Michael Bay to Direct New Jeep Commercials

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A Jeep Grand Cherokee and Wrangler are shown during a fiery Jeep Grand Cherokee for sale commercial.

Few directors are more polarizing than “explosion auteur” Michael Bay. To some, he’s a purveyor of joy whose work might lack artistic depth but provides the same kind of entertainment as a carnival ride. To others, he’s an idiotic hack. A person whose sexualization of actresses and continuous need to give live-action treatments to beloved animated shows only feeds the bottom of the barrel of movie-going audiences. No matter what your opinion of him may be, there’s no denying that his name is instantly recognizable among the American public. While this isn’t known to many people, Bay got his start in the lucrative advertising world. That’s right; he’s the mastermind behind the milk commercial, which featured a peanut butter sandwich and a museum employee attempting to win a radio call-in contest. Why is this important? Because Michael Bay just announced he’s struck a deal with the Chrysler corporation to write, produce and direct a series of commercials for Jeep, returning to his roots.

Bay has huge plans for the 2022 and 2023 Jeep lineup. There will be plenty of trims of the Jeep Wrangler and Jeep Grand Cherokee for sale, with Bay’s plans for the new commercials to feature his trademark explosive-heavy signature mixed with his own unique brand of toxic masculinity, appealing to those who are entering puberty or have never grown past this critical phase of development. We were granted access to a pitch meeting in which Bay’s acumen for marketing to testosterone was on full display.

“Okay, here’s the idea I have,” the director began. “Megan Fox in a pair of daisy dukes, bent over, dripping with sweat, with her bikini top soaked all the way through…checks the oil level on a Jeep Wrangler…then, an explosion happens in the foreground.” The room falls silent at the dizzying intellect of Bay. “She looks up, the camera pans to her lips, she licks them with a look of hunger in her eyes.” The boardroom, hooked line and sinker into the type of mesmerizing imagery Bay is known for, hangs on with eager anticipation. “Then, she slams the hood down, the camera pans to the Jeep logo…and then another explosion happens. She immediately gets into the driver seat of the Wrangler and speeds off towards it. All the while, more explosions occur all around her while sweat continues to drip down her face and soak her top further…then…it cuts to black.”

The boardroom is stunned and blown away by Bay’s vision for a new line of commercials destined to reach the public as nothing else has before. While there is amazement on the faces of almost everyone in attendance, there are some who are skeptical about Bay’s machismo-laced ideas. “Where are the explosions coming from? Why would someone wear a skimpy outfit to check the oil in their vehicle?” Barbara Higgins, a member of Jeep’s marketing team inquires. “There doesn’t need to be a reason,” Bay begins. “Do you think people go to my movies because of plot, character development, or artistic integrity? Of course not! They go for explosions and babes…this is how I sell tickets and put butts in seats.”

When he was accused of simply objectifying women, Bay’s response was telling about his unique method of entertainment. “I put the OBJECT in objectify. No one wants to know about specs and horsepower. Put a hot babe in front of something with a lot of things needlessly blowing up, and you’ve got an increased profit margin. I sold milk during the 1990s; I can sell Jeeps to hippies.” Whether or not there will be any crossover potential with Bay’s Transformers movies remains to be seen. We’ll keep you posted.

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