If you’re opting for one of these vehicles, you’ll surely be in a situation where you need to get away quickly. Well, Johnny’s used vehicles have specifically been selected for their incredible acceleration specs, which often include 0-to-60 times that are at less than six seconds. Whether you need to get home to watch the game, clean the crime scene, or make dinner, you’ll make it there in no time.


Free Towing Service

On the flip side, you may just want to ditch your vehicle on the side of the road. Regardless of whether you shop at the dealership during the promotion, Johnny includes a free towing service for each of his vehicles… even if the cars are perfectly capable of operating. The 24/7 service members will travel to any location in the Michigan area, and they’ll take your vehicle back to our facilities. Our customers are allowed to pick up the vehicle at anytime, or we could alternatively dispose of the vehicle if needed.


Illuminated Cup Holder

Finally, each of the eligible vehicles will be equipped with the necessary illuminated cupholder. Without this feature, drivers may spend an extra second of time trying to properly place their bottle into the holder. As doctors have noted, this can lead to anxiety and depression. Now, with the illuminated holder, drivers will save that extra second and be able to secure their beverage with ease, leading to a better driving experience and life in general.

“There’s nothing more inconvenient than not being able to place your drink in the cupholder because it’s too dark outside,” Romano said. When asked why he hadn’t elaborated, Romano responded “that’s really it, that just really annoys me.” When asked if the feature had anything to do with crime, Romano said, “I want my lawyer.”

UPDATE: Since the writing of this press release, Johnny’s Cars and Cards has been shut down. Owner Johnny Romano has been arrested and charged with a number of crimes, including murder, racketeering, extortion, fraud, and money laundering. Degenerate Weekend has been cancelled, although the city has taken control of the dealership’s assets. They’ll be selling off each of the business’s vehicles in an upcoming auction.

“There’s nothing more inconvenient than getting arrested right before the Degenerate Weekend, especially since I had nothing to do with what happened on Amber Street a couple of Tuesdays ago,” Romano said. When asked about the specificity of his statement, Romano responded, “I want my lawyer.”


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