GMC Dealer

Matt Turwilliger lived the kind of focused, and well-directed life that most people would silently covet. Fiscally responsible, he learned the power of saving his money at an early age. At 15, he purchased his first vehicle, from the family dealership, albeit at full-price and with his own money. In high school, the honors student spent his last fee summer in Army basic training, entering the National Guard at the start of his senior year. Once graduated, he attended college, earning his B.A. at Bethesda State University, and chose to apply that higher education to his two true loves: cars and helping people. At the age of 22, Turwilliger was a college-graduate, sergeant in the United States Army National Guard, owner of multiple vehicles as well as a townhouse condo, and now he was entering the family business as an entry-level sales associate (refusing preferential inclusion in the management team). For this noble, hard-working young professional, the world was his oyster…and yet, he had no clam. And it was while working as a GMC dealer that Matt Turwilliger met the third true love of his life: a fellow BSU graduate by the name of Muriel White. Similarly motivated, Muriel worked in the city’s Public Relations department, earning high accolades for her ability to manage public expectations. What she was also good at managing was Matt Turwilliger who, after 18 months of dating, purchased a diamond engagement ring with the intention of proposing to Muriel.

Some might think they’d be hard-pressed to find a more suitable son-in-law than Matt Turwilliger. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t make the good impression you might think. Accompanying Muriel back to her home state of Michigan, to meet her parents and to ask for their blessing, the young suitor would find himself the victim of a major misunderstanding.

As explained by Ted White, “We had never met Matt, before. There we were, with our only daughter bringing a stranger home for the first time, and my wife and I were just a ball of nerves.”

His wife, Karen agrees, “We were drilling her for information, but she wasn’t giving us a lot. She did mention that he worked for a GMC dealer, so our first impulse was positive…until our son brought us up to speed, of course.”

Muriel’s younger brother, Jamie, was a 19-year old high school dropout who worked part-time at PetSmart and lived at home while focusing on his career as an EDM deejay. “I told them all about GMC,” explains Jamie. “Momz and Pops thought my man, Matt, sold cars and trucks. But they didn’t know how big GMC was on the club scene.”

Prompted by Jamie’s comments, The Lemon has learned that GMC is a popular mood and perception-altering narcotic, that can often be found at EDM clubs and festivals.

“Obviously, we couldn’t give them our blessing,” says Ted White, regretfully. “He seemed nice enough, but we couldn’t allow our daughter to marry a drug dealer, no matter how polished he was.”

According to Muriel (who chose to elope with Matt Turwilliger) the whole situation was very confusing. “Obviously, my parents were very confused. I blame my idiot brother. He’s probably still pissed that I wouldn’t let him keep my friend Gayle’s panties when she left them at the house during a sleepover years ago. That guy really knows how to hold a grudge.

The Lemon attempted to reach out to Gayle for a comment, but she declined.


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