Los Angeles CA – With the entire industry still abuzz over a month after the Los Angeles Auto Show came to a close, it goes without saying that there were some impressive reveals. Featuring the latest and greatest of ecologically-sustainable and self-driving technologies, many of the concepts were described as feeling exponentially more futuristic than any year in recent memory”. But while an understandable buzz surrounds these quantum leaps in both engineering and design, it wasn’t all red carpets, gold stars, blue ribbons and enthusiastic podcasting.
If you haven’t heard of “The In’eez” it stands to reason that you might not be that familiar with the LA Auto Show. Sponsored by west coast fast-food franchise IN-N-OUT BURGER, the In’eez are automotive industry awards which are presented in more laidback fashion. Categories have less to do with actual characteristics of a particular vehicle, and more to do with having fun at the expense of all automakers…to help blow off some steam. The best point of comparison might be the classic Celebrity Roasts.
Well, the In’eez were alive and well at this year’s LA Auto Show, and were hosted by none other than Hollywood’s most legendary f*cker of mothers, Samuel L. Jackson. In his opening monologue, he kept audiences chuckling obligatorily by rattling off some of his most famous scripted lines, modified to reflect the automotive industry. Examples would include…
- “Look, all brothers don’t drive Escalades, you racist motherf*cker!”
- “Say ‘Tesla’ again. Say ‘Tesla’ again, I dare you. I double-dare you, motherf*cker, say ‘Tesla’ one more g*ddamn time!”
- “Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these motherf*cking driver assistive features, one these motherf*cking crossovers!”
- “Where is my Supra, Sue? WHERE. IS. MY. SUPRA. SUE? You tell me where it is woman! It’s for the greater good!”
And in tribute to the recently deceased overseer of FCA
- “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who will attempt to badmouth the Hellcat and criticize the Trackhawk. And you will know my name is Sergio Marchonne when I lay my vengeance upon thee!”
Needless to say, the show was entertaining. But things got a little awkward when Ford execs were called up to the podium to accept the award for ‘Most Ironic Name for a Vehicle’, on behalf of the 2019 Ford Fiesta.
Introducing the award, Mr. Jackson said, “For forty-something years, Ford’s been throwing around the name Fiesta. I get it. Better make it sound like a m*therfuckin’ party, even if it’s only big enough for a m*therfuckin’ party of one. But it’s 2019, y’all. We know that Ford ain’t got no business, callin’ one of their vehicles the ‘Fiesta’. What the f*ck does Ford have to party about? That Chevy had to go public with firings and assembly plant closures first? M*therfucker! That’s cold, Ford. That’s cold. But hey, I get it. I really do. Let’s just keep throwing that party until you actually have to release your 2019 strategy, and let everyone know how many heads are gonna roll!”
A memorable moment for sure. Some say that you could have cut the tension in the air with a single motherf*cker. Frankly, we were too scared to try.
