Area Resident Tries Desperately to Prove His Excitement About the 2023 Honda Pilot

A man is shown standing in front of a billboard for Tennessee and a silver 2023 Honda Pilot for sale.

COLUMBIA, TN — There’s no doubt that the SUV has been experiencing an overwhelming surge in popularity for the past several years. Many consider it the ideal vehicle for the family-oriented consumer, and it is continually proving to be more economical than a minivan.

Case in point is Tony Verde, a Columbia resident looking to get behind the wheel of a brand-new three-row SUV. He has recently expressed his interest in finding a Honda Pilot for sale.

“I’m looking forward to getting in the driver’s seat,” he told us. “The Honda Pilot is something to be very excited about! Honda is the best manufacturer in the automotive industry. What’s not to love about safety and style?”

According to friends and family, Verde isn’t fooling anyone.

“Tony is a really wonderful person,” his wife Michelle explains. “He works hard to provide, and I told him that we should get an SUV that’s affordable and looks good. He has his heart set on a Pilot, and now he’s trying desperately to convince himself and everyone around him that it’s the best thing since sliced bread… It’s really sad.”

Verde’s neighbors and co-workers agree with Michelle’s assessment.

“It’s all he’s been talking about for the past several weeks,” Rudy Callahan, Verde’s neighbor, told us. “He never showed any interest beforehand, and now it’s all he wants to talk about. I had him over the other night for a few beers, and all he wanted to talk about was the wide array of standard safety features and Honda’s impressive warranty coverage.

“It’s great seeing him so enthusiastic about his upcoming purchase, but he’s trying too hard to make it look like it’s a major life decision. He’s turned into a Honda poseur, trying to convince everyone around him that it’s the only vehicle that matters—and that it matters more than anything.”

Both Callahan and Michelle Verde attempted to hold an intervention. They confronted Tony and informed him they were very concerned about his obsession with the 2023 Honda Pilot. They told him it was toxic behavior, alienating his other friends and family.

Despite their efforts to convince him of his unhealthy fixation, Tony expressed complete denial and brushed off their concerns as nothing more than overthinking. According to Michelle, Tony then proceeded to pull out several press clippings and articles about the Honda Pilot, once again praising its features and attributes.

Michelle began to cry as she told us, “What’s happened to the man I married? He’s characteristically gentle, but I don’t know what would happen if I told him I wanted a Kia Sorento instead… He might ‘lose it.'”

Clinical psychologist Dr. Saul Dobson, Ph.D., told us that Tony’s condition is not new and has manifested itself in others across the country—all of whom are in the market for a new vehicle.

“It’s a condition known as Dissociative Vehicle Disorder, or DVD. This is where a person understands that the vehicle they really want is out of their price range or unobtainable for whatever reason. So, they fixate their attention on another vehicle and obsess over it in an unhealthy way.

“This is a subconscious effort to deceive themselves and those around them that the vehicle they must settle for is the only one that matters and that all others are inferior.

“Once they finalize their purchase, we’ve found, the symptoms subside until the purchase of a new vehicle becomes warranted.”

Dobson told us the condition might manifest itself in a number of ways, but it’s essentially harmless and can be treated with psychotherapy. He feels that Mr. Verde’s case will soon end once he purchases his coveted 2023 Honda Pilot.

Dobson wanted us to remind our readers that, if they know someone showing the early warning signs of DVD, they should contact a mental health professional and seek treatment immediately.


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