the-biggest-loser

The face of reality television is once more set to change with NBC’s announcement that the 18th season of its landmark weight-loss competition ‘The Biggest Loser’ will grace our television screens sometime in 2018.

The series, which first premiered in October of 2004, had traditionally followed the weight-loss journey of 12 clinically obese contestants, coached by high-profile fitness trainers, and competing for a cash prize. In an effort to keep the format fresh, later seasons would employ themed gimmicks such as ‘couples’, ‘families’, ‘age groups’ and even ‘former athletes’.

But the series (last aired in February 2016) would endure constant scrutiny. Questioning the physical and psychological ramifications of aggressive diet and exercise practices, as well as the effects of ‘instant celebrity’ posed a challenge that even hit ratings couldn’t overcome.

As a result, the upcoming 18th season will focus on only two competitors: namely the Chevy Silverado and the Ford F-Series…

As reported by current auto news publications nationwide, NBC execs agree that the perceived feud between the two leading automakers provided a perfect platform to reinvigorate the ratings giant. Even better, there could be no criticism of risk to the contestants’ physical, mental or emotional health since both were inanimate objects.

First inspired by Ford’s decision to use aluminum bed construction to reduce the F-150’s overall weight, the idea enjoyed a long marination within NBC boardrooms. According to inside sources, it would be revisited periodically, whenever Chevy commercials would malign Ford for making the change. What would send the idea into overdrive was the recent implication that Chevy may (or may not) be integrating carbon fiber into the Silverado’s bed construction, with the same goal of weight reduction. After Chevy found itself being criticized for being hypocritical, NBC decided that rising tension between Chevy and Ford enthusiasts made it too good an opportunity to pass up.

The press conference to announce the series was hosted by NBC President Jeff Zucker, with appearances by both Mary Barra and James Hackett (respective CEO’s of General Motors and Ford Motor Company). Adding a heightened sense of hype, UFC President Dana White was on-hand to awkwardly stand between the CEO’s (who were, admittedly, lacking in terms of trash-talking and stare-downs).

Comedian, actor and UFC personality Joe Rogan was quoted as seeing, “It was pretty funny to hear 62-year old Hackett throw ’Yo Mama’ jokes at 56-year old Mary Barra, but everyone was floored the moment Barra told Hackett to ‘eat a d*ck’. I think the Silverado might have some chops to take this thing.”

Perhaps one of the biggest revelations is that the series would welcome the return of the series’ original coaches, aging hipster Bob Harper (coaching Ford) and militant-yet-attractive Jillian Michaels (coaching Chevy’s fat ass).

Harper was quoted as saying, “Show me the money!” while Michaels was too frightening to interrupt as she ripped the throat out of a live bull, with her teeth.

Time will tell if ‘The Biggest Loser: Chevy v. Ford’ will be the success NBC is banking on, but one thing is for sure…

Every F-Series and Silverado customer will be happier at the gas pumps.

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