online “personality” Lil Nas X made headlines with his limited run of “Satan Sneakers,” which were seemingly designed by a 15-year...
Amidst Chip Shortage, Auto Industry Looks for Radical Solutions
My frequent readers will know that I have three skills: eloquence and a knack for crafting exquisite sentences, the ability to restate...
Mars Rover Sorely Lacking Flair, Complain Gearheads
Traveling over 300 million miles in six months and landing with pinpoint accuracy, NASA’s Mars rover Perseverance is a marvel of modern...
Kia Introduces a Clown Car for the 21st Century
I’ve always said the auto industry is a big tent: there’s room for all and something for everyone beneath its wide, striped...
Huge Leak: Major Info about the Apple Car
Whether you’re interested in auto news or simply have ears and eyes, you’ve probably heard some sort of scuttlebutt about an Apple...
Introducing the Ford Chassis Cab Insurrection Edition
Friends, as you well know, I consider myself an unassailable bastion of automotive journalistic integrity and a man that can eat an unreasonable number...
Hold GME: One Man’s Story
By the end of 2020, I thought nothing could surprise me anymore; then we had 31 days of January, and now I don’t know...
Auto Industry Driving Divorces in the New Millennium
Friends, today I’m here to talk to you about something most people seem to be ignoring: divorce rates in the US are on the...
