Ground to air missile

You may think you know everything there is to know about Hyundai’s Santa Fe Sport. This smaller crossover SUV of the popular Santa Fe lineup has a lot going on under the hood and chassis. It’s the athlete of the family, capable of going off-road in style using a turbocharged four-cylinder engine and optional all-wheel drive. So yes, you may be familiar with the Sport’s basic specs and offerings, but there’s more to this SUV than meets the eye.

In fact, Hyundai has done a splendid job of keeping many of the “Easter eggs” it has put into the latest model a secret. Why? No one truly knows. When asked for comment, the secretive automotive manufacturer has failed to respond. At best, we have received vague comments from anonymous employees ranging from “It’s the trendy thing to do” to “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Regardless of the reasons, the truth remains: the Santa Fe Sport has a plethora of secret features and options you may happily discover should you choose to purchase this crossover SUV. Are the secrets worth it? Only you can ultimately decide, but to give you a better idea of what you may get, here is an overview of the best secret Easter eggs you can expect from the Santa Fe Sport this year.

Rocket Launchers

Yes, it’s the old cliché from any James Bond film. It is also highly illegal in most states. But all this hasn’t stopped Hyundai from mounting a pair of hidden, small rocket launchers behind the headlights of the Santa Fe Sport. The aiming sucks, sure, but it’s hard to argue with the reasoning behind having a couple weapons under the hood.

Traffic, for example, becomes a lot more bearable when you have some firepower at your fingertips. Is the car in front of you giving you a hassle? Give them something to think about with a small little missile up the tailpipe. Even if you don’t do any real damage, it will cause the opposing driver to take a step back and reconsider their life choices up to that point.

Be forewarned, maintaining an active supply of mini-missiles isn’t for everyone. The cost alone can be prohibitive to people who can barely afford the gas in their tank. As with most automotive features these days, these missiles are proprietary to Hyundai’s manufacturing process, so you can’t get them anywhere else but a Hyundai-approved supplier.

If you think you can handle these upkeep demands and know that you want an extra line of defense or offense of capabilities, the Sport might be just for you.


Hovercraft Capabilities

2018 is turning out to be the year of science-fiction upgrades. While other manufacturers have limited the number of futuristic upgrades in their vehicles to basic things like artificial intelligence and voice recognition, Hyundai is taking it a step further. Actually, in some ways, they’re taking a few steps back… to the future!

That’s right. Sitting behind each wheel, you will find a small, almost unnoticeable antigravity device that literally defies the laws of physics. Working in tandem with the other three units, each device has enough power to overcome the effects of gravity and lift the multi-ton chassis into the air. That means you not only get all-wheel-drive with the Santa Fe Sport, you also get all-wheel hovercraft capabilities.

Avoid traffic altogether by simply floating above everyone else. Go off-roading without ever touching the ground. The potential benefits are almost unlimited when you have the ability to say “not today” to Earth’s gravitational forces.


Built-in Coffee Maker

Compared to industry pushing technologies like headlight mounted rockets and anti-gravity devices, you might think that the inclusion of a simple coffee maker is a little mundane. If you don’t drink coffee, it is probably even a useless addition to you. But for the 99.9% of people out there who cannot function in society without their caffeinated liquid fuel, this hidden addition is a lifesaver.

Located discreetly under the front passenger dashboard, Hyundai has replaced the common glove compartment space with a full-fledged coffee and espresso machine. Using the same equipment you can find in the lobby of Lamborghini’s headquarters in Italy, this coffeemaker does it all without issue. Caffeinated, decaf, basic espresso, even those frothy little drink numbers with shapes like hearts and trees on top, you will find all of your coffee needs met with this addition.

Unfortunately, Hyundai has also allowed a bit of an oversight to occur. While you get the latest and greatest in a coffee maker, there isn’t any space for the additional accessories like cups, filters, and coffee beans. To store everything else, you’re going to have to sacrifice precious trunk or rear passenger space. Still, for those truly addicted to coffee or harder caffeinated substances, this is a small sacrifice to keep yourself functioning throughout the day.

A Mysterious Red Button

What hidden assortment of Easter eggs would be complete without a little mystery? Hyundai has decided to keep a little bit of the unknown alive by including a small red button in the center of the front console. What does it do? That is where the mystery lies.

The automotive manufacturer has remained quiet about the true purpose and function of this little button. That means we only have a flurry of theories and rumors to use. Some people believe it is a stereotypical red button that operates something like the SUV’s well-known self-destruct function. Others argue it is a placement holder for some future technology such as sub-spatial transportation or interdimensional communication.

This is all well and good, but we here at the Lemon have a slightly different theory. Given the sheer popularity of attention deficit toys like fidget spinners, we believe Hyundai has decided to cash in on this trend. What better way to keep yourself occupied while driving than with a clicky little red button that is always within reach? Like furiously clicking a pen to annoy your friends, this button is there to mesh away anytime you want at the detriment of passengers and nearby drivers alike.

Only time will tell what the true function of this button really is. All it takes is the first courageous Santa Fe Sport owner to press the button to find out.


The Tip of the Iceberg

This overview is just scratching the surface of what you can expect from the hidden features and Easter eggs of the Santa Fe Sport this year. Nothing else is confirmed or is as concrete as what we have presented, but there are a few things you can reasonably expect should you purchase this new vehicle.

From time traveling devices to hidden compartments for your secret unmentionables, the real truth behind the Santa Fe Sport is the mystery remains alive. There’s no better reason to buy any vehicle than to discover what really is under the veil of mystery. Now is the time to partake in this path of discovery by purchasing your very own 2018 Santa Fe Sport today. Don’t delay.


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