Arby’s Now Offering Vehicle Service at Select Locations After Merger With Toyota

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An Arbys Toyota Oil Change sign is shown next to food menu options.

2022 is more than halfway through, and shocking news keeps popping up that gauges our interest. In an age where corporations such as Amazon and Wal-Mart offer consumers an all-inclusive shopping experience, a new contender has entered the fold. It was announced earlier this week that American fast-food chain Arby’s and Japanese-based automobile manufacturer Toyota would merge. “This is the start of a new type of one-stop shopping,” industry insider Mark Scaglione told us when we spoke to him on a conference call yesterday. “Now someone can get a roast beef sandwich at the same time they’re getting a Toyota oil change for their Corolla.”

Three locations are currently under construction that will have facilities to accommodate both Toyota and Arby’s customers. This is an ambitious undertaking, but according to Miles Bischoff, a representative from Arby’s, a new menu is already in the beta-testing process. “Our goal is to offer items that combine the meat-flavored taste of Arby’s with the brand recognition that Toyota possesses among their diverse clientele.”

The new food items offered are still being developed; however, we were able to get our hands on a list of items on the menu and the automotive services offered alongside them. That’s right, the union of Arby’s and Toyota isn’t the only merger. To draw in the demographic of both vehicle owners and diners, the Toyota/Arby’s locations will now be selling both together. Some of the food and service options that will be available are:

  • The Supra Shake With A Side of Wheel Alignment….$ 15.99
    A chocolate shake to slurp on while your tires are checked and lined up properly.
  • The RAV4 Roast Beef Sandwich and Oil Change…$24.99
    Our juicy roast beef tastes just like the real thing, paired with a synthetic oil change.
  • The Prius Pastrami and Full Diagnostics Test Combo…$35.99
    Pastrami served up with a diagnostics evaluation. Our way of saying thank you for the purchase of one of our many EVs.

While this new method of combining fast food with automotive service is probably the most innovative maneuver we’ve seen from within the industry in quite some time, it’s already caused quite a friction from Randy Reynolds, an environmentalist who’s been taking the industry to task since the mid-1980s. “This maneuver is nothing more than an assault on the wellbeing of Earth by the fascist corporations intent on enslaving humanity and decimating its natural resources. What happens when a cook mixes up vegetable oil with motor oil? We won’t have 10 to 30 dead; we’ll have 10 to 30,000 people dead!” While many have dismissed Reynold’s concerns as nothing more than the ramblings from someone who once claimed that adaptive cruise control was a plot to enslave the human race and allow robots to overtake the Earth, a few people have come to agree with him.

Industry insider Mark Scaglione, for one, sees the legitimacy of Reynold’s concerns. “There’s always room for human error, no matter how foolproof anything involved with the industry is…I don’t think a fry cook could possibly not tell the difference between motor oil and vegetable oil, but anything’s possible.” We asked Scaglione if he had any further insight into the new merger between these two industry titans. “Toyota is one of the most innovative manufacturers on the planet…I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a whole fleet of cars powered by vegetable oil in the future. It would eliminate the possibility of human error, and it would eliminate costs by a considerable amount. We’ve got EVs, so the VOV (Vegetable Oil Vehicle) is the natural progression.”

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