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Dad’s Grand Cherokee Doubles As World’s Largest Classic Rock Archive
Researchers announced a major discovery today after a treasure trove of classic rock albums were uncovered in the backseat of a local dad’s used Jeep Grand Cherokee. Ethnomusicologists from around the world are now descending on the man’s garage, and early reports rate the collection as one of the most extensive and important of its time.
“I’m just glad someone...
Buying an SUV? Keep Your Friends in Mind
Choosing the right SUV is hard – even worse, a lot of online resources don’t really help. Instead, they provide you with a lot of rubbish about horsepower, towing, cargo capacity, and other such offal that no one really needs to know about. For example, if you start looking at the 2021 Jeep Grand Cherokee L vs 2021 Toyota...
Apples Forgotten in Backseat Just Live There Now I Guess
A bag of perfectly good apples are now rotting in the backseat of an area couple’s 2022 Chevy Traverse after their annual trip to a local orchard. Witnesses say Tom Cole and his girlfriend spent hours finding the perfect produce to “match their aesthetic,” but reports now indicate that the chosen apples have a slim chance of ever seeing...
BREAKING – 5th Gen Mazda Miata “NE” Will Be All-Electric and Made of Cork!
Since its introduction in 1989, the Mazda MX-5 Miata has been one of the world’s most beloved sports cars. This lightweight roadster is a brilliant combination of British tradition, American ingenuity, and Japanese engineering - and for its current generation (known as the ND by enthusiasts), the Miata even added a healthy dose of Italian styling thanks to its...
F-150 Lightning or Cybertruck: Which is More Practical to Charge?
If you’re at all interested in an electric pickup, then you’re probably keeping a close eye on these two popular models that have been bandied about quite a bit. Looking at the 2022 Ford F-150 Lightning vs 2022 Tesla Cybertruck, one of the most important considerations to have in mind is what it will take to keep them charged....
New SUV Dreading Start Of Tailgate Season
Football season is upon us, and with it comes the official start of tailgate season. For those who can’t participate in the battle on the gridiron, the stadium parking lot is its own field of dreams: a magical place where all decorum around public drinking is thrown out the window, and the only rule is to never flip another...
Back-To-School Spurs Tune-Ups for Anxious Parents
When Maria Hamilton rolled into the service center of her local Chevy dealership last week, there was some confusion among the staff. Hamilton had just purchased her brand-new 2022 Chevy Colorado days before, and, barring a case of buyer’s remorse, it was difficult to figure out why she was back so soon. After a short discussion with the manager,...
Eight Budget DIY Car Maintenance Items No One Is Telling You About
#1 Fuel Additives
There are thousands of marketed products out there that are used to clean your engine internals. The combustion process in an engine creates a lot of undesirable byproducts, especially when things are not perfectly dialed in. Having a dirty mass airflow sensor or clogged filter can cause a host of issues. Also, as a vehicle ages, things...
There’s No Shortage of Shortages
If you follow the auto industry as closely as I do, then you’ve probably heard a great deal about the microchip shortage that’s currently playing havoc with car production. I’d like to tell you that this shortage is nearly over, and everything is about to go back to normal, but I have too much respect for you, dear reader,...
Just In Time for Summer: GM’s Debuts “Hot Dog of Cars”
When a GM representative rolled into the parking lot of Fast Larry’s Used Cars early last year, no one knew quite what to make of the bespectacled stranger. Employees at the Kentucky used car lot had seen a number of odd requests in their time, but nothing quite as odd as on that day. Despite working for the country’s...
Jeep and Nestle Collaborate On New Heat Wave-Ready Model
This summer has seen record high temperatures set across the globe, with asphalt buckling in the Pacific Northwest and the mercury reaching 121 degrees in parts of Canada. Given that the literal conflagration of our planet is now a divisive partisan issue, this unprecedented heat wave could well be the new normal, and brands are hustling to take advantage...
How to Choose the Best Sports Car
Friends, I’m not one to brag, but if you know anything about me, then it’s probably the fact that I’m the best there is at choosing vehicles. I know how to give them a good look, how to gauge their abilities and performance, and I bring that all together for a comprehensive view of each and every vehicle. When...
A Woman’s Guide to the Ram 1500 and Chevy Silverado
Ladies, has this ever happened to you? You’re enjoying a nice evening, maybe spending some time with a new fella who’s been sliding into your DMs, and suddenly things go south. Maybe he put his hand on your knee when you clearly weren’t interested, maybe he told you how much prettier you’d be if you smiled more, or maybe...
4 Reasons I’m Excited about the Ford Maverick
If there’s one thing I’ve been hoping for during the last 18 months of uncertainty, madness, and despair, it’s that Ford would introduce another truck. Fortunately for all of us, my prayers have been answered with the Ford Maverick: the little pickup that could. I’ve done some digging at my local Ford Maverick dealer to learn everything I can...
Which is Sexier: Ram 1500 or Ford F-150?
Since the dawn of time, humanity has been driven by a number of basic needs: food, shelter, and a mind-numbing desire to gyrate aggressively upon one another. This fundamental aspect of our very being has not been overlooked or ignored by those in business; as they say, “sex sells,” and so we see sexuality and the sensual nature of...
Obscure Rules Violation Sees Local Racing Team Bounced From Upcoming Race
Allentown, PA: When Cary Richards’ Camaro ZL1 1LE took its place on the starting line in last month’s pre-race trials, all the attention was focused on the sporty stock car. A clear frontrunner to land pole position at the upcoming Pennsylvania 500––referred to by many as the “Olympics of Eastern Pennsylvania Racing”––the Camaro was hard to miss with its...
Ohtani Announces NASCAR Debut
Los Angeles Angels breakout star Shohei Ohtani apparently isn’t content with being one of the most versatile, dynamic players the sport has seen since Babe Ruth. In a press conference held last Thursday at an Illinois pre-owned Toyota dealership, the league-leading pitcher and power hitter announced his intentions to begin training with Joe Gibbs Racing for the upcoming NASCAR...
The Chevy Equinox is Better than Ever!
If you’ve seen the 2022 Chevy Equinox, then you probably already know about a lot of the updated features on it. While this isn’t a new generation for Chevy’s oh-so-popular small SUV, they’ve given it a bit of a refresh this year with a wide range of new options and features. You know me, so you know I’m excited...
The Chevy Bolt Ev Is Going to Kill Us All
Friends, I’m here today with urgent news that will absolutely save your life and the lives of all of the people you love and care about. If you don’t read this article today, right now, you are literally killing everyone you’ve ever known through dangerous ignorance. If you’re like me, you’ve been watching the news and seeing these horrifying...
A Reasonable Comparison of Different Trucks
Now that the obligatory month of performative allyship is over, I can finally get back to writing about what’s truly important to me: just how gay is your truck? If you’re anything like me, before you head to your favorite used Ram truck dealership, you’re going to want to really think about which truck matches the gay values that...
