GM Comparison

Never before has society felt so divided. From everything forced down your throat via the media, to the onslaught of the unpleasantness of social media, it’s no surprise that we (as individuals) have grown increasingly more likely to separate ourselves into smaller groups or isolate ourselves completely. Perhaps a debate is based around the arguments in favor of, or against, our current president. You might be intimately involved in the gender-based conversations regarding wage gaps, or identity politics. Maybe it’s fuel for an athlete’s decision to kneel in protest during the national anthem. Perhaps you’re just really upset that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez didn’t work out (even if your BFF disagrees). Or maybe you’re furiously debating which is better, between the 2018 GMC Sierra 1500 vs. 2018 Chevy Silverado. Regardless of the motivation, we have never found ourselves so at odds with one another, with few worthwhile topics to discuss that don’t trigger immediate enmity.

Even the competing offerings from various automakers have found themselves at the center of increasingly-heated debates about superiority. Sure, there have always been arguments the likes of Ford vs. Chevy, but now the battles seem to be fueled more by cheap shots than by actual facts. It’s no surprise, I guess. We do, after all, live in a world where we perceive a fight to be won by memes and soundbites, ending in a delusional ‘mic drop.’

But General Motors is setting out to change that, noting even the dissension between their own GMC and Chevy properties as examples of why such drastic action is needed. And, in doing so, they might have chosen the perfect partner to stand in their corner

As reported this month, GM was recently protested by a large group of Wiccans, who disagreed with their vehicle naming process, as used on such models such as the ‘Equinox’ and ‘Terrain.’ In line with their beliefs regarding ‘The Power of a Name,’ the group felt that GM was robbing the earth mother of cosmic energy. After the conflict had ended, GM CEO Mary Barra sat down with Wiccan High Priestess Fallopia Hawkes-Blood, in the hopes of reaching an understanding that would be satisfactory to all. The two met in open-minded union over the Book of Shadows, and a catered lunch from Panera.

According to the High Priestess, “Sister Barra helped us to understand why it simply wasn’t feasible for GM to rename existing vehicles, due to the restrictions set by patriarchal legalities. While it wasn’t the ideal outcome, we understood her position. Plus, she offered us some great warehouse space for the coven to meet, rent-free.  There was just one condition…”

That condition was that the coven would use a combination of Summoning and Binding rituals to lure a spirit from the ethereal realm, link it to our tangible world and force it to do GM’s bidding. And what better choice of spirit, than that of the late-Rodney King?

Prior to his death in June of 2012, Mr. King was best known for a 1991 incident where he fell victim to police brutality at the hands of the L.A.P.D. and the assault was caught on film. As a landmark civil rights case, two of the four officers were found guilty while the two others were acquitted. Mr. King, received $3.8 million in damages and is now immortalized for his famous line, “Can we all get along?” as shown in the clip below.

According to a GM insider, the executive team feels that enough time has passed where a tongue-in-cheek reference to those events would be well-received, as long as (i) it is not trivialized, and (ii) the ‘noble intent of the sentiment’ remains intact.

If this is true, it would certainly validate any belief that the High Priestess and her coven would be honoring the conditions of their contract with GM. An as long as the words come from Rodney King himself (or his corporeal spirit summoned from the afterlife) they may just garner the social goodwill they are looking for, and translate it into a more unified consumer base.

Way to think outside of the box, GM.


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