If you’re in search of No Credit Car Loans but are having no luck, it might be in your best interest to volunteer for one particular campaign in general…and no, we’re not talking about Bernie Sanders.
With another presidential race upon us, we now find ourselves perpetually exposed to the kind of conflicts, uncertainty, and general ugliness that comes as a result of polarization. And while the canvas of our culture seems to be painted by the farthest reaches of both the right and left, the honest truth is that most of us reside in the middle of the political spectrum, searching for reason and rational discussion. Rarely does a candidate step up and present themselves as the proverbial ‘voice of reason.’ Many of us look to moderate-minded political pundits or humorous late-night TV personalities to fill that gap; but a recent poll shows that the spouses of candidates can often play a significant role, influencing voters in a more palatable manner.
Unless of course, you’re Dr. Jill Biden, wife of former vice-president, current Presidential candidate (and avid sniffer of hair) Joe Biden.
As recently reported in the Washington Post, Jill Biden recently challenged New Hampshire votes to view her husband in a different light, when comparing him to other Democratic candidates who might have earned their favor. “ I know that not all of you are committed to my husband, and I respect that. But I want you to think about your candidate, his or her electability, and who’s going to win this race.”
And while some have praised her comments as being both refreshing and reasonable, a recent leak seems to indicate that they might not be either.
In her autobiography, Where the Light Enters: Building a Family, Discovering Myself, Jill Biden recounts her early relationship with her husband, including the manner in which she convinced the then-widower (but still avid sniffer of hair) that they should be married. According to the author herself, she had told him, “I know that you might not be committed to the idea, and I respect that. But I want you to think about this argument, and who’s going to win.” And while the exchange was portrayed in a playful manner, it casts some doubt on Jill Biden’s overall credibility.
It was celebrity biographer Avi Schlesinger who first put two-and-two together. “I knew I had heard that statement somewhere before,” he explains. “Then I became curious as to whether or not this was some sort of recurring, habitual behavior. That’s when I dug deep and found some genuinely disturbing evidence.”
One such damning indictment came in the form of security camera footage from a Five Guys burger joint at National Place in Washington D.C. According to the footage, Jill Biden had once visited the establishment and was disappointed to learn that she’d have to pump her own ketchup. Confronting the employee at the front counter, she had demanded that someone pump her ketchup for her, stating (you guessed it), “You might not think it’s your job, and I respect that. But I want you to think about this, and who’s going to win.” Needless to say, the clerk pumped her ketchup for her, but could not be reached for comment because he was murdered three days later (presumably by the Clintons).
“Once I started looking, there were countless cases accounting for Jill Biden’s lack of credibility. For example, the Biden Foundation is designed to help the underprivileged and underserved. On multiple occasions, we’ve found car dealerships that were bullied by Jill Biden herself to secure financing for those with challenged credit. Even more troubling is the implication that she has used similar tactics to strong-arm hygiene and cosmetic companies to design shampoo fragrances around ‘her husband’s olfactory sensitivity’.”
Here at The Lemon, we believe that the moral of the story is “don’t listen to Jill Biden.” You might not be committed to the idea, and we respect that. But we want you to think about the President of the United States sniffing your kid’s head.