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People Are Charging Their Electric Vehicles at Starbucks

A silver 2023 Kia EV6 for sale is shown charging at a Starbucks.
Starbucks has traditionally had an issue with people buying one cup of coffee, and then hogging the wall outlets for their laptops and iPads for half a day. But recently, the coffee chain is finding that their outlets are occupied by a very different device, a vehicle. Because people can charge their Kia EV6 in a standard 110-volt three-prong...

New 2024 Chevy Trax Promises To Be “Blatantly Worse” Than 2022 Chevy Trax

A silver 2022 Chevy Trax is shown next to a dumpster fire during a 2024 Chevy Trax vs 2022 Chevy Trax comparison.
In a bizarre press announcement, Chevrolet has announced that their new 2024 Chevy Trax will be purposefully inferior to the 2022 model of the same line. "We know drivers are sick and tired of their cars improving every year," said Chevy CEO Mary Barra. "We decided to apply our classic Chevy innovation in reverse, and so the new 2024...

Four Signs That a Car Dealership Is Trying to Kill You

A car salesman is shown on a dealer lot next to a warning sign.
Allow me to paint you a picture: You want to buy a car for cheap, so you look online for folks selling their vehicles in your area. After a bit of searching, you find something that will work for you, contact the seller, agree on a price after a bit of back-and-forth, and everything seems good. You go to...

Chevy Blazes a Trail With Its Iconic SUV

A person of religion is shown on his knees praying to a Chevy badge.
If you’re looking for a Chevy Trailblazer for sale right now, then you might think you already know everything there is to know about this small SUV. Well then, why don’t you write this article if you’re so smart, huh? Go ahead and tell everyone about how Chevy has evolved this vehicle across several different names, including the original...

Chevy Introduces Three New Silverado Trims

A green futuristic Silverado 1500 for sale is shown from the front at an angle.
If you have even a passing interest in the auto industry, you already know there's a perpetual battle going on to see who can make the most powerful and hardest-working truck. In particular, the three major players in full-size trucks are the Ford F-150, the Ram 1500, and the Chevy Silverado 1500. Each year, these three models vie for...

Area Resident Tries Desperately to Prove His Excitement About the 2023 Honda Pilot

A man is shown standing in front of a billboard for Tennessee and a silver 2023 Honda Pilot for sale.
COLUMBIA, TN — There's no doubt that the SUV has been experiencing an overwhelming surge in popularity for the past several years. Many consider it the ideal vehicle for the family-oriented consumer, and it is continually proving to be more economical than a minivan. Case in point is Tony Verde, a Columbia resident looking to get behind the wheel of...

How AI Accidentally Sent Me 2,500 Trucks

A woman is shown shocked after accidentally ordering 2500 Ram 2500 trucks for sale.
The emergence of AI technology has many people excited, some terrified, and some angry. I was never really sure where I stood on the issue until recently. See, I use an AI-driven app to make all sorts of purchases for my life. When I want to find a used inkjet printer for under $100 in my city, I just...

Five Most Shocking Features of the All-New Toyota Tacoma

A green 2024 Toyota Tacoma Trailhunter is shown from the front at an angle near a warning sign.
Ever since it first hit the road, the Toyota Tacoma has been one of the most popular trucks out there, particularly if you’re not interested in all of the size and capability of a full-size pickup. The Tacoma started its life as a compact model, but it’s been a midsize truck for many years now. Recently, Toyota announced the...

5 Reasons I’d Rather Live in a 2024 Buick Encore GX Avenir Than an Apartment

A person in a sleeping bag is shown in the trunk of a 2024 Buick Encore GX.
I don’t know if you’ve looked at the cost of rent in major cities lately, but if you want to live somewhere with nice materials and finishes, central heating, and decent storage, you need to make a bajillion dollars. You can check my math on that one. I recently saw a super cute little cardboard replica of a house,...

How Is the Nissan Frontier Different From the Honda Ridgeline?

A picture of a white 2023 Honda Ridgeline and a white 2023 Nissan Frontier are shown side by side during a 2023 Nissan Frontier vs 2023 Honda Ridgeline comparison.
Great question, I’m so glad you asked. For one thing, I was already going to answer this question so whether you asked it or not. The information was going to spew forth from me into the formless ether of the Internet. And for another thing, it really is worth your time to consider the 2023 Nissan Frontier vs 2023...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Accuses Toyota of Attempting to Undermine American Infrastructure

Marjorie Taylor Greene is shown in front of a dealer that has a Toyota RAV4 for sale.
WASHINGTON, DC — To say the past few years have been a tumultuous period for American politics would certainly be an understatement. Our political division as its widest since the Reagan Administration, and even following America's flirtation with fascism and an attempted insurrection, the road to becoming united once again is long, perilous, and becoming more of an impossibility. No...

True Patriots Show Patriotism via Patriotic Patriotism!

Someone holding an American flag is shown being handed keys.
Friends, as you know, it’s Independence Day, the Fourth of July, when Jesus Christ delivered the Declaration of Independence to America some 247 years ago! Ever since that sacred event, true and real patriotic Americans have been celebrating the only ways that are proper: cooking and eating outdoors, shooting guns, blowing shit up, and buying cars! If you don’t...

Three of the Most Exciting Trails for the Jeep Wrangler

A humvee is shown being swarmed by pterodactyls near a Jeep Wrangler dealer.
In the auto industry, there is nothing quite like the remarkable freedom afforded by the Jeep Wrangler. Ford would like to pretend that the Bronco provides some stiff competition, but really, it’s not even close. Whether you’re planning on heading to your nearest Jeep Wrangler dealer, or you’re just sitting in the waiting room of your doctor’s office and...

Three Secrets Chevy Won’t Tell You About the 2023 Traverse

A red 2023 Chevy Traverse is shown on the highway to hell being held up by a pig with a large shadowy figure in the background.
Friends, as you know, I'm here to peel back the yellowed skin of the auto industry and reveal to you the hidden truths of its steaming innards. I hold myself to the highest standards of journalistic integrity, which means I live to provide you with facts that other so-called journalists are too afraid to tell you about. Take the...

One Man’s Brave Journey

A customer is shown shaking a salesman's hand after buying a 2023 Honda CR-V Hybrid.
“I bought a Honda CR-V, and now I can’t stop graining on that wood!” These are the words that captured my attention when I read them in an email I received. Yes, so great was the impact these words had upon me that I set down my bagel, took a slow drink of coffee, considered resuming my recently abandoned...

Chevy Dealers Replacing Salespeople With AI

A woman is shown holding an evil Clippy at a Chevy Silverado 1500 dealer.
In case you've missed the news, artificial intelligence (AI) is being employed to disrupt every industry. New programs are released almost constantly, pushing the envelope of what computer software can do. Not content with only replacing artists, writers, and research scientists, these exciting new AI programs are also coming to a Chevy Silverado 1500 dealer near you, superseding the...

Three Ways to Profit off the Lack of EV Charging Stations

An electric changer is shown after searching car sales.
Sitting here atop a mountain and looking out over the vast stretches of wilderness surrounding this bunker of mine, something is clear to me. More electric vehicles (EVs) are hitting the road here in America, but we lack the infrastructure to keep up with them. Am I saying this based purely on what I can see around me? No,...

Magician David Blaine Locks Himself Inside a Ford Escape

A magician is shown throwing cars in front of a Ford Escape for sale.
While they might seem like complete opposites from one another, the automobile industry and those who are known as magicians and illusionists aren’t too different from one another. Both are quite remarkable and have captured the public’s imagination. Year after year, we continue to be fascinated with the individual feats they perform. And while there are makes and models...

Wiccan Chevy Driver Finds Creative Workaround for Seasonal Ritual

A flaming cow skeleton with a Chevy Logo is shown after searching Chevy Equinox for sale.
Crystal Moon, leader of a Wiccan coven outside Los Angeles, considers herself "in tune" with the passage of time. From dances during the summer solstice to PSL pilgrimages during the autumnal equinox, she always leads her coven in activities that align with the changing seasons. But when it came to the spring equinox this year, she let the group's...

Opinion: Electricity Is NOT Your Friend!

An apocalyptic scene is shown after a family looks at a Kia EV9 for sale.
Hey freedom lovers, Pat the Patriot here. I've been thinking... We all have to do our part to keep God's house green—I get that; that's why I planted a tree last year. But, you know, there's a limit to what we HAVE to do, and what we should be SUBJECT to. I visited my sister's husband's workplace the other day,...