Mach-E Deliveries Expected Sometime Before Heat Death of Universe

0
704
A silver 2023 Ford Mustang is shown in front of a star.

Buying a new car is easy: you roll into a dealership, berate the first salesman you see for a solid 17 minutes until he’s a weeping mess who’ll agree to whatever price you want to pay, sign on the dotted line using your own pen to assert dominance, and then drive out of there in a beauty of a car that lets the world know just how impressive your penis is. At least, that’s how it’s done as long as you’re not trying to buy a 2023 Ford Mustang Mach-E––forget about the 2022 model; it’s over and done with, probably never existed. A 2023 model is your best bet at this point, and if you’re looking to order one, then I hope you’re the patient type because it’s going to be a while.

Current Estimates for New Orders

If you’re looking to buy a Ford Mustang Mach-E, I’ve got some bad news and some good news for you. The bad news is that you probably won’t find a 2022 model anywhere, and if you’re looking to order a 2023 model, then I hope you’re ready to wait awhile. The good news is that Ford will happily take your money and let you order one of these vehicles that you’ll get some time next year… hopefully.

At the moment, you can’t even order a 2023 Mach-E Select model due to “high demand and production constraints,” so forget about that one. If you’re interested in either the California Route 1 or the GT models of the Mach-E, then you’re looking at an estimated 18-22 weeks until it will be delivered. From where I’m sitting, that’s four and a half months, minimum, and potentially closer to six months before you’ll get a vehicle that costs well over $60,000. That’s assuming there aren’t any delays – good luck with that.

If you’re trying to save some money on the Premium trim, the current estimate is 18-30 weeks until delivery. The fact that it’s longer than the other two, despite having that “18” in there, really makes me think it will be on the back end of that estimate. If I’m using my abacus properly, you’re looking at up to seven and a half months before you see your $55k piece of machinery. Guess you’ll be having fun next summer?

What Ford Won’t Tell You

Of course, these are all estimates, and that’s assuming things go well at the ol’ Ford factory, which is certainly no guarantee these days. Ford is free to issue delay notifications as many times as they want before you get your vehicle––just ask people who ordered a Ford Bronco how long they were waiting. I have it on good authority that Ford recently lost all the keys for their new Mach-E models, and they’re searching desperately in every couch cushion they can find in hopes of figuring out where they dropped them. There’s no telling how long this will take…

Actual Delivery Times for the Mach-E

If you look closely at the paperwork you sign when ordering the Mustang Mach-E, you’ll find a disclaimer hidden away where you’re not likely to discover it. Buried in Section 17, Heading IV, Subheading 9, Paragraph 3, you’ll find the following: “Ford is under no obligation to deliver the vehicle under any timetable as established by three-dimensional beings. Guarantee of delivery prior to the heat death of the universe or retraction – see section on gnaB giB below – in accordance with all state and federal laws is hereby agreed to by the undersigned.” So at least you’ve got that going for you. You should get a few good miles out of it just before our sun expands and devours the world in about 5 billion years or so.

Editor’s Note: We’ve reached out to Ford for comment, and so far, they’ve only confirmed that they’ll definitely deliver 2023 Mach-E models for people prior to the heat death of the universe. While we could not lock down a more specific date, this still validates the content of this piece as accurate, and we’d like to see their lawyer try to say otherwise! Thank you.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here