David Duke Officially Endorses the Chevy Colorado

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David Duke is shown behind a blue 2022 Chevy Colorado and a black 2022 Nissan Frontier after someone searched '2022 Nissan Frontier vs 2022 Chevy Colorado'.

A recent contest between the Chevy Colorado and Nissan Frontier has been heating up in the polls. Not surprisingly, the gap between the two has spoken to the ever-growing divide between the left and right factions that exist in America. While two vehicles having their various attributes and advantages compared to one another is certainly nothing new, the story of the 2022 Nissan Frontier vs 2022 Chevy Colorado has attracted the attention of an unlikely source, former Grand Wizard of the Knights of the KKK, David Duke.

One of the most controversial figures ever to emerge in American politics, Duke has entered the spotlight once again, quite possibly the biggest surprise since his election to the Louisiana House of Representatives in 1989. Duke’s endorsement of the Chevy Colorado seems strange to some, but in a recent statement issued by a spokesman for Duke, the far-right political figure made his intentions quite clear.

“I’ve been warning people in this country for years that a takeover from the ZOG (Zionist Occupied Government) was due to happen at any moment. While I always assumed that the takeover would come by means of overt control of our civil liberties and the abolishment of our individual freedoms, I never thought I’d see that day where the takeover would take the form of a pickup truck.” As the press statement continues, Duke cited cultural appropriation of American terminology that had been used to sell a variety of automobiles for years.

“It’s right there in the title; think about it, the Nissan Frontier. Frontier is a word that resonates deeply with anyone living in the United States. We tamed the wild frontier, took it back from the savage Indian, and now Nissan plans on using these clever terms to fool people into buying their vehicle, not one made in America. Tahoe, Ranger, Silverado, Maverick, and the Colorado: all vehicles made by American companies that properly represent our American values…the fact that the Nissan Frontier only has one available engine is a dead giveaway that the bolshevik menace is slowly gaining a foothold in this conflict. They want to strip freedom from us, which is why they only have one engine to offer, no variety, no chance to upgrade.”

Duke’s statement concluded with a call to arms: “I’ve decided to pledge my endorsement to the 2022 Chevy Colorado. I know Chevy will make trucks great again. We need to do our part to make sure our way of life is kept American and free of outside forces plotting against us.” Duke’s words haven’t exactly fallen on deaf ears; Pat the Patriot, a conservative blogger who has declared war on the steadily growing popularity of trucks that run on electricity, praised what he refers to as “Duke’s unrepentant honesty.”

“I was suspicious when the communists began infiltrating American brands and replacing the gas-powered engines with electrical ones. Biden and his cronies are complacent with the takeover that’s been happening right in front of us…what’s next? A rainbow-colored line of Jeep Grand Cherokees? Not on my watch!” When asked about Duke’s recent endorsement of the Colorado, and the fact that Nissan Frontier was, much like the competing Chevy, he staunchly defended Duke’s statement and motivations. “This is how it starts…by adopting the name ‘Frontier’; the communists are now banging on our door. Those trucks are nothing but wolves in sheep’s clothing. And they won’t stop at eating our grandmothers; they’ll take over the entire industry and force us all to drive electric vehicles. I stand with David Duke. He’s a patriot who’s trying to do his duty and warn us about the hostile takeover that’s already begun.”

We reached out to Chevy for their thoughts on the matter, to which a statement was sent to us that read: “Who? Oh, that guy.” We’ll keep you updated more on this story as it develops.

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