CHICAGO, Ill. — An announcement from the McDonald’s Corporation has left consumers both impressed and confused.
Amy Jamieson, the Director for US Field Communications and Public Relations at McDonald’s, told an eagerly assembled band of reporters on Wednesday that the fast food giant was teaming up with automotive legacy corporation Ford for a “new cross-promotion.”
“Talks with Ford’s leadership have yielded the promise of a prosperous relationship,” said Jamieson, “and we intend to kickstart this symbiotic venture with a new cross-promotion. Starting in March and running until the end of summer, drivers who sign a four-year lease for a Ford Super Duty will receive a voucher for a free six-piece McNugget.”
Jamieson reiterated that the lease must be a four-year contract—no more, no less. The McNuggets, too, shall only come in a six-piece portion. Dipping sauce is not guaranteed.
A reporter from MSNBC asked why the terms were so stringent, why the lease couldn’t be a two-year deal, why only a Ford Super Duty (which is typically bought for commercial purposes), why the chicken nuggets couldn’t be a twenty-piece portion, or why drivers couldn’t at least get more than one voucher.
Jamieson said the two companies are testing the waters and might adjust the terms down the road.
A journalist with CNN asked why they didn’t initiate this program with terms more likely to encourage participation, since it’s hard to “test the waters” if nobody is interested in the deal to begin with.
Jamieson said the two companies are testing the waters on testing the waters.
A representative of Newsmax asked if signing two leases would enable a person to get two free six-piece McNuggets. Jamieson said there was no limit on the number of Ford Super Dutys a person could purchase. The representative then asked if she had the paperwork on hand. Jamieson said she did not.
The Newsmax representative leaped from his chair and hastily, noisily left the room.
Mark Truby, Ford’s Chief Communications Officer, was phoned for comments on the new program and the Blue Oval’s new relationship with McDonald’s. The following is the latter two-thirds of the transcript of our phone call:
MT (Mark Truby): “It’s ingenious, and we can’t wait to see how it performs.”
FBS (Friar Bolt Stoker): “What about it is ingenious?”
MT: “The McNuggets-and-truck thing.”
FBS: “Do you mean that what’s ingenious is providing a deal where a person can get free chicken with the purchase of a vehicle?”
MT: “It’s genius.”
FBS: “It’s certainly novel. Could you tell me what inspired this program?”
MT: “People buy trucks. People buy chickie nuggies. It was a no-brainer.”
FBS: “How so?”
MT: “People might want chickie nuggies so bad they buy a truck.”
FBS: “Was there a focus group or something to inspire this correlation?”
MT: “No, my guy, you’re not listening. It’s just chicken and trucks.”
FBS: “So there wasn’t any market research done to provoke this kind of—”
MT: “Just chicken and trucks, my guy. Just chicken and trucks.”
FBS: “Okay, so, let me get this straight. People who find themselves hungry would be more likely to hunt down a Ford dealership and spend hours negotiating and signing paperwork instead of just jaunting over to the nearest McDonald’s or Wendy’s to—”
MT: “Just McDonald’s.”
FBS: “But what I’m saying is, you’re suggesting they’d be more inclined to go to a showroom than a drive-thru to get fast food?”
MT: “You’re twisting my words.”
FBS: “No, I’m just confused.”
MT: “Chicken and trucks.”
FBS: “But why, though?”
MT: “If people want nuggs, and they want truggs, then they can get nuggs with their truggs.”
FBS: “Are you saying ‘truggs’?”
MT: “Nuggs ‘n truggs, son.”
FBS: “I am more confused than when we started.”
MT: “Trungs.”
FBS: “Can we backpedal just a bit?”
MT: “Schmedal.”
FBS: “Who first conceived this program?”
MT: “Ronnie did.”
FBS: “Ronnie? Is this somebody at Ford?”
MT: “No, McDonald’s.”
FBS: “Ronnie who? Do you have their phone number?”
MT: “He has no phone number.”
FBS: “Okay, that’s fine. Who is he?”
MT: “He’s the king.”
FBS: “The king? The king of what?”
MT: “Ronnie McDonnie. The Clown. The King of the Nuggs.”
FBS: “Um, okay. Sure.”
MT: “He lives in the walls, at McDonald’s HQ. He spoke to us, told us to do things.”
FBS: “Do things? What things?”
MT: “Horrible things. And deals. Truck deals. Nugget deals.”
FBS: “So why the Super Duty? Why only six nuggets?”
MT: “The nuggets are his and his alone. He made them.”
FBS: “He made them? What does that mean?”
MT: “He made them. In the walls.”
FBS: “What does that mean, though?”
MT: “I’ve said too much. He’s listening. I have to go.”
FBS: “Who’s listening? The clown?”
Truby then hung up, but the call remained on the line. I was confused and curious. Then I heard breathing…
Heavy, ragged breathing…
And then the call went dead.
Beginning March 1, 2024, visit any participating Ford dealership in the continental United States and sign a four-year lease for a Super Duty pickup to receive a voucher for a six-piece Chicken McNugget, redeemable at any participating McDonald’s until October.
The only participating Ford dealerships are in Oregon, Idaho, and Washington state. The only participating McDonald’s restaurant is at 300 E Sunrise Blvd, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304.
