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How to Turn Your Pickup Truck into Your Own Socially Isolated Swimming Pool

A crossed out circle is over a man putting a pool liner in his white truck's bed.
Yes, it’s that time of the year again, when temperatures reach triple digits and a great number of beachgoers realize that they should’ve spent more time working on their summer bod. 2020 is different, though, as this year is the year of the virus. With public pools shuttered and beaches kind of open but mostly closed, it is clear...

How to Tell if Your Jeep is Plotting to Kill You

A man is running from a black Jeep Wrangler that is off-roading over rocks.
Friends, (I’m not your friend, but I’m starting this article this way so you feel like I can relate to you – rather than realizing this is being produced as a result of 17 algorithms designed to monitor online traffic and produce content that you’ll consume like the adoring servant we want you to be), I’m sure you’ve seen...

2021 Kia Soul EV: Necromancy Meets Technomancy

A green 2021 Kia Soul EV is parked in front of modern witches dancing.
If you know anything about the auto industry, then you should know this: long has it been entrenched in the dark arts of sorcery and witchcraft. The internal combustion engine is, after all, nothing more than the inevitable evolution of the ancient bubbling pot of herbs and ingredients used in the most arcane of eldritch arts. And so it...

GMC Launches Rival to Space-X Program

Walter White is in a space suit on a scape station.
Once again, in our history, the space race is heating up. With multiple private and public enterprises diving onto the space exploration bandwagon, GMC is officially trading in its all-American overalls for a futuristic space suit and edgy new approach to doing business. Gone are the days when new GMC trucks for sale made headlines for the company. Now...

Selling a Car in the End Times

A hand is holding keys in front of a sign that says 'The End is Near.'
As the world lovingly crumbles around us, it’s a buyer’s market out there folks – a seller’s market too if you have the right items. Used car dealerships continue to want to not only sell vehicles to you, but they also want you to sell them your cars so they can turn those around to sell later. They are...

Atlanta is Changing the Auto Industry

Donald Glover is next to the Buick emblem and a car from a Buick dealer in Atlanta.
Big things are happening in Atlanta, and the auto industry is changing forever in an effort to keep up with these remarkable events. It’s no surprise, considering the population of Atlanta is nearly half a million people, many of them licensed drivers with a need for reliable vehicles. While these changes have been most pronounced at Buick dealers in...

I Want to See Animals Driving the Ford EcoSport

A frog, sloth, and other animals are inside a 2020 Ford EcoSport.
Friends, the 2020 Ford EcoSport is a hell of an SUV. It has four tires, good strong tires that really connect to the road thanks to the Earth getting in the way of gravity doing what it does. There’s an engine in there, some kind of mechanism that produces energy and distributes it to those amazing tires I mentioned...

The 2021 Chevy Colorado is Full of Spiders

The Chevy Emblem is stuck to a spider web.
If you like small trucks, I mean really small trucks – the kind of trucks you can fit into your pocket, I’m talking really jam down into your pants, then keep reading. You’re in luck, oh reader mine, because today we’re talking about the Colorado – not that state full of pot-smoking werewolves and domesticated albatrosses, but the pickup...

Chevy Offers Spring Breakers Free Ride Into The Ocean

Two teens are sitting in front of a hookah, the Chevy logo and a hand holding car keys.
It's Spring Break, and Florida is open for business. With cloudless skies and beautiful surf, the Sunshine State wants to make sure it lives up to it's billing as America's Wang and piss all over any notion of home quarantine. Because, after all, college kids have the right to binge drink and soak up some rays! After all, there's...

The Chevy Subavark: Solving the Problem

A 2021 Chevy Subavark, which is part 2020 Chevy Spark and part Suburban, is under the Chevy emblem in front of a city skyline.
As you no doubt know by now, Chevrolet, in its infinite wisdom, recently unveiled its newest offering in the highly competitive SUV/hatchback market: the 2021 Chevy Subavark, the next evolution of the 2020 Chevy Spark. While I won’t bore you with a lazy retread of Chevy’s big announcement, suffice to say the new vehicle has taken the world by...