In recent years, we have seen a heavy push towards weight reduction in all vehicles, from the economical crossover SUV’s like the soon-to-be-reintroduced Ford Bronco to such all-purpose trucks as the 2018 Chevy Silverado 2500HD. Many of these advances are helping to improve fuel economy and power ratings, while engineered lightweight metals and alloys will help to preserve resources.
Such effort reflects the best interests of our society, as well as our evolving demands in terms of more sustainable transportation. With this in mind, it seems counterintuitive that so many young adults in urban landscapes are taking issue with the steps being taken by automakers. These youths, commonly known as ‘hipsters,’ fail to see the irony in their actions despite their natural proclivity towards irony.
Are you a ‘Hipster”? Not sure? Maybe it’s best if you watch this before you proceed.
Despite the positive influence of more sustainable automotive trends, the Hipster community seems to be taking issue with the changes. Why? Shouldn’t they be the biggest fans of an evolved and thoughtful approach to the manufacturing of vehicles? Surely, they must; even if they prefer to pedal their urban sidewalks atop their historically-accurate hand-built unicycle with parts sourced responsibly from non-culturally appropriated ethical circus families. Right?
Wrong. And here’s why.
By and large, the Hipster community applauded Ford when they pulled the trigger on reducing the weight of the iconic F-150. In doing so, they recognized all the benefits to be enjoyed as a result of such efforts. But then Chevy announced that they would be following suit, with their own unique take on weight reduction.
If there’s one thing Hipsters hate, it’s when something goes mainstream.
Which brings about a major dilemma…will the automotive industry be able to survive a hipster boycott? Fortunately, the answer is yes. Why? Because hipsters make up approximately 4.1% of auto sales, at best, and are the exclusive market for the growing number of eco-friendly subcompact, compact and coupe hybrids and EVs.
First of all, no-one cares if a hipster decides that they’re not going to buy a Chevy Silverado. Secondly, it’s a well-known fact that all eco-friendly vehicles are networked with an “Auto Destruct” device, controlled centrally in Detroit by a Vietnam vet named Jack. It’s really only a matter of time until Jack kills every last one of them, crushing the vegan movement and crippling the locally-sourced farm-to-table skinny-jean industry.
That said, if you’re worried that you’re a Hipster, we hope you’re enjoying your Chevy Spark. Just know that Jack is watching you…and he hates your stupid hat, and ironic beard.
