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I Watched a Man Eat a 2022 Ford Bronco (So You Don’t Have To)

Before we go any further, I want to be very clear about something: there’s nothing I won’t do for my readers. I am, above all other things, committed and dedicated to the fine men and women who devote themselves to following my work and tirelessly reading through the brilliance that I offer. As proof of this, I recently attended...

Jersey Shore’s Pauly D Living Out of a Kia EV6

A silver 2022 Kia EV6 is shown from the side after leaving a Kia EV6 dealer.
If you live in the Monmouth County area and thought you saw Pauly D a-la Jersey Shore fame gelling up his hair or perfecting his spray tan inside of a Kia EV6 recently, you probably thought you were hallucinating. But in fact, your eyes told the truth. Rumors have it that Pauly D (also known as DJ Pauly D...

Toyota Production Cutbacks Mean That There Can Be Only One Highlander Made in 2023

A white 2022 Toyota Highlander is shown from the front at an angle next to a Toyota symbol after leaving a Toyota Highlander dealer.
With the worldwide microchip shortage still wreaking havoc across the scope of the automotive industry, cutbacks have been made all over. For many manufacturers, this means limiting special features and not having the healthy and abundant production quotas that were prevalent in recent years. For customers looking to do some shopping at their local Toyota Highlander dealer, there was...

Five Treasures Found in Used Cars That You Won’t Believe!

A used chevy near you is shown from the rear with a treasure chest
There are many ways to find long-forgotten treasures in this world: some prefer diving into the lightless depths of the ocean to search for and plunder sunken vessels from the distant past. Others instead circle around rented storage units that have been abandoned or seized from owners unable to pay for them, picking at the carcasses of other people’s...

Which Is Better: Toyota Highlander or Honda Pilot?

The battle of the 2022 Toyota Highlander vs 2022 Honda Pilot is shown.
If you’re shopping for a vehicle, then you have a lot of decisions to make and a wide range of options to choose from. It can be difficult, therefore, to consider everything available to you, comparing all of their different features and specs, in order to find the one that perfectly meets your needs. Even if you narrow down...

Nissan Frontier Get’s New F1-Inspired Face Filters

A digital face mesh is shown during a 2022 Nissan Frontier vs 2022 Toyota Tacoma comparison.
Drivers deciding between the 2022 Nissan Frontier vs 2022 Toyota Tacoma will have a new factor to consider as the two automakers race to cater to an emerging market for Formula 1-inspired features. For much of its history, Formula 1 (F1) racing’s popularity in the US has taken a backseat to more established leagues like NASCAR and the IndyCar...

Local Man Trades in First Born Child for 2023 Chevy Blazer

A grey 2022 Chevy Blazer is shown from the side during a new GM purchase program.
Chicago, IL – With so many new makes and models generating excitement for the upcoming model year and the worldwide microchip shortage limiting the production quotas of the major manufacturers, many consumers are scrambling to pre-order their vehicles far ahead of time. Among the vehicles that are generating excitement is the 2023 Chevy Blazer. As devotees of the bow-tie...

BMW Reveals More Than They Realize

The heated seat buttons of a BMW are shown.
If you’ve been paying attention to the world of automotive news lately, then you’ve no doubt heard a fair amount of kerfuffle over the fact that BMW has begun charging a subscription for certain features in their vehicles. Things like heated seats and steering wheels, as well as additional functionality like being able to use the safety-system cameras to...

GM to Sacrifice Human Children for Favorable Chevy Equinox Sales

A candle is shown near a certified pre-owned Equinox dealer.
In the 1973 film, The Wicker Man, a devout Christian policeman visits a remote location near Scotland. The island is inhabited by Pagans, who are looked upon as savage and barbaric. What follows is a clash of wills and beliefs, culminating in the alleged protagonist of the film being burned alive in a towering statue made of wicker. The...

First Shots Fired In the Second Civil War Amid Chevy Seceding From GM

Three GM brand emblems are shown during the battle between the 2022 Chevy Silverado 2500 HD vs 2022 GMC Sierra 2500 HD.
It appears a dark chapter in our nation’s automotive history is in the process of being written. Amid the fallout and shock of Roe v. Wade and the ongoing Russian invasion of Ukraine, a new conflict has emerged that promises to unleash tragedy and aggression across the scope of the entire nation. It all began a few months ago...

A String of Car Burglaries Are Being Linked to Bigfoot

A black and white photo of bigfoot is shown near a Minooka Nissan Dealer.
Waukegan, IL––As most of you are aware by now, this past summer was plagued by a series of car break-ins across Illinois. No neighborhood has been off limits for the perpetrators, as the mysterious assailant has targeted the cars of wealthy and middle-class areas. Fear has gripped many residents from Chicago to Springfield, as many dealerships have been working...

GMC Adds More Denali Trims Than Ever Before!

A close-up shows the wheel of a black 2022 GMC Yukon Denali.
The one thing I can always appreciate about the auto industry is that they know when to stop at a good thing. Sure, car companies will offer a dozen trims on a vehicle, but they know that once they create a high trim level that becomes recognizable and, dare I say, “iconic,” they should stop there and let it...

Michael Bay to Direct New Jeep Commercials

A Jeep Grand Cherokee and Wrangler are shown during a fiery Jeep Grand Cherokee for sale commercial.
Few directors are more polarizing than “explosion auteur” Michael Bay. To some, he’s a purveyor of joy whose work might lack artistic depth but provides the same kind of entertainment as a carnival ride. To others, he’s an idiotic hack. A person whose sexualization of actresses and continuous need to give live-action treatments to beloved animated shows only feeds...

Tire-Deflating Eco-Terrorists Could Face Unique Punishment

A closeup of a tire is shown after criminals deflated the tires of a used SUV for sale.
Those searching for a used SUV for sale can rest easy after a band of scofflaws has been put behind bars for a spree of property crimes that spanned the country. The group, known as the Tyre Extinguishers, made a name for themselves by targeting SUVs, citing the vehicle’s environmental impact as justification for the offense. Now a judge...

Truck Loan Forgiveness Program Calms Student Loan Anger

The presidential seal is shown in front of a blackboard that has "truck loan forgiveness written on it" during a 2022 Ford F-150 vs 2022 Chevy Silverado 1500 comparison.
Those debating between the 2022 Ford F-150 vs 2022 Chevy Silverado 1500 got a welcomed surprise this week with the announcement that the federal government will soon cancel any outstanding loans on pickup trucks bought within the last 10 years. It’s an unexpected move from the Biden Administration, which debuted the new program in response to the uproar surrounding...

Chevy Announces Exciting New Features for Police Vehicles

A 2023 Chevy Blazer EV PPV is shown.
It’s no secret that folks like you and me are only a small part of the customer base that provides income for massive corporations like General Motors (GM) and other auto manufacturers. A significant portion of their revenue comes from corporate and government contracts – they provide vehicles to the military, law enforcement, and other government agencies for amounts...

VW Dealerships Introduce New Programs to Attract Customers

The details of a new used Volkswagen dealership program are shown.
While the auto market is still thriving and new-car prices are higher than ever, that doesn’t stop some dealerships from innovating in new and exciting ways. Much of my time each week is spent talking to real customers and leaders in the industry to see every side of how vehicles are made, sold, and driven, but I also try...

The Chevy Equinox Proves the Earth Is Flat

A silver 2022 Chevy Equinox is shown on top of a flat earth after leaving an Equinox dealer.
While many regard the Equinox as a roomy compact crossover with agile handling and an impressive slate of infotainment features, those of us who haven’t had our brains softened by years of exposure to fluoridated water know the truth: the Chevy Equinox is just the latest in a long line of distractions from the globalist cabal that’s keeping you...

Rise in Dungeons & Dragons’ Popularity Sparks Interest in Nissan Rogue

A wizard is shown fighting a Nissan Rogue and a dragon after leaving a Nissan Rogue dealer.
One Nissan Rogue dealer is reporting an influx of new customers as the growing popularity of a certain tabletop game draws drivers to the brand. At first, Nissan dealer Chris Mizzoni was confused by the sudden influx of Dorito-stained buyers coming into the dealership to test drive the brand’s compact crossover SUV, but his teenage son quickly explained the...

Historian Confirms That There Were No Chevy Silverados During the 1500s

Research about the Chevy Silverado 1500 is shown.
For many drivers, workers, and tradesmen, the Chevy Silverado 1500 is the most reliable workhorse on the road. While many discuss the vehicle’s positive attributes, such as its various powertrains, towing capability, and ability to go the extra mile for consumers, one topic is conspicuously absent from many instances of discourse. We’re, of course, referring to the identifying number...