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Sushi and Porn: One Dealers Inventive New Way of Buying Back Used Hondas

A Honda emblem and text is shown flanked by sushi and a triple X being compared to Certified Pre-Owned Honda products.
ROCHESTER, NY - Owing to a lack of inventory, a local Certified Pre-Owned Honda dealer is offering a slew of unusual incentives to get people to sell their cars back to him so that he can sell them to other people. Mr. Hirohito Yamamoto, age 106 (but looks like he’s 53), explained his reasoning. “Honda just makes too good a...

Vote NO on Tacoma World!

A carnival is shown with a Toyota Tacoma in front of it near a Tacoma Volkswagen dealer.
TACOMA, WA - This is a PSA published on behalf of your local Tacoma Volkswagen dealer. Please be advised that the views expressed herein do not reflect the opinions or values held by this esteemed, completely, super serious, ultra-trusted news organization. You have been warned. Dear Fellow Tacoma Residents, We urge you, upon pain of death, to oppose the coming vote...

Thousands of Fiery Cars Float Adrift

A breaking news alert is shown showing a container ship on fire.
Writing about the auto industry is hard work. There are dozens of different makes and models to try to keep track of—not to mention yearly updates, all-new models being released, and major changes for new generations. I have to remember all of these things in order to do my job providing the kind of trustworthy information and hard-hitting journalism...

Biden Continues to Screw Us at the Pump

Joe Biden is shown in front of a sign for gas prices after allegedly infiltrating used car dealers.
Well, friends, ol’ Sleepy Joe is at it again, and you and I are the ones feeling the heat as gas prices go up, the auto industry falls apart, and our bank accounts dwindle. This is something you’ll see at the fuel pump, of course, but it’s going even further, and now Biden and his administration are infiltrating our...

The King Spotted at King of Prussia Kia Dealership

Elvis is shown standing outside of a King of Prussia Kia dealership.
King of Prussia, PA—It was last Thursday at Worthington Kia, a local Kia dealer, where a sighting of Elvis Presley was reported. While reports of the singer have been plentiful since his untimely passing in 1977, this might be the first time that the King of Rock and Roll was spotted at a car dealership, ironically in a city...

Emo Teen Deeply Traumatized That the Word “Chrysler” Has Nothing to Do With Shedding Tears

A Chrysler symbol is shown in front of an emo kid after he looked up '2022 Chrysler 300'.
It was a normal business day at Casper Chrysler. The lot opened up at its normal time, and the new shipment of 2022 Chrysler 300 models arrived to be placed on display in the hopes that consumers would be eager to test drive the new luxury automobile. Then, there was a disturbance in the front office that shook everyone...

Shady Car Salesman Offers Masterclass in Ripping Off Unsuspecting Buyers

A salesman is shown holding a clipboard while trying to convince you to sell your car.
“There’s a sucker born every minute.” While this phrase was coined well over a century ago, its spirit is alive and well in a masterclass being offered by Michael “Honest Mikey” Christopher. In an age where people can purchase cars from the comfort of their own home and manufacturers are subverting the world of shady businessmen with competitive Certified...

High Gas Prices Upend Trade-In Values

A close up shows the tachometer of a 2022 Nissan Murano with text stating 'high gas prices upend trade-in values.'
Each year millions of drivers trade in an older vehicle to finance their next purchase. It’s a useful system, allowing drivers to make room in their budget––and garage––for a new vehicle, but the process has been turned on its head as of late. Trade-in values reached an all-time high during the last few years as supply chain issues, and...

Stop Believing the Lies

A person i shown driving a car on the way to a car alignment near you.
Did your car fall out of line again? I’m not surprised. It seems that everywhere you look these days, you’ve got cars going all over the road, and I, for one, am sick of it. But have you ever stopped and thought, “why?” Why are so many cars having alignment issues? What’s the greater issue at the root of...

Return to Office Delayed as Workers Can’t Find Their Cars

A person is shown in between a two cars with their hands up as they search for their 2023 Chevy Blazer.
Working from home has become the new normal as of late, but as employees are encouraged to head back into the office, some are having a hard time actually getting there. It’s not the accelerated morning routine or rush hour traffic that has workers stymied, but rather, something much more practical: they can’t remember where they parked their cars....

Composer of Annoying Car Dealership Ad Jingles to Be Honored by Industry

A record player is shown from above after Tomball car dealerships nominate a musical composer for an award.
You might not know his name, but Tobias “earworm” Worthington has been a musical mainstay in the local area and an integral reason why nearby car dealerships are known to area residents. Worthington isn’t a star athlete, nor has he held any local political office—and he normally wouldn’t be mentioned in any conversation about the music industry, but his...

With Chips in Short Supply, Auto Industry Continues to Innovate

A puzzle is shown with a piece missing, through the hole is a microchip.
Friends, as I’m sure you already know, the infamous microchip shortage continues to march on into its second year. Despite the fact that some auto industry leaders assured us a year ago that it would pretty much blow over by the end of the year, we’re still watching car manufacturers try to figure out how to deal with this...

Power Wheels Offers Consumers Viable and Economic Options

The Power Wheels EV logo is shown on a red background after people searched 'used cars under $10k.'
Economic hardships have long been a tumultuous ordeal for the average consumer—especially when it comes to finding a reliable method of transportation that’s reasonably priced. With demand higher than ever—and a microchip shortage, finding used cars under $10k becomes comparable to finding a needle in the proverbial haystack. However, a solution has presented itself in a product that’s been with...

Jeep With “NFT” License Plate Keeps Getting Stolen

A grey 2022 Jeep Grand Cherokee WK is shown from the rear with a license plate that spells NFT.
Jerry Wilson was enjoying life behind the wheel of his new 2022 Jeep Grand Cherokee WK...then the thefts began. Everything was fine for the first couple of weeks, but as soon as Wilson started to settle in and start to really make the SUV his own, it began disappearing from his driveway during the night. Curiously, the thieves would...

5 Predictions About the Chevy Blazer EV

A crystal ball is shown in front of a splash of lava showing predictions about the 2023 Chevy Blazer EV.
Although there’s a fair amount of excitement about the 2023 Chevy Blazer, which is getting a nice update and refresh, I don’t care about that. Sure the restyled grille and front fascia look nice, and there are new colors available, but what I’m more interested in is the upcoming Chevy Blazer EV. Chevy’s been talking a big game about...

Great Ways to Save Money on Gas

Gas pumps are shown from the side with a piggy bank next to it.
As we navigate numerous worldwide crises and attempt to simply survive the daily nightmare that is modern existence, we’ve had the pleasure of recently enjoying all-time high prices for gas. Despite the fact that oil companies pretty much couldn’t give away gas only two years ago, even slight changes to the world economy and market were clear justification for...

Ford and Chevy Battle for Supremacy

The Ford and Chevy logos are shown above the 2022 Ford F-150 vs 2022 Chevy Silverado 1500.
For decades now, the big truck manufacturers have been fighting each other in an ever-growing arms race for top numbers. It only takes a quick look at advertising from Ford, GM, and Ram to see they’ve been battling with towing and payload capacities, horsepower, and torque. When you look at models like the 2022 Ford F-150 vs the 2022...

Nissan Introduces New Inflation-Proof Model

A red Nissan Rogue is shown from the front on a road next to water after leaving a Mahomet Nissan dealer.
With inflation hitting an almost 40-year high, a dollar isn't quite worth what it used to be. The effects of this unfortunate economic reality have been felt in every sector of the economy, but perhaps nowhere more than in the automotive market. This inflation, combined with a chronic shortage of the microchips used in countless consumer goods, has seen...

Lax Olympic Rules Open Up Competition to Trucks, SUVs, Tanks

An olympic starting line is shown with the olympics logo over it before the race between the 2022 Chevy Silverado 1500 and the 2022 Ford F-150
International athletic competitions could soon become unrecognizable as a controversial decision from the recent Winter Olympic games threatens to establish a new precedent in terms of who––and what––can compete at sport’s highest level. As the International Olympic Committee proves its willingness to toss aside established rules on even the flimsiest of pretenses, some competing countries are beginning to wonder...

Robot Sell Your Car

A robotic hand is shown reaching up and touching a 'sell my car' button in a constellation of data.
Editor’s Note: The following note was provided by the author with this article: “I’m sick of these assignments you keep sending me so I wrote a simple AI program to handle it for me. Enjoy the algorithm suckers!” We would like to preface the following by assuring our readers that we have not assigned this author any articles in...