If there’s one thing I know, it’s this: the Venn diagram depicting truck enthusiasts and tabletop gamers is a perfect circle! We’ve all played games like “Lost Journey to Detroit” and the classic “Secret Caverns of Ford” (now, sadly, out of print), and had a lot of fun. But if you’re anything like me (and let’s hope you’re not), then what you really want to be able to do is utilize the current lineup of impressive Chevy trucks in a seamless way the next time you and your crew get together to play some Dungeons & Dragons.
And yet, I’ve not found a single resource showing how to properly incorporate these vehicles into the current 5e ruleset for the game. I’m not talking about some kind of ridiculous use of Chevy trucks as “mounts” in a campaign set in our modern world, no, that’s dumb. If you want to use a truck in your campaign as a vehicle that your players can drive in, then just figure out how much it will cost them and let them go nuts. Anyone can do that.
No, no. What I’m talking about is something far more robust and useful. I’m talking about utilizing the modern lineup of Chevy trucks as monsters for your players to battle against!
Step the First: Determining Stat Blocks
The first thing we need to be able to bring our Chevy trucks into a D&D campaign is a stat block for them as creatures. A stat block gives you all of the important information you need to know for a creature in order to use them in combat. This includes things like the creature’s size, its hit die and hit points, armor class, and other information. You’ll find information about how the creature can attack included with all of this info too, so you have everything you need.
To start with, we need to figure out the size rating for our trucks. In D&D, a medium-size creature is what most people would be, and it takes up a 5 ft. square of space. Obviously, our Chevy trucks are a bit bigger than that. A large creature takes up a 10 ft. square, which seems more reasonable. If you’re using a grid for your campaign, a truck would probably take up a 15 ft. by 5 ft. space––but for simplicity sake, we’ll call them “large.”
I’d say the rugged design of modern Chevy trucks means they all have natural armor, so they’ll have armor class ratings well above a standard 10. In terms of hit points, we know they are large, which means they use a d10 as their hit die, which gives us an average of 5.5hp per hit die that they have (which depends on their Challenge Rating or CR). Monster type is simple enough as these are clearly constructs.
In terms of their stats and bonuses, I think we can use the specs on these different Chevy trucks to inform these decisions. Torque can easily translate into Strength, while towing capacity gives us a good sense of their Constitution––they’ll probably have a low Dexterity since we’re looking at trucks here, not sports cars. As constructs, they’re going to have very low Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores, which is fine. No spell-casting trucks here (that’s another article).
In terms of the kinds of actions and attacks they can take, I have a few ideas, and we’ll be basing this mostly on the Gorgon: an iron-covered bull that tramples and charges into battle. We’ll also use some of the info from an Iron Golem for good measure because that seems pretty close to what a Chevy truck would be like in battle.
Step the Second: The Chevy Lineup
Now, with all of this in mind, let’s see how this all shakes out, shall we?
The Chevy Colorado
- Armor Class: 13 (natural armor)
- Hit Points: 48 (8d10+3)
- Speed: 90 ft.
- STR: 15 (+2; up to 369 lb-ft of torque)
- DEX: 12 (+1)
- CON: 16 (+3; 7,700 lb max towing)
- Damage Resistance: poison, psychic
- Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
- Challenge: 2 (450xp)
- Trampling Charge: If the Chevy Colorado moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with a slam attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 14 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the Colorado can make one slam attack against it as a bonus action.
- Actions:
- Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d8+2) bludgeoning damage.
The Chevy Silverado
- Armor Class: 16 (natural armor)
- Hit Points: 71 (12d10+5)
- Speed: 90 ft.
- STR: 21 (+5; up to 460 lb-ft of torque)
- DEX: 9 (-1)
- CON: 21 (+5; 13,400 lb max towing)
- Damage Resistance: poison, psychic
- Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
- Challenge: 5 (1,800xp)
- Trampling Charge: If the Chevy Silverado moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with a slam attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 16 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the Silverado can make one slam attack against it as a bonus action.
- Actions:
- Multiattack. The Chevy Silverado makes two slam attacks.
- Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 18 (3d8+5) bludgeoning damage.
The Chevy Silverado HD Series
- Armor Class: 18 (natural armor)
- Hit Points: 107 (18d10+8)
- Speed: 90 ft.
- STR: 27 (+8; up to 910 lb-ft of torque)
- DEX: 9 (-1)
- CON: 27 (+8; 35,500 lb max towing)
- Damage Immunities: poison, psychic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from non-magical attacks not made with adamantine weapons
- Condition Immunities: charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned
- Challenge: 10 (5,900xp)
- Trampling Charge: If the Chevy Silverado HD moves at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hits it with a slam attack on the same turn, that target must succeed on a DC 22 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, the Silverado HD can make one slam attack against it as a bonus action.
- Actions:
- Multiattack. The Chevy Silverado HD makes two slam attacks.
- Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 26 (4d8+8) bludgeoning damage.
Step the Third: The Breath of Life
So, now what? Now go and have some fun. Imagine the look of surprise on your players’ faces when they turn the corner of the ancient mummy-king’s secret temple, expecting to encounter a giant toad or perhaps a hook horror, and instead, they’re face to grille with a few thousand pounds of American steel! Just remember to really bring these Chevy trucks to life.
That means having them react and behave naturally. They should open up an encounter with a Trampling Charge attack and really never let up. Because if Chevy trucks are anything, they’re unstoppable juggernauts of relentless destructive power brought to life through arcane rituals and long-lost magic.
Editor’s Note: We used the Chevy Silverado HD in our most recent campaign, and our players were definitely surprised. Although the writer was non-specific, we think the stat block presented here was for the 3500HD, so tone it down a little if you prefer to hit your players with a 2500HD. Also, any of these stat blocks can very easily be converted into a vampire lord, which was unexpected and delightful. Thank you.
