Vehicle choice can say a lot about a person. Sure, it can speak to their budget, lifestyle (and sometimes even their sense of priority) but most of all, it speaks to their personality. With little effort, most of us can think of an example of someone whose vehicle is a perfect fit for their personality, while other pairings may not feel so…aligned.

With that in mind, it’s difficult to ignore the kind of aspirational car purchases that seem to signal anything from a mid-life crisis to someone planning to excel in general douchebaggery. Case in point, there are a certain percentage of people who purchase a Porsche out of a genuine appreciation for their dynamic performance engineering and distinctive styling. However, there are many who purchase a Porsche simply because they’re (i) desperately trying to recapture a lost sense of youth, or (ii) they’re a douchebag.

In all fairness, it can be hard to discern any one of these from another. While one might think that you could rely upon appearance, demeanor, profession, income or social status to differentiate between the enthusiast and the poseur, you’d be wrong. First of all, they all insist on pretentiously exaggerating the imaginary second syllable in ‘Porsche.’ And once they’re behind the wheel, well…they all look the same: uncomfortably squished into a low-driving position, trying desperately to look like part of them doesn’t regret their decision.

But recently the stereotype assigned to Porsche’s customer base was turned on its head.

It was just another January day at a dealership in Keene, NH when the staff noticed someone walking around a 2010 Porsche Cayenne that had occupied a space on their lot since it had been offered as a trade-in.

“We didn’t really think a lot about it, at first,” offered Junior Sales Associate, Chaz Lightfoot. “Usually people interested in a Porsche are looking for a 911 or the Panamera, you know, something that is instantly recognizable and scores immediate bragging rights. Cars like the Macan and the Cayenne just don’t have that immediate brand recognition, but they’re great for the higher-income PTO moms.”

But Brandon Parker of Ashby MA was no ‘higher-income PTO mom”. In fact, by all accounts, he existed entirely outside the stereotype of a Porsche customer. Ruggedly-clad in work boots, flannel button-down, and Jeep t-shirt, Mr. Parker sports a full (and non-hipster) beard that would appear more at home on a Middle Earth battlefield than an ironic Soho coffee shop.

“Honestly, we didn’t know what to make of him. I mean, if his beard was well-groomed and they were designer work boots, we would have assumed his interest was genuine right off the bat. But he just looked like he would have been more at home looking over our selection of AEV Jeeps. The tipping point was when we noticed his pants.”

The pants in question, although entirely mismatched with the rest of Mr. Parker’s ensemble, linked him to the kind of trendy leisurewear that one would expect of a PTO mom. “He was wearing designer sweatpants, with the ‘HOLLISTER’ name stitched down the leg. I’m not sure if they were mens’ or womens’ sweatpants, but that’s what ultimately made us realize he might be a serious buyer.”

And sure enough, Brandon Parker was more than just a tire kicker. He ended up buying that Porsche Cayenne; and in doing so, he destroyed the stereotypes most commonly associated with both Porsche’s in general and in their line of crossovers. Sure, he pronounces the imaginary second syllable in ‘Porsche’ but what could you expect from some bearded guy from north central Massachusetts who may, or may not, be wearing women’s sweatpants.

At least he’s not a douchebag.


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