Home Blog

L.A. Legal Battle Erupts Between Dealership and Gentlemen’s Club

A woman stands behind the Hollywood sign in the battle between Los Angeles Dodge dealer and a gentlemans club
Los-Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Dodge dealerships are finding themselves the unintentional victim in a legal battle waging between the badass automaker that they're franchisees of, and a place where a crumpled dollar bill can score you a look at a nipple. When Dodge, the Fiat-Chrysler owned automaker (whose performance pedigree need-not-be-questioned-here) chose to reassert its longstanding reputation for a...

High-End Matchmaking Services are Making “Certified Pre-Owned Spouses” a Thing

Silhouette of man and woman in front of sunset with "Approved, certified pre-owned" text
In today’s day-and-age, it seems that a successful business acumen has little to do with picking one area of focus and performing well in that particular area. The desire for growth, expansion and synergy-fueled cross-marketing opportunities have made it tempting for major corporations and their subsidiaries to dip their toes in the proverbial pools of both neighbors and strangers...

GMC Canyon Challenges Honda Ridgeline for “Last to Be Picked in Gym Class”

Children fighting in front of gym teacher with 2019 GMC Canyon and Honda Ridgeline in back
Bethesda, MD - Do you own a 2019 GMC Canyon? Chevy Suburban? Expedition? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, love the ample passenger and cargo space, and have zero shame, you might be exactly what the Bethesda Motors Group is looking for. A local high school has partnered with the family of car dealerships to create what...

Why the 2019 Ford Ecosport is a Game-Changer in Treating Clinical Mediocrity

A man crying over his love of the 2019 Ford EcoSport
Having just been introduced to the U.S market over a year ago, the 2019 Ford Ecosport may not have a lot of mileage behind it but (according to Ford insiders) it’s about to become the indistinguishable billboard of many Americans who are a ‘little further along’ in their respective life journeys. Since 1965, psychodynamic theory has lent weight to the...

Bugatti Considering SUV (And in related story, Would Demi Lovato Date a ‘Dad-Bod’?)

Large man with "Stay Strong" and "Demi Lovato" tattooed on chest, Demi Lovato holding face, on black background
When Monday morning rolls around in the office, and someone asks me how my weekend was, they’re probably expecting small-talk about work I got done around the house or how my 13-year old daughter fared in her cheerleading competition. But my arrival in recent weeks have come complete with an added skip in my step, with who else to...

Family Full of Douchebags? Test Drive a Chevy Suburban Today!

Shadows of family at beach with the text #momlife #happyfamily #perfectday #lovemyfamily #livingourbestlife #livelaughlove #lifedoesntgetanybetter #togetherforever #what #omg #WTF #carsarentallowed #slowdown #stop #noplease #stop
According to industry insiders, General Motors has come under fire for recent marketing initiatives built around the 2019 Chevy Suburban. With a starting price point of $50,600 MSRP it seems reasonable that Chevy would build a campaign that targeted the upper-middle class demographic most likely to purchase the Suburban. However, the increasing influence of democratic socialist ideals upon younger...

Increase in Used SUV Sales Linked to Increase in Abductions

Red van with "Free candy" written on side and woman tied up with duct tape over mouth
Whether you’re exploring makes, models, model years, trim levels or body styles the simple fact is that there’s some sort of audience for each and every vehicle on the road. Selecting that perfect vehicle means finding the one that fits organically with your lifestyle, budget and (yes) personal image. Failure to do so is the equivalent of a seven-foot...

Chevy Presents 2019 SUV Lineup (aka “Billings’ Last Stand”)

Man in front of microphones and press conference with 2 red Xs
Detroit, MI - As recently reported by The Lemon, the marketing team at General Motors has had a rough go of things as of late. Looking to reinvigorate their initiatives to reflect the evolving expectations of Generation Y and Z car-buyers, GM decided to bring Josh Billings onboard, to ‘shake things up’. Branded as some sort of a ‘marketing...

Want to Look “Well-Off” Without any Risk of Sexual Impropriety?

Man proposing with male chastity device while checking out woman in a Cadillac dress
In this era of pursuant equality, political disparity and never-ending coverage of ‘He Said / She Said’ hearings related to sexual impropriety the world has never felt so divided. Fortunately, the majority of us have the daily opportunity to set aside our ‘big picture cynicism’ and focus on the strength, loyalty and support offered by our own personal relationships....

BUMBLEBEE to Introduce Controversial “Non-PC” Transformer (for “Era Accuracy”)

A black VW Golf with bumper sticker "tits or GTFO", Bumblebee transformer and woman silhouette in front of sunset
This Christmas, Paramount Pictures releases the newest chapter in the Transformers film franchise in the form of BUMBLEBEE, a prequel centered around the breakout star of Michael Bay’s blockbuster series. Beginning with 2007 TRANSFORMERS, the series quickly reached beloved status in the eyes of its target demographics: young children and adults who grew up with the 80’s Hasbro toys and...