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Louisville Dealerships Attempt to Force Automakers Into Unprecedented

Used cars in Louisville satire image
Lousiville, KY - Attention Kentuckians, if you’re shopping for used cars, Louisville dealerships are making a play to ‘change the game’ as to what options you might have available to you in the years to come. What is the common culture of the United States? If you think Patriotism is the answer, you’re fucking wrong. And if you’re offended by...

BREAKING: “Christmas” Creator Santa Claus Dead

Flaming car in back with reindeer, presents and a fireman in front
Santa Claus will not be coming to town in 2019. While we primarily focus on live auto news, The Lemon has received exclusive intel that Santa Claus, the creator of “Christmas,” has passed away. Mr. Claus was 1,469 years old. Shockingly, the jolly fat man did not pass away from old age nor diabetes. Rather, Mr. Claus passed away last...

Massachusetts Presidential Hopeful Turns Down Jeep Sponsorship

A white 2019 Jeep Grand Cherokee and a Politician - Satire
Cambridge, MA - While Fiat-Chrysler of America has claimed that no show of political partiality was intended in their recent offer to provide transportation for recently re-elected Massachusetts senator Elizabeth Warren, pundits from both sides of the aisle are in an uproar. And while we don’t want to get ahead of ourselves, the fact that they offered up a...

“Man Visits Dealership for Quick Lube, Promptly Arrested”

A man in a monkey mask is arrested at Uncle Jays Used Car Emporium
Depending on whether you’re a car aficionado or a degenerate money-spending sex hound, you may have a different interpretation of “quick lube” than others. Well, that’s the situation a Winchendon, Massachusetts man found himself in this week. Local Winchendon resident Richard D. Holder was arrested after an ordeal at a local car dealership, Uncle Jay’s Used Car Emporium. (Uncle Jay...

Women Vote Commercial Vans “Sexiest Vehicles on Earth”

Ryan Reynolds, the Rock and a mans ass crack in a dirty kitchen
The beauty of industrial or commercial vehicles is that, for the automotive and fitting industries, there is some expectation of job security. While economic ebbs and flows might affect the workload for contractors and service providers in all forms, the simple fact is that the need for such skilled laborers and technicians rarely seems to disappear completely. Even specialists...

Satanic Cult Diversifies, Opening RAM Dealership “For the Hell of It”

Satanic Pentagram over Ram truck, on black
Do you like Satanists? Whether or not you realize it, the answer is probably ‘yes’. Surprised? Most people are. Because a recent study shows that modern Satanists rival Roman Catholics in number, meaning that a good number of your friends, family and loved ones might actually worship the Dark Lord Baphomet. The difference is Satanists (unlike Christians, Vegans, Crossfitters...

NASCAR Feels the Need…the Need for WEED?!

A field of marijuana plants with the NASCAR logo above
Daytona Beach, FL - The phrase “Tires Blazin’” is about to take on a whole new meeting, as one of the most lucrative and high-profile professional sporting events in history is rumored to take on a new partner in the form of the fastest growing industry in the global economy. Forbes recently published some research data stating that the global...

Newly-Single Man in Search of Used Truck Specifically for the Hauling of Ass

A man poses for a used trucks for sale Tinder satire piece
Nashville, TN - Boundaries are a funny thing when it comes to Social Media. One might even argue that any sense of ‘limitation’ is further diminished with each and every day, especially by users who throw neutrality to the wind, posting content that is either targeted, eschews another user’s right to anonymity, or ripe for misinterpretation. And with more...

Masshole Drops “Trou’ and Gets Weird With Local Laws

Weathered United States flag with Massachusetts license place reading "masshole"
If you’re ever sitting at home, bored (probably with no pants on) and feel like falling down a rabbit-hole, do an online search for crazy state laws. You’ve probably heard some of them before, such as the fact that it’s illegal to sleep on a supermarket bread shelf in North Carolina. Or that you can’t take a lion to...

Parents Unite Against Chevy Sonic After Being Forced to Lie to Their Kids

Man lecturing teenage son, white 2019 Chevy Sonic to side
At the risk of using a cliched sentiment, parenting really is the most difficult job you could ever have. Aside from a handful of absolute douchebags out there, you don’t aim to raise the President of the United States, the scientist who will cure cancer or a future Nobel Prize winner.  No. Your only real job is to put...