2018 GMC Terrain

Every day, hundreds of thousands of men and women around the globe find themselves afflicted with a crippling disorder which ushers in countless long-term adverse effects. Depression, weight gain, social anxieties and an inability to maintain effective relationships are examples of such effects, rendering the victim diminished in both their mental and physical health, as well as inaccessible socially. The disorder?


The Friend-Zone

For those unfamiliar with the term, “Friend-Zone” is traditionally applied to circumstances of unrequited love where one party is enamored with another, but the latter views the former in a capacity that is purely platonic. In many cases, the distinction is made because the enamored party is considered “safe”, less-appealing to the object of their affection due to their absence of “edge”. While their positive attributes make them ideal for friendship, the absence of risk or danger renders them unappealing as a romantic partner.

If you’ve ever found yourself one the receiving end of a “Friend-Zone” sentence, know that you are not alone. And if you’ve ever found yourself on the receiving end of a “Friend-Zone” sentence while shopping for your next vehicle, maybe you should consider a 2018 GMC Terrain. Okay, it doesn’t have to be the Terrain, but maybe you should consider a GMC since you might have more in common with it than you think.



Because of any automaker out there, GMC offerings feel safe, devoid of risk or the appeal of edge. In fact, there’s really nothing at all interesting about a GMC. Considering that each model is the corporate cousin of a more ambitious Chevy counterpart makes GMC the automotive equivalent of a ‘Friend-Zone” candidate.

For example, someone might consider buying a Terrain before figuring out that they have a raging hard-on for the Equinox. Or they might give the Acadia some serious thought, before driving off the lot in the Traverse. There’s bound to have been a few Yukon that got the shaft in favor of a Suburban. And if you’re choosing a Sierra or Canyon over a Silverado or Colorado, I may be inclined to question your sanity.

Simply put, one could equate the selection of a GMC over a Chevy to finding out that identical twins have a crush on you, and choosing the boring and less-appealing of the two. And to be clear, I’m not talking about choosing the more reserved twin over the slutty on. I’m talking about genuine, understandable appeal. Like one twin (Chevy) can read and has all of their teeth, while the other (GMC) was chained in their basement and throws their own feces at passers-by. Even if the differences weren’t that severe, the point remains the same: even though they are generally identical, one is a more appreciable recipient for your romantic affections, while other might be better off “as a friend”.

With that in mind, who buys a GMC over a Chevy? We’re not sure, but chances are, they’ve spent their fair share of the time in the Friend Zone and have found a kindred spirit in the GMC offering of their choice.


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