Here at The Lemon, we’re proud of the journalistic integrity that we adhere to. And every so often, we live up to our namesake by “squeezing out” the stories that affect you and the automotive industry that you certainly won’t read anywhere else. And today, we’re witnessing a momentous event that we’re sure is going to incite much excitement for many of you. This live auto news takes us to GM headquarters in Detroit, MI. The anticipation regarding the release of the 2023 Chevy Silverado 1500 has gripped the motor city for the past several months. And now, thanks to one of the most coveted rituals in automotive history, the moment so many of us have been waiting for has finally arrived.
In front of GM headquarters, there sits a remarkable sight to behold. On New Year’s Eve, a large pile of tires was placed in front of corporate headquarters. At the stroke of midnight, as is tradition, the stack of discarded rubber was set ablaze in a roaring inferno that soon resembled a funeral pyre. Millions of residents came to watch the flames and keep vigil over the spectacle. For many knew what was going to be occurring in a matter of time. While rubber smells foul and emits a thick black smoke that’s harmful to the senses, it finally happened last night at 11:34 PM. The smoke turned white and began to smell like a pine tree air freshener. A roar of applause and adulation broke the silence of the night sky as everyone knew what had happened. The white smoke signified that the 2023 Chevy Silverado 1500 is now for sale to the public.
“The sight of the white smoke made me want to burst out in tears…” Willy Harris, a foreman at a local GM plant, told us. “This is a sacred ritual that’s been practiced every year, no one covers it, and I’m glad that The Lemon was here to document the single-most-important moment for the 2023 model year.” It was hard not to feel moved by the spectacle. Seeing so many factory workers, employers, onlookers, and even some of the corporate executives who make major decisions at GM daily break down and cry in a heartwarming display of solidarity.
As we reported, 2022 was quite a rough year for GM and Chevy in particular. There were a considerable amount of scandals that would have meant major setbacks for any corporation, but, as they’ve done in years prior, GM persevered. First, there was the scandal that revealed that the powertrain for the Bolt EUV was nothing more than a bunch of hamsters. Then, there was the controversy over GM’s Kids-4-Kars program, which encouraged parents to trade in their firstborn children for the chance to drive a Chevy SUV of their choice. And it’s going to be a very long time before anyone forgets Mary Berra’s initiative to sacrifice human children in a pagan ritual to boost sales of the Chevy Equinox. Yes, it’s been a tumultuous time for the company.
However, there’s always room to adapt and develop, moving past the hardships towards a new day. As we look at the white smoke emanating from the cumbersome tire fire, we’re reminded of why we’ve stood by GM over the years. We can’t help but shed some tears alongside the people who make GM the very special entity that it is. From Detroit, MI, a very late and happy new year from all of us at The Lemon. And thank you to all of you for making us the most reputable news source in the automotive world.
