The silhouettes of the Fellowship of the Ring characters are in front of a Ford dealership.

The Lord of the Compact Crossovers: The Two Transports

As a woodland elf, there is only one thing I love in this world. That’s getting the best of dwarves. While my people sought...
A grey 2021 Ford Bronco Sport and 2021 Jeep Renegade in red are parked on dirt with black text that says 'the possibilities are relatively endless'.

Bravely Going Where No SUV Has Gone Before

The best thing about owning a compact SUV is all the wonderful things you are able to do. Not only can you climb up...
A Warthog is parked in front of a 2021 Ford Bronco Sport and 2021 Jeep Wrangler in the desert, which is a close comparison to the 2021 Ford Bronco Sport vs 2021 Jeep Renegade.

The Best off-Roader in the Universe Is Not a Bronco or a Jeep

Hello, fellow mud-heads! Boy, have I got exciting news for you. I was planning to break down a 2021 Ford Bronco Sport vs 2021...
A man is looking at a scale while comparing a mini 2021 Chevy Trax vs 2021 Buick Encore.

The Chevy Trax and Buick Encore are Definitely Not the Same

Dear readers, I’m known for three things: the vague scent of ham that follows me everywhere, my love for soup served piping hot in...
Two grumpy old men at the dealership arguing about why the Cadallic won in the 2020 Cadillac XT6 vs 2020 Buick Enclave competition.

People’s Choice: The Cadillac XT6 or Buick Enclave?

Listen up, you misbegotten collection of ill-tempered household pets, freeway wanderers, and mind-swapped war criminals in the bodies of potted plants. (Yes, I know...
A closeup shows a State Farm commercial playing on the infotainment screen of a 2020 Chevy Equinox.

It’s A Car! No, It’s A She-Shed!

What if we took two perfectly innocent and respectable SUVs, the 2020 Chevy Equinox vs 2020 Hyundai Santa Fe, and assigned them even more...
Side profiles of the 2020 Jeep Compass vs 2020 Toyota RAV4 are shown in front of an inbox of emails.

Boddums Up: The 2020 Jeep Compass Conundrum

Good day readers, I’ve got a treat for you. You see, I’ve become something of a celebrity over the last few months as my...
A desert marauder has to choose between a 2020 Ford Fusion vs 2020 Hyundai Sonata during the apocalypse.

2020 Ford Fusion vs 2020 Hyundai Sonata: Which one will make a better Desert-Marauder...

As the world tilts ever closer to the jaws of oblivion, it becomes more and more pervasive in the zeitgeist of popular culture that...
In a comparison of the 2020 Chevy Traverse vs 2020 Dodge Durango, both vehicles are shown in white in front of numbers and an eye graphic.

The Traverse vs Durango: By the Numbers

Choosing the right midsize SUV is hard – there’s a reason most people request a few days off from work in order to pick...
A white 2021 Chevy Tahoe is driving on a dirt road and spitting murder hornets and somehow has something to do with a 2020 Chevy Equinox vs 2020 Hyundai Santa Fe comparison.

Surviving The Murder Hornets and a Global Pandemic: The Rise of the Mobile Safe...

Gone are the times when we could compare vehicles solely on their performance and handling merits. We long for the good old days when...
The Blue Man Group is behind the Bluetooth logo, a 2021 Chevy Trailblazer and 2020 Chevy Trax.

Blue Man Group Offended Over Term Bluetooth, to Sue Car Companies That Use the...

Blue Man Group, the famous musical and artistic performance group, sent shockwaves through the automotive industry this Wednesday. Believe it or not, they made...
A woman is in a shower comparing 2020 Chevy Equinox vs 2020 Nissan Rogue with a box of pistachio pudding.

Nothing I Say is True

Friends, I care very much about your time, your interests, and the needs and wants of your loved ones. I’m a generous and kind...
A white 2020 Ford Fusion, a red 2020 Chevy Malibu and a referee are on the field of a football stadium.

Controversy Hits the 2020 Sedan Bowl

This year’s Sedan Bowl was set to be a divisive face-off between the 2020 Ford Fusion and the 2020 Chevy Malibu. A rapid red...
A man is punching through a computer in front of Joe Rogan and a UFC octagon showing a fight between a blue 2020 Chevy Malibu vs 2020 Ford Fusion.

I Can Beat Up the Chevy Malibu and Ford Fusion

The Internets, such as they are, are awash in articles, blog posts, videos, and thought-implant-imagery telling you what vehicle you should buy. If you...
Ford CEO Jim Hackett is shown giving a speech while wearing a mask and with a virus pin.

Ford Begins Manufacturing Masks for 2020 Ford Expedition

In an attempt to boost sluggish sales, stop climate change, and appease the snowflake liberal media in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Ford...
A shocked squirrel is next to a 2020 Chevy Traverse vs 2020 Honda Pilot parked in front of trees.

“Nuts!” – Brigadier General McAuliffe; Dec. 22, 1944

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me, but if there’s anything I’ve learned from the extensive data we collect from you every...
A crossed out circle is over a man putting a pool liner in his white truck's bed.

How to Turn Your Pickup Truck into Your Own Socially Isolated Swimming Pool

Yes, it’s that time of the year again, when temperatures reach triple digits and a great number of beachgoers realize that they should’ve spent...
The Chevy Emblem is stuck to a spider web.

The 2021 Chevy Colorado is Full of Spiders

If you like small trucks, I mean really small trucks – the kind of trucks you can fit into your pocket, I’m talking really...
A German man is behind sausages, which are surrounded by equations to compare the 2020 Chevy Blazer vs 2020 Kia Sorento.

How Many Sausages Do They Fit?

Listen, dammit: over the years, I've worked with a lot of fine people that write a lot of exceptional articles about a lot of...
A homeless-looking man ignores 2020 Chevy Blazer vs 2020 Kia Sorento and gives an interview about jellyfish.

Blazer or Sorento: Clash at Kalamazoo

There are a lot of midsize SUVs available these days, so picking the right one can be difficult. It can help to look at...