Yes, it’s that time of the year again, when temperatures reach triple digits and a great number of beachgoers realize that they should’ve spent more time working on their summer bod. 2020 is different, though, as this year is the year of the virus. With public pools shuttered and beaches kind of open but mostly closed, it is clear that this summer, we’ll need a different way to cool off. While emptying your fridge of your pandemic lockdown snacks and living in it may sound like a literally cool-ass solution, we have a better answer. With so many pickup trucks spending more time in driveways, parking lots, and garages than they do on the road, it’s about time you put your now stationary vehicle into good use: by turning it into a social distance friendly swimming pool. Yes, you heard us right, whether you own the 2020 Jeep Gladiator or 2020 Chevy Colorado, we’ll give you expert tips and tricks on how to transform that truck bed into a personal watering hole. And while we suggest you don’t try this at home, it is unlikely that we’ll be able to stop you.
First Things First: The Truck
Before you do anything, you want to be sure that the car you own is ready to handle several gallons of water. Sure, you could potentially fill up the inside of a tiny Chevy Cruz, but sealing that puppy and expecting the inside not to mold is like trying to change the ocean tides, impossible. And yes, SUVs like the Jeep Grand Cherokee may have the size to handle more than your standard kiddie pool, you want to be able to both drive your car and swim in it. So, of course, the ideal body styling capable of not only handling the water, but the weight of the water is the pickup truck.
Pickup trucks are true muscle machines, capable of hauling a pretty substantial amount of cargo behind them. So it only makes sense that they’d also be able to haul you, the water, pool floaties, your margarita mixer, a six-pack of Corona beer, and your personal floating BBQ grill.
That said, you can’t pick any old pickup truck you find on the street, nor can it be some rinky-dink used model you save from the scrapper. We suggest a true champion of power, something that screams: YES, I DO HAVE A FUCKING POOL IN MY TRUCK BED. This ought to be a pickup truck that starts off with a hefty V6 or V8 engine, or even a V12 engine if you can find it. Hell, if you can manage to pack more cylinders into the engine after the time of purchase, we highly suggest it. While it may not seem like it, water is hefty, seriously hefty. When you’re hauling several gallons of water in your sealed off truck bed, you don’t want to be slowed by a second-rate engine. So, yes, you can forget about hybrid powertrains, the world is ending, so there is no need to stress about gas emissions.
It’s also worth mentioning that you should invest in a truck with a bed length that can fit your immediate household. If you’re single and alone, a 5-foot bed might do, although if you’re the parent of a family of 4, you may want to splurge and get a 6-foot bed. And if you socially isolate with your neighbors, your hairstylist, your best friends, and your grandma, you may want to take the plunge and get an 8-foot long truck bed.
Once you’ve found the truck with a real humdinger of an engine and a good-sized truck bed, your next step is to find sealant and really paint the walls, so to speak.
While some professionals simply water seal their truck bed with a nice smattering of cut-up 12-gallon black plastic bags, we’ll take the more refined approach: proper sealant. If you head down to your local hardware store, you’ll get a myriad of options to choose from, but we suggest getting the cheapest option as you’ll need lots to go around. And sure, you can invest in pool sealant, but that’s going the easy way out. Part of this whole pandemic is really about hunkering down and pushing your limits, so why take a shortcut now?
Once you’ve got your ideal seal, start painting that puppy up. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask, but be sure that everyone is properly equipped with their N95s, a face shield, a hazmat suit, a whole pallet of latex gloves, and several rolls of toilet paper. The sealing process is pretty simple, not a whole lot of thought involved there; it just takes a lot of time and patience. After the truck bed is coated, now comes the fun part, filling the whole dang thing with water.
Sure, it’s nice to stay cool and everything, but even four-year-old Brayden knows this party should be a little bit more redneck.
Truck bed pool building experts are often asked, “Say there Johnathan, what kind of water should I fill my truck bed pool with?” This is a fair question if you’re a complete amateur with no experience in truck bed pool building. A beginner might say, hose water is the best filler solution. And sure, water from your hose is an alright fix, but if you really want to swim like a lockdown champion, we suggest pure filtered drinking water, the kind that tastes like a cool breeze and feels like silk on your tongue.
Keep in mind this might take time, but considering most people are spending a good chunk of their lives vegging out on Netflix, time is currently of abundance.
Now filling up your truck bed is a crucial process, as you’ll want to consider things like liquid displacement, the number of people using your “socio-iso” pool at any given time, and whether or not you want to use water wings. And if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you can even increase the depth of your potential “socio-iso” pool by elevating the depth of your truck bed using plexiglass paneling. Increasing the depth of your truck bed pool is no simple task, but when done correctly can lead to plenty of poolside shenanigans.
Enjoy the Summer Completely Isolated
No one is born a winner; instead, success and achievement have to be earned, much like building a “socio iso” truck bed swimming pool. The task in front of you may seem daunting, but if accomplished, you can enjoy the heat of the summer without having to worry about breaking isolation. 2020 has been a crazy year so far, so crazy in fact that by comparison, you won’t look like a maniac when you cruise through the neighborhood with your 6×5 mobile swimming pool.
Everyone needs a little escape right now, and at this point, not even a Tiger King movie starring Nicholas Cage will suffice. With a truck bed pool, you can forget about masks, sanitizers, and the like because you’re a champion, and like a champion, you get to enjoy life as you please taking a dip in your home built “socio iso” friendly swimming pool.
Build safely, my friends.