The Nissan Rogue is Designed to Hot Box
We all remember the weird commercial for the Kia Soul with the hamsters that were definitely smoking weed right? The trauma that commercial caused permeated for years, across perfectly innocent potheads. Why the hamsters? Why a Kia? Were they even smoking weed, or is this a fever dream/hallucination? Well, all of that is besides the point. The point is...
This Truck Service Is Affordable, Efficient, and Definitely Not a Drug Front
Taking care of a truck can get expensive. If you're like me, you probably work your truck hard, and it is consequently in frequent need of a tune-up. I was getting tired of what a money pit my truck had become, so this most recent time I was looking into affordable Honda truck service, I was ready to try...
Dumb American Bewildered by the Intricacies of the Metric System
Burlington, ON––When the financial center at Burlington Motors receives visitors, it’s usually related to matters of car financing. After all, many people rely upon these essential services to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. But the other day, there was a visitor of a different sort, one who caused quite a stir when he burst through the office...
Tesla Disappoints
As a journalist, one of the most important things to me is clarity with my audience: providing you with a clear vision of what I do and what I stand for. It's with such clarity in mind that I must make a confession... What you see above was not the original title for this piece. No, the original title...
Auto Mechanic’s Mind Blown After Woman Demonstrates Reasonable Knowledge of Vehicles
DETROIT, MI — Expectations held about the knowledge of America's auto mechanics have always been relatively high, especially in recent years. After all, with so many advances in safety and driving assistance technology—which seems to increase each passing year—it's only natural that we expect the technicians working on our vehicles to demonstrate first-rate knowledge and expertise. And many of...
How to Behave at a Honda Dealership
There was a time when people carried themselves with a certain amount of dignity and class while doing business with a company. You see this when you look at photos of people flying on planes 60 years ago. Everyone is dressed nicely, men in suits and ladies in nice outfits, all behaving with the utmost decorum. These days, the...
Dominatrix Upset By Truck Advertisement Promising Ability to “Carry All Your Adult Toys”
Denver, CO - A recent advertisement from the Denver Outfitters tire center and truck dealership has caught the ire of a local dominatrix.
For those who live the rugged life of off-roading, any vehicle with a substantial towing and payload capacity has probably come through Denver Outfitters at one point or another. This small company takes great pride in the...
Ford Releases New Jock-Nerd Hybrid
Mixing the power of gasoline with the power of electricity has become old hat—and, besides, it's never really had much appeal for the kind of people who just want the biggest, baddest, most powerful truck they can possibly afford to buy. The hybrid F-150 may be all fine and well for the kale farmers in California, but a different...
[Reprinted From the Classifieds Section of Our Local Newspaper]
"Used Chevy Silverado for Sale."
I have a used Chevy Silverado for sale. It is a 2011 Silverado 1500 with a long bed and crew cab and has only 100,000 miles on it. It's in excellent condition and will be the perfect truck for the right buyer.
I have been using this truck for my mobile exotic dancer business, so there...
Four Things You Didn’t Know about the Chevy Trailblazer
Hey bestie. I love writing about cars. That’s why I’m here. You love reading about cars. That’s why you’re here. We love cars—car friends forever! What’s your favorite? Maybe a nice Chevy Trailblazer for sale? I’ll bet that’s one of your favorites, and I’ll bet I can tell you some things you don’t know about this legendary legend of...
Hot Car Review: All-New and Brilliant Innovation
Friends and readers, I take it upon myself to provide you with the latest, most up-to-date, live auto news and the real inside scoop on the auto industry. This is something I'm passionate about, and I take a great deal of pride in the work that I do, the letters of thanks I receive, and the remarkable number of...
Covered Wagon or Nissan Pathfinder
There’s a lot of talk out there about these modern vehicles called horseless carriages. Well, I am doubtful that the historical precedent of durability and featureset established by the covered wagon will ever be surpassed. Let’s take a closer look at some of the key features offered by these modern “alternatives” to the tried and true classic.
This company called...
Smoke Emerging from a Giant Pile of Tires Outside of GM Headquarters Turns White, Indicating the 2023 Chevy Silverado 1500 is Now For Sale.
Here at The Lemon, we’re proud of the journalistic integrity that we adhere to. And every so often, we live up to our namesake by “squeezing out” the stories that affect you and the automotive industry that you certainly won’t read anywhere else. And today, we’re witnessing a momentous event that we’re sure is going to incite much excitement...
2023 Chevy Colorado Earns GM Another “Made-up” Award
There are many criteria by which trucks can be judged: engine power and performance, towing and payload capacity, the fullness and girth of their bumpers... But in order to really judge and compare different trucks, it’s important to always consider the class one falls into; otherwise, you could look at a full-size model like the Ram 1500 and compare...
Man Makes Shocking Discovery About His GMC Sierra
As an intrepid automotive journalist, I receive a great deal of correspondence from my dedicated fans and readers. Recently, one particular letter caught my eye for the unusual nature of its subject matter and how clearly it demonstrated the mindset of many a car buyer out there. So greatly did it intrigue me that I reached out to my...
Science Watch: New Study Confirms Correlation Between Truck Size and Penis Size
It’s no secret the vehicle that a person drives often reflects different aspects of their personality. And while high-end sports cars are synonymous with those entering a midlife crisis and minivans were once the hallmark of someone who was family-oriented, a new medical study conducted by Harvard University has led to some recent news that many people have always...
Five Keys to Choosing the Right Online Car Seller
If you’re shopping for a car online, then you’ve made a good choice, and I’m proud of you for getting to this point on your own –– but your brain has taken you as far as it can. Now, you need me to pick up the withered husk of your cerebellum and carry you the next hundred feet to...
Harley-Davidson: The New Face of Severe Brain Damage (and “Crotch-Rot”?)
There’s no doubt that the year is going to be an exciting one for fans of Harley-Davidson. Especially with the 2022 Harley-Davidson Road King Special, which is still generating quite a bit of buzz here in early 2023. It’s seldom that we get to talk to a long-time Harley owner, but we got to do just that when we...
80’s Wrestling Icon Gets Steamy About the Ford Explorer
In recent years, former professional wrestler “The Iron Sheik” has gained a second career as a social media darling. Known for his unchained personality and unique use of the English language, which is usually laden with insults and profanity, he’s never dull in any podcast or interview. With the all-new 2023 Ford Explorer coming out, we reached out to...
New Evidence Confirms What We All Knew
Fast car = small penis. How’s that for an attention-grabbing opening line? My editor has been riding me lately about how I start so many of my articles with, “Rambling nonsense that makes yourself sound smarter than everyone else,” and how I, “Don’t work here anymore, stop sending us assignments. Please, for the love of god!” So here you...
