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The Greatest Disaster of Our Time!
Friends, it’s your old pal J. Jonah Von Gourdboddum here, and I’m coming to you today with alarming information. Information that other, so-called “news” outlets and biased, liberal-controlled media sites simply won’t share with you. No, they’re far too in bed with tire shops across this great nation of ours to want to open up your eyes to the...
Controversy Hits the 2020 Sedan Bowl
This year’s Sedan Bowl was set to be a divisive face-off between the 2020 Ford Fusion and the 2020 Chevy Malibu. A rapid red metallic Titanium Fusion was all set to gear up against a cajun red Premier Malibu in a red-hot race to the finish line. Both vehicles were tightly matched with similar horsepower (245-250) and torque (260-275...
I Can Beat Up the Chevy Malibu and Ford Fusion
The Internets, such as they are, are awash in articles, blog posts, videos, and thought-implant-imagery telling you what vehicle you should buy. If you go looking to find the difference between the 2020 Chevy Malibu vs 2020 Ford Fusion and if you should buy one or the other, you’ll find the answer, oh yes. It may be disguised as...
Why Jeep Should Reconsider The Term All-Terrain
As brands and companies fall victim to marketing missteps and downright tone-deafness, there is a single brand that continues to operate unabetted by angry Twitter profiles and celebrity personalities alike, Jeep. Yes, we mean the beloved car manufacture known best for their development of vehicles that are intended to symbolize the ultimate freedom, freedom from the road. But what...
Our Case for Why Auto Manufacturers Should Start Developing Spaceships
Change is constant, no matter how you spin it. While you can fight the perpetual march of time and innovation, chances are you’ll be left in the dust like Mercury, AMC, and Pontiac. Sure, you can stay ahead of the curve by developing hybrid models, or spunky little compact SUVs, but these are small fish here; what automakers should...
Which Cadillac SUV can Fit the Most Dead Hookers?
A wise man once said to me, “There are three things you should always do before you buy a car: you should kick its tires, you should check where it was parked for leaks, and you should know how many dead bodies it can fit.” Those are the kind of words I live by, not only as a professional...
The All New Chevy Hyper-Duty 6800 Macho Commando Pickup Truck
Shopping for a new pickup truck, but unimpressed with the selection? Well, you're not alone, sure there may be plenty of pickup models out there, but few really tip the scales in power. It's the same old same old wherever you go from Ford to Toyota, pickup trucks with a horsepower rating still in the triple digits, and a...
Exposé: Hybridization and the Loss of Humanity
The other morning, as I was having my traditional breakfast of chocolate cake served on a bed of squid-ink fettuccine, a thought occurred to me. This is not unusual, of course, thoughts occur to me all the time. At this very moment, for example, a part of my brain is screaming at me, “Why are you doing this? Go...
How to Incorporate Chevy Trucks into Your Next D&D Game Night
If there’s one thing I know, it’s this: the Venn diagram depicting truck enthusiasts and tabletop gamers is a perfect circle! We’ve all played games like “Lost Journey to Detroit” and the classic “Secret Caverns of Ford” (now, sadly, out of print), and had a lot of fun. But if you’re anything like me (and let’s hope you’re not),...
Ford Begins Manufacturing Masks for 2020 Ford Expedition
In an attempt to boost sluggish sales, stop climate change, and appease the snowflake liberal media in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Ford Motor Company announced earlier this week that it had begun manufacturing masks for the 2020 Ford Expedition and several other Ford models.
The move came as a surprise to many who were unaware that vehicles such...
