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THIS is the #1 Thing Men Look For in a Woman (& You’ll Never Believe It!)

Hand on cell phone swiping right on woman making weird face who brags about 2019 Toyota Rav4
“Consequence-Free Sex”. Isn’t that refreshing, in a world of clickbait articles? Leave it to The Lemon to cut right to the chase and give you the answer that you already know, leaving us to question why you would bother to open the article at all. That said, we can only assume you’re now wondering what the #2 Thing is that...

Ford Seatbelt Recall to Blame for Rise in Vigilante Crimefighters?

Crime fighter silhouettes and hand holding phone with instagram
Washington, D.C. - In an unprecedented show of bipartisan cooperation, Capitol Hill lawmakers joined together today, to discuss the recall of nearly 2 million Ford trucks. The reason for the recall? A defect in the design of the safety belts, capable of triggering deadly vehicle fires. Expected to cost the automaker as much as $140 million, it’s the latest...

GMC Terrain Named “Best Personality” of 2018 Graduating Class

White 2019 GMC Terrain in school hallway behind 4 students, one crying
At the risk of downplaying serious concerns, High School Superlatives can be a funny thing. Sometimes known as the “Class Oscars” the informal awards process is intended to highlight notable characteristics of the outgoing senior class. From “Most Likely to Succeed” to “Most Athletic”, schools around the country embrace such recognition as a means of setting the elite apart from...

Chevy Erects Their New Campaign (& Pfizer Throbs Rigidly with Anger)

Blue 2019 Chevy Camaro with baby boomer now and then pictures
Detroit, MI - The Lemon recently reported on GM’s highly-publicized acquisition of Josh Billings as their new creative marketing director. Garnering wide disdain for his attempt to cross-market the 2019 Chevy Malibu with Malibu Caribbean Rum (a move which many felt encouraged drinking and driving) Billings still had two other projects by which to prove himself in the eyes...

Use of GMC Terrain Banned by Undercover Narcotics Division

Teens buying drugs while badly disguised undercover agent radios for backup
Editor’s Note: To protect the innocent, and to preserve the integrity of pending police investigations, all names included in the following article have been altered. Manchester, NH - Meet Matt White. Despite the state-issued ID which sits in his wallet, bearing his visage and the same name and billing information as the assortment of debit and credit cards that accompany...

Colorado Proves That It’s WAY More Progressive Than You Ever Thought!

Bearded man with beard hugs smoking bear with Jeep tattoo in front of "welcome to Clolorado" sign and Love is Love rainbow barcode
Colorado Springs, CO - If lingering around an area Jeep Dealership Colorado Springs locals might be familiar with Brandon Parker. It’s worth noting that the prevalence of outdoor enthusiasts across the state of Colorado makes Jeep-brand vehicles overwhelmingly popular, especially the Wrangler in any and all forms. So, imagine how well-known a Jeep enthusiast must be in order to...

Automotive Marketing SNAFU Confuses Icelandic Farmer

A field of sheep and rams with a farmer on a laptop and Dodge Ram sign
Siglufjörður, Iceland - So you want to be a RAM dealer? Truth be told, becoming a franchised car dealership is an incredibly unique experience. Both time-consuming and expensive, the requirements vary greatly from state-to-state. But despite the plentiful challenges and significant financial risks, the rewards of helming a successful dealership (and even standing atop the regional chain) can be...

“(She Loves) My Tiny Penis” Hits No. 1 on Country Charts!

Lifted truck with truck accessories, man with guitar, woman on phone
Nashville, TN - Country Music is a funny thing. On the one hand, you have some of the finest songwriting and musicianship in history, depicting the plight of the rural American everyman. On the other hand, that somehow devolved into a weird combination of pandering lyrics, bedazzled denim, and songs about topics as trite as truck accessories. But just...

Religious Leaders “Picking Their Battles”

Priest pointing with biplane pulling Ford banner behind him
As we approach what will inevitably be another divisive and supercharged presidential race, the people of the United States continue to find themselves divided over the idea of ‘American Values’ and what those values are. Independence. Diversity. Equality. Individualism. Privacy. Informality. According to a recent analysis of immigration interviews, these are just some of the characteristics which our global...

Local Man Buys GMC Sierra “Based on Misunderstanding”

Black 2019 GMC Sierra 2500HD behind man wallowing in sadness
Gardner, MA - At a time when truck makers seem fixated on one-upping each other in regards to everything from weight reduction to standard technologies, it’s clear that no automaker is content to rest on their laurels, or surrender market share. Consider the bold plays made by industry-leaders Ford and Chevy, to position the F-150 and Silverado respectively as...