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Is Alfa Romeo’s Newest Upgrade Package a Setback for Italian-Americans?

A waffle maker with mozzarella sticks inside a red Alpha Romeo interior
Cultural sensitivity: a slippery slope for sure as we approach 2020. While the #woke nature of today’s world appears to be transitioning us to a more inclusive and accepting society, it grows discouragingly less-accepting and less-inclusive when it comes to the dated sensibilities of past generations. At the risk of virtue signaling, I take great pride in the fact that...

Life is Tough. Wanna Fade Away? Have We Got the Car for You!

White 2019 Buick Envision with United States shaped flag divided and indecisive man
America has become polarized. While the events of recent years seem to exemplify the kind of partisan polarization that has become a defining influence upon our American culture, it’s hardly a recent development. And while the divide on fundamental values such as race, immigration, equality and the environment are often attributed to lack of alignment between the Republican and Democratic...

BMW and “Dad Jokes”? How Much More Proof Do You Need?

BMW Cincinnati dealership with child on lizard man's shoulders and wife in denial
Recently, Kyle, a longtime friend of mine purchased a 2018 BMW 3 Series Gran Turismo from BMW Cincinnati. Admittedly, the 3 Series is the most accessible BMW you can get your hands on, but it’s still a near-fifty thousand dollar investment. Eager to show off his new acquisition, he pulled in front of my house and beeped the horn,...

Chevy’s Bold Move to Breathe New Life into the Iconic Malibu

White 2019 Chevy Malibu and Malibu rum, mangos and glass in front of sunset
Detroit, MI - This past week, General Motors hosted representatives from the automotive press corps to announce a number of “fresh and innovative marketing campaigns, designed to embrace the evolving expectations of today’s diverse consumer base”. Seemingly a fancy way of saying, “We’re ready to try just about anything”, the new agenda appears to be the brain-child of Josh...

Ford Targets “Family Loyalty” with Redneck Modeling (Because “Cousins Love It”)

Mustached "redneck" looking at pictures of cousins incestuously
Usually, when one hears the phrase ‘Ford models’ it conjures thoughts of the diverse number of offerings served up by the automaker, be it in the form of class-leading F-Series trucks, the iconic Mustang or their wide array of cars, crossovers and SUVs. But following the release of a controversial new marketing campaign, the phrase has taken on an...

Douche-y Car Salesman Finds Love Amidst Hurricane

Car salesman taking selfie, Red 2018 Ford Mustang and Red 2018 Dodge Challenger, asian weather woman in background
Albany, NY - There’s an old Finnish saying about acquiring the right romantic partner, which says, “Oikean naisen kiinnipitämiseksi tarvitset kaksi ponia ja tuulen voimakas tuuli.” Loosely translated, it means, “To catch the right woman, you need two ponies and a stiff enough wind.” And while he isn’t of Finnish descent, an Albany NY used car salesman has become...

Chevy Trucks Become “Official Truck of Waste Water Treatment”

Man holding nose with foam number 2 hand in front of bursting sewage pipes
Winthrop, MA - We’re not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but it’s a running joke among Waste Water Treatment professionals that the industry is “the shit”. While it could be an enthusiastic endorsement of their vocation, the opportunities that it affords them and the manner in which it benefits their local communities, it could...

Volkswagen To Require Psychiatric Screening Prior to Purchase

Man laying on couch while psychiatrist woman writes diagnosis. Volkswagen logo on wall
In an unprecedented ruling, the United States Supreme Court has determined that (effective Jan 1, 2019) no persons under the age of 35 will be able to purchase a Volkswagen vehicle without undergoing stringent psychiatric evaluation. This controversial decision was reached in response to Volkswagen’s emissions scandal, and a number of recalls which has placed the safety of said...

First Unitarian Church of Dagobah Seeks to “Restore Balance to Bethesda, MD”

star wars satire and a yoda figure
Bethesda, MD - To an outsider, Bethesda MD probably seems like a pretty nice place to live. Located just northwest of D.C, it ranks among the United States’ most educated and highest earning towns. Unfortunately, the tenet that knowledge, wealth and influence breed corruption seems to have taken hold of the affluent community in recent years. Civic leaders, such...

Concerned Consumers: 4 Shoppers Traumatized By The 2018 Honda Ridgeline

4 Shoppers Traumatized By The 2018 Honda Ridgeline
Recently, we tried to determine the victor of the 2018 Ford F-150 vs 2018 Honda Ridgeline battle. It took us only a few minutes of researching specs to realize that the 2018 Honda Ridgeline truly sucked. But in an effort to help us understand what purchasers of this truck must be going through, we interviewed four shoppers traumatized by...