There was a time, long ago when I was a younger man and in another country, when I considered myself something of a savvy merchant, a real wheeler and dealer within the auto industry. I made a habit of (and a fortune from) finding pre-owned vehicles that were in far better condition than they appeared, true diamonds in the rough, and buying them at incredibly low prices only to flip them for a tidy profit. Buying and selling used cars outside of the absurd dealership system was like a drug to me, and I chased that high from one end of the world to the other.
It’s only right, then, that now that I’ve gotten mine, I share some of my wisdom and secrets with you to help you amass a similar hoard of wealth. Such is my benevolent nature. So today, I’m going to take you through the three models that I’ve found, time and again, to be the absolute best used vehicles out there: one car, one SUV, and one truck. If you look for these, buy them at the low end, and sell them at the high, then you too can own a one-bedroom condo that smells ever so slightly of old soup and burnt garlic.
The Best Used Car: [Redacted]
I’m sure you are shocked to see this make and model, but I assure you this is real. In my opinion, the [this space intentionally left blank] is one of the finest sedans that was ever made by a [censored] car company. The legacy of quality and performance that it established hasn’t been matched in the decades since. You may have also been surprised to see the model year that I chose, but I assure you it’s the best this car ever was.
If you can find one of these in good condition, which isn’t too difficult, then it can make you quite a handsome profit. I liked to look for ones that were a little rough on the outside, since that’s a great bargaining point to use as you haggle for the best price. The engines were designed to take a beating, however, so even if it looks like it’s been a few miles longer than you’d like, you’ll have an excellent machine ready to sell.
The Best Used SUV: [Deleted]
While I know that modern crossovers are all the rage these days, this SUV continues to be the finest offering on the market. It’s no exaggeration to say that the [this space even more intentionally left blank] is one of the best vehicles ever made, full stop. It should come as no surprise that it’s also one of the best models you can choose when you’re looking to make a profit, or to just get a fantastic SUV to drive.
I personally own two of these, and I’ve never had issues with either of them. They’re known for unbeatable reliability, and if you can find the [beeeeep] trim that was introduced for this model year, then you’ll have something really special. Honestly, I can’t get enough of this SUV and I’m looking for another one right now. I just haven’t decided yet if I’ll flip it for a massive windfall, or keep it as a long-term investment.
The Best Used Truck: [Business, Nunya!]
I’ll keep this simple: This is the best pickup truck ever designed, engineered, and built. This isn’t just my opinion, either, as I’ve seen numerous surveys [link removed] and lengthy research papers [you don’t need to see the sources] on this subject that always come to the same conclusion. The [go away] is the finest truck that ever hit the road, and this model year, in particular, is a favorite of mine. If you can track one of these down, which has become more difficult the last couple of years, then you’ll have an amazing vehicle to use for your own enjoyment or flip for a huge profit.
So there you have it, three of the best used vehicles you can find. I know what you’re probably thinking, and let me just say that I understand your concerns and promise you that a couple scoops of ice cream will make everything better. That’s unrelated to what we’ve been looking at here today, just that if your thoughts are anything like mine, then you’re experiencing a lot of general background anxiety right now, and some ice cream would probably make things easier for you.
Editor’s Note: We would like to apologize for the horrendous condition of this article, and the embarrassing way that it has been published. It appears that one of our editors decided the information contained in it was too valuable, and they censored the useful content to keep it all for themselves. Why they did not simply change the models to other ones, rather than leaving this piece in an awful state, is a mystery we are yet to solve. Similarly, we have not solved the mystery of Ken’s password yet, so we can’t get onto his computer and change or take down this published piece. Please ignore it at your convenience.
