Coventry, UK – Iconic British automakers Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) have had their fair share of headaches to deal with as of late. A weak presence in China and dwindling appeal have (most recently) equated to 12% dip in sales for the month of May, the most recent example of a downward trend that JLR seems unable to break.
But it would appear that Jaguar Land Rover might have one (or more) tricks up their sleeve. While distracting the automotive press community with talks of job cuts and restructuring, they might have been secretly asserting themselves as a leader in sustainability. That speculation comes from leaked (and yet-to-be verified) documents regarding the development of a top-secret new vehicle. A vehicle, that could be best described, as the ultimate throwing of shade by JLR at the struggling British government.
With several distinct political parties looking to replace British Prime Minister Theresa May in the seat of power, following her decision to step down, it goes without saying that general-elections voters have found themselves divided. The combination of Labour, Tory, Conservative, LibDem, Green, and Brexit Party alternatives (all in a relative dead-heat) seems to be blurring the lines of decisiveness, making the elections seem more akin to the aimless dog and pony show Brits had previously accused the U.S. elections of becoming. And at the heart of the political hand-wringing, sits Brexit.
For the benefit of those who might not be familiar with Brexit (the ‘Brangelina’ of global political movements), it refers to the planned withdrawal of the United Kingdom from the European Union. Initiated in mid-2016, following a referendum vote supported by 51.9% of British voters, Brexit was to have been completed by March of this year — and has now been extended to October for finalization. Whether or not it actually plays out will remain to be seen and – regardless of both right and left-facing support – will be heavily determined by the results of the election.
But, it would appear that JLR has run out of proverbial f*cks to give. At least that’s the indication based on their rumored development of a unique nitrogen-powered performance sedan, which they’ve referred to as (of all things) the Jaguar BRX-T.
These days, automakers such as General Motors and Volkswagen are declaring an all-electric automotive future while others (out of concern regarding battery supply) are favoring hydrogen fuel-cell technologies. Not Jaguar.
According to uncovered documents from a JLR engineer whose unverified identity has not been revealed, “The breathable atmosphere of Earth consists of approximately 78.09% nitrogen, making it an ideal source for renewable energy. Channeled through a modified intake system, the BRX-T utilizes the nitrogen content of oxygen to power the vehicle, while scrubbing it clean to be released back into the atmosphere chemically indifferent, albeit cleaner, than when it was first taken in.”
Gregev Fjord, engineer, and celebrated automotive guru consider the idea fascinating and a potential game-changer that could place Jaguar Land Rover in the lead, ahead of all other competitors in the race for sustainability. “Everyone’s talking about clean, renewable energy and – if this is true – Jaguar Land Rover might just be the only one with a truly winning formula.”
But according to Fjord, there’s just one flaw in the plan, “From the loose sketches I’ve seen, the process by which the nitrogen is returned clean is naturally accelerated by the presence of a .93% argon component. Unfortunately, atmospheric audits performed in recent years have proven argon to be a variable element in our breathable atmosphere. In some geographies, it exists at a naturally lower rate. In others, such as the UK, it’s all but absent, diminished by industrialism. That means that – despite being the most revolutionary vehicle ever made – the Jaguar BRX-T probably won’t work in England.”
Whether or not Great Britain leaves the European Union remains to be seen. But it also remains to be seen whether or not the aptly-named Jaguar BRX-T will leave Great Britain altogether, potentially disqualifying the nation from unprecedented financial gains.
We hear California’s nice (as long as you don’t have to actually interact with anyone…).
