Ford Announces Prayer to Replace All Routine Maintenance

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A Ford F-150 for sale is shown with the hood open.

The recent overturning of Roe v. Wade and the subsequent ruling that allows prayer back in public schools has caused quite a commotion, as well as division through the country. While many are outraged at the prospect of the United States becoming a theocracy, some have welcomed the change with arms wide open. The possible eradication of church and state has the possibility to open up the floodgates in terms of new legislation and the abolishment of certain civil liberties. While it remains to be seen if such a future is in store for us, a curious move from the Ford Motor Company has illustrated that the new changes have already occurred. For those of you who had plans to look for a Ford F-150 for sale to call your own, you might be shocked and disappointed by the blue brand’s new policy towards routine maintenance.

In a company-wide policy enacted immediately, Ford has opted to completely do away with its service and maintenance department. All dealerships will have their garages permanently closed down, and all technicians employed will be terminated. What has caused this? It’s simple. “For years, we’ve been burdened by the declaration that separates church and state,” Ford CEO Jim Farley told reporters at a press conference this past Wednesday. “Ford is taking steps to adhere to the higher laws that exist above the rules that we’re governed by.” Farley went into great detail about his gratitude to the Supreme Court for their recent legislation. “For generations, we’ve lived in an atheist nation that puts science and repairs ahead of our lord and savior. Sure, there’s a lot of discussion about the separation of church and state, but no one’s talking about the separation of christ and cars. We’re changing that right now.”

What does this mean for consumers? Well, a lot. The first step that’s being taken is that all Ford vehicles will be retrofitted with a new infotainment center. Access to Android and Apple smartphones has been eliminated, and instead, a 24/7 streaming service will broadcast sermons from the Old Time Gospel Hour. This is only part of what Ford is shifting to; as the manufacturer does away with the various service departments that accompany dealerships across the country, what will take their place?

As part of the initiative Farley describes as “Christ and Cars,” the CEO has replaced all car maintenance with “the power of prayer.” Many have criticized Ford openly for making such a move that puts millions out of work, neglects routine service necessary for vehicles to operate properly, and above all, places their entire fleet with problems that are almost impossible to solve. We reached out to our own industry insider, Mark Scaglione, for his take on Ford’s bold move that has many stunned.

“It’s a bold move and one that invites a lot of negative repercussions from both consumers and government-mandated testing. I mean, no roadside assistance? No more routine maintenance being offered at dealerships? That’s not only ridiculous, it’s insulting to people of other religions who Ford might not be willing to pray for.” Scaglione’s concern is certainly a valid one. And it does lead to an interesting thought—what does this mean for Ford’s non-Christian customers? Scaglione isn’t the only one thinking about this aspect of Ford’s new business model. Conservative blogger Pat the Patriot gave some insight into how others can take advantage of Ford’s prayer circles. “It’s simple; just convert. Hell, people switch from Ford to Chevy and back again all the time…what difference does it make? If you don’t like domestic manufacturers, you can go live in Russia…and I’ll help you pack!”

We’ll be sure to provide more updates to this story as it unfolds.

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