Ford Patent Filing Blocked By Billionaire Playboy

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It was recently reported by imaginethat.org that Ford might be investing their resources into the design and construction of a motorcycle / car hybrid. The design consists of an Escort-like wagon design which houses a motorcycle inside of its front end, that can detach and function independently. Below, you can find a copy of the diagram included in the Patent Application, issued on April 26 of this year.

Due to the kitsch nature of its design, which harkens back to a version of the Batmobile seen in Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight” film, the vehicle is being referred to unofficially as the ‘bat-cycle.’ It is Ford’s belief that the design will prove enticing to both adventurous souls and urban vehicle-owners due to the versatility that such a vehicle would offer.

But it would appear that Ford Motor Company might have a few obstacles in their path. As reported across automotive news platforms, a recent injunction has been filed to block the patent application from final review and approval. As a global leader in automotive technology, Ford (a division of LexCorp since 2001) has voiced their surprise at the injunction, citing as precedent their “iconic reputation of inspired innovation” which they feel has “provided forward momentum to the automotive industry since Day One.”

Ford spokesperson Mercy Graves addressed the press on Wednesday stating, “Why a third party would set out to restrict progress is beyond us. Consider for a moment that ‘said party’ has positioned themselves against the same kind of innovation to yield progressively safer vehicles for today’s drivers and families. And, in terms of ecology and economy, isn’t it these same groundbreaking advances which have helped transportation to grow increasingly more sustainable and sensible? Who could possibly want to limit Ford from delivering a wider-range of enticing offerings to their loyal customer base?”

Who indeed? Intrigued (to say the least), we here at The Lemon have dug our meaty fingers deep into the mystery, determined to identify the instigator of Ford’s enigmatic hurtle. And with the help of unnamed sources within the patent office, we have traced the attempted obstruction back to Gotham’s-own Bruce Wayne.

Some would argue that the move is fiscally based, implying that Wayne Enterprises (and/or its subsidiaries) have a similar product pending patent approval. However, an investigation into current patent applications seems to confirm that’s not the case. Also, the injunction was not filed on behalf of Wayne Enterprises itself but facilitated personally by the attorneys of Bruce Wayne. But why would a billionaire playboy such as Bruce Wayne block the development of this ‘bat-cycle’?

In a joint press conference held by Ford CEO Jim Hackett and LexCorp CEO Lex Luthor, Hackett explains, “Bruce Wayne’s attempt to halt our progress is unconscionable. This vehicle which you call the ‘bat-cycle’ is a revolutionary idea, with enduring appeal, capable of paying long-term dividends to today’s consumer. Speak up, Mr. Wayne! Why are you doing this?”

“I have my own suspicions, of course…” explains Luthor. “Unfortunately, I’m not currently at liberty to share them publicly. But when I have confirmation, I can assure you that the press will be the first to know.” He then glared directly into the cameras, his voiced dropping into a firm and icy tone. “Perhaps I’ll get your attention by shining a giant light into the night sky!”

Bruce Wayne, currently partying in Ibiza, could not be reached for comment. And in other news, the Batman has allegedly thwarted the delivery of illegal narcotics through Gotham harbor, last night…

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