Automotive Writer Has Emotional Breakdown After Being Bombarded With Vehicle Ads

A man is shown overwhelmed while searching for 2023 Chevy Silverado vs 2023 Toyota Tundra online.

BOSTON, Mass. — For much of the vehicle-buying public, the information they’re presented about new models comes from freelance writers contracted by the automotive industry. They work hard to present this information in a way that excites and interests the average consumer.

But the pressure has been building for Jermaine Richter, who writes close to forty articles a month, and he admits he’s at his wit’s end. “I was planning on writing an informative piece about the 2023 Chevy Silverado vs 2023 Toyota Tundra,” Richter told us, “but the toil has finally started to make me crack.”

“I was sitting in my apartment watching Law & Order the other day when a commercial for the 2023 Nissan Rogue came on the screen. I had literally JUST written about it a few days earlier. My job requires a lot of research, and the Google algorithm thinks that I must be desperately in need of a new car, so I’m continually being targeted by ads for vehicles I’ve written about—and I don’t even drive.”

Richter, 40, is a resident of Boston and describes himself as a film critic and music journalist. He took a job writing freelance content for an automotive marketing company a little over a year ago.

“I like challenging myself,” Richter stated. “But now it seems I can’t go anywhere without noticing the makes and models that I’ve written content for… I think I know enough about the Chevy Silverado 1500 to open up my own dealership.”

We found it interesting that Richter, who hasn’t driven for well over a decade, would spend his time writing automotive content.

“I like a challenge… even though I spend more time looking up specs and press releases than anything else, it seems. Hell, I think I’ve visited Car & Driver Magazine more times than Pornhub at this point.”

Richter described the ordeal of seeing ads for vehicles he’s written about as nerve-racking and frustrating. “I don’t know who made some of these ad campaigns, but none of them are really informative; they come across as snake oil advertisements… While I understand why someone with a family would want a Chevy Equinox, it looks like a box of tampons on four wheels.”

“I sometimes feel like my life is becoming like Office Space, you know? I can’t escape my primary means of income, no matter what I do. Even when I’m sitting here listening to ‘Wheels of Steel’ by Saxon, I just think about my next deadline—and then I wonder how in the hell I’m going to make a Mitsubishi seem like a good and practical purchase. I don’t know anyone who drives a Mitsubishi. I don’t know anybody who wants to.”

We could certainly feel for Richter’s ordeal. It must be frustrating when you’re constantly reminded of your occupational duties, even when you’re off the clock.

We inquired about the mental state of the average freelance writer. Richter said he enjoys his work, but constantly being around vehicles—since he lives in a city—and continually being bombarded with ads for vehicles has begun to wear on him. “I suppose I just have to wait and see when my sanity finally breaks down. Maybe tomorrow.”

Richter says he’s not alone in this ordeal. “My editor told me she can now identify vehicles just by their headlights. Once you’re a part of this industry, it just happens, I suppose; you become possessed by the gods of horsepower, and they grab you and never let go.”

Richter said he’s doing his best to endure his existence, and he asks for the thoughts and prayers of everyone reading that he doesn’t start projectile vomiting and spinning his head around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.


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