Covered Wagon or Nissan Pathfinder

0
535
A Nissan Pathfinder for sale is shown next to a covered wagon.

There’s a lot of talk out there about these modern vehicles called horseless carriages. Well, I am doubtful that the historical precedent of durability and featureset established by the covered wagon will ever be surpassed. Let’s take a closer look at some of the key features offered by these modern “alternatives” to the tried and true classic.

This company called Nissan manufactures a Sport Utility Vehicle called the Pathfinder. Give me a break, back in my day we never needed someone else to find a path for us, let alone a motorized device. We were our own path finders. Also, calling it a “sport” vehicle makes me chortle. How am I supposed to take this seriously? Maybe you’re looking for a Nissan Pathfinder for sale, maybe you like making your own path.

Covered Wagon vs Nissan Pathfinder

There’s a lot of talk out there about these modern vehicles called horseless carriages. Well, I am doubtful that the historical precedent of durability and feature-set established by the covered wagon will ever be surpassed. Let’s take a closer look at some of the key features offered by these modern “alternatives” to the tried and true classic.

This oriental company called “Nissan” manufactures a Sport Utility Vehicle called the “Pathfinder.” Give me a break! Back in my day, we never needed someone else to find a path for us, let alone a motorized device. We were our own pathfinders. Also, calling it a “sport” vehicle makes me chortle. How am I supposed to take this seriously? Maybe you’re looking for a Nissan Pathfinder for sale, sure, but more likely you prefer making your own path.

Why the Covered Wagon Will Never Be Surpassed

If the wagon was good enough for my great, great, great-grandpa, it will be good enough for my great, great, great-grandson. This is a vehicle of simple technology, made entirely out of renewable materials, and can be repaired by anyone with a half-decent knowledge of carpentry and the wheelwright craft. The average man can get one of these classic rides back onto the trail in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. And I know what I said—I said trail—because these babies can cruise down any trail at basically breakneck speed. They can travel eight to twenty miles in a single day. How many people can even walk that far in a day, especially if they’re carrying all their belongings? A covered wagon can make even the fastest person travel at a faster rate.

What does the Nissan Pathfinder even offer? Two hundred and eighty-four horse power? That seems pretty stupid to me. Even if you could get that many horses attached to your vehicle—and you cannot—there is no way that it would help in any way. A horse can only travel 25-35 miles in a day. Adding horse after horse after horse is not going to make them go any faster. A covered wagon can have as many horses as it needs, and it only needs one. (Or two.)

Indeed, you can say that Nissan can attach a trailer and carry 6,000 lbs. The reported 284 horse power sounds more like 284 farce power because I know of wagons that can carry 12,000 lbs with the right horses—and needing nowhere near two hundred of them, either. So a covered wagon can carry more, is made with renewable resources, and travels at a consistent daily rate. Hmph!

I guess one thing I can give to the Pathfinder is the speed. Reportedly it can go over 70 miles in an hour. Yeah, I’m “totally certain” that is true… Nothing manmade has ever moved that fast, and I can guarantee you that, even if it is true—which it is not—it could only be true on well-made roads. I can assure you beyond a shadow of a doubt that the covered wagon would win in an off-road trail speed contest.

Assisted steering in the Nissan, you say? Ha! My horses are so well trained I’ve never had to do anything more than tell them the general direction, and I can relax the rest of the day. Truly, my horses are my companions on long trips. Nissan “horses” are constantly groaning and making noise, and they’re not even real horses. Not much fun to be around. Boring! And air conditioning? Yeah, I have a constant breeze while I’m riding in my wagon, too, and mine smells like fresh mountain air and evergreen trees, and also a little like a horse.

You’ll never be able to convince me that a smelly, oily machine will ever replace the gold standard that is the covered wagon. I’ve never been proven wrong because I’m very selective about the data I use in my research. I’ll tell you what: if you can ever produce a convincing argument—which you can not—that I should “upgrade” my covered wagon to the modern abomination that is the automobile, I’ll buy you one, too.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here