Ford Rebrands F-Series With Names Instead of Numerals; “Girth King” Tops Lineup

A black Ford F-250 and a white Ford F-650 with their new truck names.

DEARBORN, MI — Ford has announced a new naming convention for its flagship F-Series, eschewing the “integer plus fifty” scheme in favor of distinct titles, beginning with the 2025 model year. Ford hopes this will eliminate confusion around its pickups and their comparisons to the likes of Chevy’s Silverados and Ram’s Rams, which have a similar naming convention of “integer plus five-hundred.”

As it stands, the way the F-Series models are designated sees the integer in their names scaling up by one every time the model is scaled up in size and capabilities; for instance, the smallest of their full-size pickups, the light-duty F-150, is immediately followed by the heavy-duty F-250, then the more potent F-350, then the commercial-grade F-450, F-550, and F-650. The Silverado and Ram models scale in the same manner, from the light-duty Silverado 1500 and Ram 1500 to the heavy-duty Silverado 2500 and Ram 2500, then to the Silverado 3500 and Ram 3500.

Some prospective customers (in the market for a pickup truck yet unfamiliar with these naming conventions) have voiced their confusion about these models and the comparable models from rival automakers, saying these pickups seem too visually similar and yet too nominatively arbitrary to reasonably discern.

Customers have likewise voiced confusion about all kinds of models from other automakers, such as Kia’s Sorento, Seltos, and Sportage SUVs, Chevy’s Trax, Trailblazer, and Blazer SUVs, and the entire Buick lineup—the Envision, Envista, Enclave, and Encore GX—all being SUVs which not only sound the same but are nearly indistinguishable from one another beyond a distance of thirty feet.

Ford has acknowledged the confusion in their F-Series and thus now intends to give each model a distinct name, making it practically impossible to mistake one truck for another. This will be through a new naming convention that follows a similar scaling pattern, albeit with unique names; the scaling here will be in qualifying descriptors—adjectives and exclamations—of heightening intensity.

The light-duty F-150 will soon be simply called the “Ford Main Truck;” this should indicate to prospective shoppers that this is the starting point—the one they’re most likely to buy, being the one with everything the average truck owner will need and nothing unnecessary they’ll involuntarily be paying more for.

As for the Ford Main Truck’s heavy-duty successors, their new designations begin with the “Heavy-Duty” term being retitled “Dummy-Thicc,” with two C’s; instead of an “HD,” you’ll want to look for a “DT” somewhere in these models’ abbreviated titles. As for their individual names, the heavy-duty F-250 will soon be called the “Ford Dummy-Thicc Yass,” with two S’s, and the heavy-duty F-350 will be called the “Ford Dummy-Thicc Ooowee,” with three O’s and two E’s.

Of the commercial-grade F-Series, the F-450 will soon be called the “Ford Big Boy,” the F-550 will be the “Ford Daddy Dumper,” and the F-650 will be the “Ford Girth King.”
Jim Baumbick, the Vice President of Product Development Operations and Quality at the Ford Motor Company, insists this is an easier means of differentiating the models than the current method. We will have to wait until the 2025 model year lineup releases this coming September to be sure.

Via social media, Baumbick recently urged his contemporaries at Chevrolet (General Motors) and Ram to follow in his footsteps, saying, “Ford led the pack in creating the pickup truck; Ford led the pack in scaling the pickup truck; now Ford is leading the pack in branding the pickup truck. The balls are in your court.”

An account affiliated with Chevrolet replied, “We don’t see an issue with our current model names, and we have no intention of changing them—but thank you for the opportunity. You’re giving voice to the voiceless.”
Ram’s main account simply replied, “No.”


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