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Car Care Vol. 1: Changing Your Car Battery
Being able to change your battery and perform other car maintenance is something that everyone should be able to do, not only as a basic life skill but as a test of your fortitude and belief in a higher power. In order to change your car battery, first, grab it by the tail to get a firm hold on...
Ram Trucks: The Forgotten Generation
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Rutherfjord Von Gourdboddum, and tonight I’m going to share with you some insider information from within the auto industry. This is a story that very few people know, one that the industry doesn’t want you to hear, and that will undoubtedly change the way you view the world forever. Whether you’re looking for...
Afraid to Return to School, Teachers are Signing up in Droves to Work at Online Car Dealerships
With many elementary, middle school, and high school teachers afraid to return to school in the fall, lest they get the sniffles and recover in 3-5 days, many are quitting the teaching profession altogether and transitioning to a somewhat unconventional new industry: online car dealerships. The New York State Teachers Union has supported teachers' desire to stop doing real...
9 Things to Look for in a Used Ford
If you’ve been on the internet at all in the last decade – I assume you have since you’re here right now – then you’ve no doubt seen about a thousand “listicles” that present you with “X Things You Need to Know About Traditional Piano Tuning” or “X Ways to Seduce Your Neighbor’s Window Washer.” Well good news: I’m...
Blue Man Group Offended Over Term Bluetooth, to Sue Car Companies That Use the Technology
Blue Man Group, the famous musical and artistic performance group, sent shockwaves through the automotive industry this Wednesday. Believe it or not, they made an announcement that they will be suing car companies that use Bluetooth technology in their vehicles, like the 2021 Chevrolet Trailblazer and the 2020 Chevy Trax, citing the term “Bluetooth” as “offensive to people who...
What Ford Won’t Tell You about the Bronco Sport
The big moment has come and gone: Ford has finally released all of the details about the 2021 Ford Bronco Sport and its big brother, the standard Ford Bronco. It was a day of great celebration within the auto industry. Here, at last, was something people seemed to actually care about. Whether it was because Ford initially scheduled the...
Nothing I Say is True
Friends, I care very much about your time, your interests, and the needs and wants of your loved ones. I’m a generous and kind individual that has a real passion for the thoughts and concerns of others, which is why I have dedicated so much of my life to helping people I don’t know. I definitely want to make...
Introducing the All-New 2021 Chevy Tahoe Protest Edition
Anyone who knows anything about the auto industry knows that it’s a business in which heroes, true heroes, rise to the top, and those that would rely on corruption or greed sink into the quagmire of their own immorality. It’s an industry built upon hard work and determination, real grit, and all those other things you see in commercials...
The Greatest Disaster of Our Time!
Friends, it’s your old pal J. Jonah Von Gourdboddum here, and I’m coming to you today with alarming information. Information that other, so-called “news” outlets and biased, liberal-controlled media sites simply won’t share with you. No, they’re far too in bed with tire shops across this great nation of ours to want to open up your eyes to the...
Controversy Hits the 2020 Sedan Bowl
This year’s Sedan Bowl was set to be a divisive face-off between the 2020 Ford Fusion and the 2020 Chevy Malibu. A rapid red metallic Titanium Fusion was all set to gear up against a cajun red Premier Malibu in a red-hot race to the finish line. Both vehicles were tightly matched with similar horsepower (245-250) and torque (260-275...
