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Shopping for Cars: Used vs. Pre-Owned vs. CPO and More…

A woman is holding keys in front of a used car at a used Chevy dealer.
When done properly, shopping for a used vehicle should be a series of decisions and disappointments. This may seem simple enough, but if you head to a used Chevy dealer without being properly prepared for the jargon and industry nomenclature that you’re going to encounter, then you can be easily flummoxed or caught off-guard and end up buying something...

2020 was a Dumpster Fire; These Vehicles Weren’t

A man in a suit is holding car keys while standing in front of a dumpster that is on fire.
Up until a few short months into the year 2020, having a bad day consisted of the garbage bag splitting wide open on the living room floor as you were taking it out to the garage, discovering someone hacked your AOL email account, and finding a hair in your Mexican pizza from Taco Bell. And we are wondering, who...

BMW Joins Bitter Bidding Battle with Bugatti and Bentley for “Self-Cleaning Car” Patent

A hand is using a car's screen to select self-cleaning mode.
BMW is the latest luxury automaker to jump into the fight to acquire the rights to a patent for a self-cleaning car. This is the latest attempt by the builders of high-end cars and SUVs to set themselves apart from more mainstream brands like Chevrolet, Honda, and Ford. The luxury brands have felt the pressure in recent years as...

Gold Tooth Jeep is a Dealer You Can’t Refuse!

A man 's face with gold teeth is in front of a Jeep dealer in California.
The Golden State. The Land of Milk and Honey. The Place Where Every Teenager Wants to Go According to Music. California goes by many names thanks to its wild history and stunning natural beauty. From the redwood forests in the north and the mountains in the east to the beaches in the south and wildfire everywhere in between, there...

It’s Time To Rethink Cincinnati Marathons…Using Ford Trucks

A marathon runner is laying on the ground in front of a black Ford F-150 that left a Ford dealers in Cincinnati.
Americans have spoken. They don't want to throw their lives away, busting their knees every so often through the horrors of a marathon. Yes, they're good for raising awareness for certain illnesses and diseases, and, yes, they're good for helping charities, but that doesn't mean we can't make them more efficient. In fact, we can do away with the...

Former Prez Trump Enters Rehab For Twitter Addiction

Donald Trump is in front of annoyed people after getting his 2021 Ford Escape Hybrid.
It’s tiring running the country (…into the ground), and unfortunately, all that stress can sometimes lead to maladaptive coping behaviors. Leadership by tyranny on the Twitter platform has caused long-term mental and physical damage to Mr. Trump, our favorite former president. As he leaves the White House in a 2021 Ford Escape Hybrid donated by his last 17 loyal...

The 2020 Monoliths: Message and Miracle

A Ford plant worker is in front of the desert Monolith.
2020 was a year of interesting times. From plagues and protests to violence and elections, no matter where you looked, the world was an unsettled place. And yet, amidst all of this, something even stranger and more bizarre than we could’ve ever imagined emerged from the detritus and chaos: the monoliths. These metal objects stand some 3 meters in...

The Diesel Dispute: Chevy Silverado vs. Ram 1500

A side-by-side is shown of a white Silverado and a black Ram against a brick wall and neon 2021 sign after the 2021 Silverado diesel vs 2021 Ram 1500 diesel comparison.
Okay, so you're going to buy a diesel truck. Congratulations. Now you're going to wake up the neighbors at odd hours of the night and leave a trail of exhaust fumes as you drag race down the street. If you ain't first, you're last, amiright? Okay, okay... fine. Diesel trucks are good for more than impromptu street racing and...

Warlord’s Choice: The 2021 GMC Terrain

A warlord is shown standing in front of a comparison between the 2021 GMC Terrain vs 2021 Honda CR-V.
If you’re one of my usual readers, then you know one thing for certain: our world is headed apocalyptically toward becoming a hellish wasteland of violence and decay. Even if you’re not one of my readers, you probably know this simply by existing and looking around at what’s going on across this lovely planet of ours. So, I couldn’t...

COVID and Auto Industry Booming Together

A side-by-side is shown of a virus cell and Mary Barra with hearts floating over them.
One of the reasons romantic comedies are so popular is that, deep down, everyone enjoys a good love story. We all like to see two people come together, unlikely though it might be, and overcome all the odds – and frequent miscommunications – to find happiness with each other and come out the other side stronger than ever before....

Chevy Honors President Trump’s Service: Donates Special Edition “No Hard Feelings” Bolt

Donald Trump is shown standing in front of a mansion and a 2021 Chevy Bolt.
The outgoing administration seems hesitant to call the movers. Rumor has it the President is dreading civilian life and digging in his heels. The intrepid marketing professionals at Chevy applied their high emotional intelligence to this plight and came up with a consolation prize worthy of an outgoing president of Mr. Trump’s stature. Next week, at a ceremony to...

Chevy Dealerships Takes Drastic Measures Against COVID-19

A large roll of bubble wrap is shown in the showroom of a Chevy dealership.
We're all trying to do our part in the fight against COVID-19, and one Chevy dealership is taking it to the next level by ensuring no humans come into contact ever again. In their words, "We really feel this is the best option for both our employees and customers. Because if we're already preventing the COVID-19 spread, we might...

Fishmonger’s Buying Guide: Camaro vs. Mustang

A fishmonger holding a large fish is being handed a set of car keys.
I’ve received a number of requests for more in-depth reviews and explorations of what different vehicles have to offer, such as the 2021 Chevy Camaro vs 2021 Ford Mustang, which – given my expertise – is understandable. According to my most recent analytics, a surprising portion of my readership comes from the men and women that sell fish in...

Used Jeep Cherokee Key to Local Man’s New Year’s Resolutions

Hawks are surrounding a black used Jeep Cherokee that is parked in a park under a tree.
Local man Matthew Newman had big plans for his 2020 New Year's Resolutions, mainly those two big, classic ones: getting healthy and saving money. And he planned to do all of them in his used Jeep Cherokee. Newman had never had any luck sticking with resolutions of New Years' past, but in early 2020 he got a great deal...

2021 Ford F-150 Offer Lets Buyers Purchase Today, Pay Next Year if We Make It Past 2020

A blue 2021 Ford F-150 is towing an airstream trailer down the highway after leaving a Ford diesel truck dealer.
It would be an understatement to say that 2020 has been a year for the books. From life-devouring wildfires to friend-ending election brawls, our heads have been spinning for the entirety of this calendar year. Of course, we can’t forget the Great Pandemic of 2020 that has quite literally brought life as we know it to a screeching halt....

Biden Calls to Rejuvenate the Auto Industry

President-elect Joe Biden is about to get into a car while holding sacks of money while wearing mask and sunglasses.
Whether you voted for him or not, President-Elect Biden has big plans for the not-too-distant future for America, particularly in the realm of the economy. In this regard, his office could play a major part in getting the American auto industry back on track and help make numerous recoveries in this area. He’s particularly keen to see a renewed...

The Problem With Electric Vehicles

A Tesla has a car fire that is being put out by firefighters on the highway.
According to a recent report released by the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB), only about half of fire departments in this fair nation of ours are prepared for dealing with electric car fires. Don’t get me wrong: a fiery car sitting by the side of the road makes for a shockingly dynamic and dramatic apocalyptic scene in movies and...

Bravely Going Where No SUV Has Gone Before

A grey 2021 Ford Bronco Sport and 2021 Jeep Renegade in red are parked on dirt with black text that says 'the possibilities are relatively endless'.
The best thing about owning a compact SUV is all the wonderful things you are able to do. Not only can you climb up cliffs and mountains, thus fulfilling all of your adventuring whims, but you can also slip seamlessly between those two oversized trucks in the Costco parking lot, nevermind that parking cone you just drove over. Owning...

Title: Ford Partnership With The WHO On Vaccine Transportation Leaves Some Americans Dumbfounded

A close up is shown of multiple Covid-19 vaccine vials.
There has been a bit of Twitter drama since the WHO (World Health Organization) announced its partnership with automotive manufacturer Ford in an attempt to widely distribute COVID-19 vaccines across the United States. The new 2021 commercial vehicles in Ford’s lineup will come with refrigerated semi-trailers, which will make it easier to transport these vaccines, as they must be...

If the 2021 Honda Civic Were President

A red, a white, and a blue 2021 Honda Civic are at a US press conference podium.
We all know that if you're foreign-born you can't be President of the United States. So that kind of ruins the premise of an introspective piece like this, but let's just pretend for a second that the first section of Article Two of the U.S. Constitution was amended to allow foreign-made objects to become President. With that said, what...