Steven Spielberg & Carmen Electra: Together at Last (Thanks Ford!)

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Steven Spielberg holding an award and Carmen Electra in a bikini in front of the Cincinnati Skyline and the word Cincinnati

“Name a more iconic duo…I’ll wait.”

The prevalence of such internet challenges provides a perfect depiction of the impactful nature of great pairings. Throughout history, entertainment and popular culture have featured any number of iconic duos: from Laurel & Hardy to Abbot & Costello. Burns & Allen to Lucy & Ricky. Tom & Jerry to Woody & Buzz. Res & Stimpy to Beavis & Butthead. Drake & Josh to Zach & Cody. Obama & Biden to Rick & Morty. Porn Hub & Incognito Mode to…okay…well, that one’s hard to beat. But what is it about such pairings that captivate our minds and hearts?

Like peanut butter & jelly (or peas & carrots, if you’re into dated Forrest Gump references) society is captivated by most any collaboration between two items that seem otherwise unconnected. Most of the above represent the pairing of a quote-unquote straight man with a comedic foil. And yet, some pairings simply compliment each other sufficiently enough to make us wonder, “Why has it taken so long for these two to find each other?”

And now, thanks to a group of Cincinnati Ford Dealers teaming up with city officials to market Cincinnati in new and exciting ways, one such pairing of Cincinnati celebrities is positioned to steal your f*cking heart.

He is considered one of the founding pioneers of the ‘New Hollywood’ era and one of the most popular directors and producers in film history. She is a television personality, singer, singer, and actress. He is responsible for such iconic films as Jaws, E.T., Jurassic Park and Saving Private Ryan (among too many other films to count). She has proven a diverse palate having been romantically linked to Prince, Dave Navarro, Colin Farrell, Dennis Rodman, Simon Cowell, Vin Diesel, Tommy Lee and Fred Durst (we could keep going, but our crotch is itching just typing this). That’s right, for those of you have spent your life praying for a team-up between Steven Spielberg and Carmen Electra, your wish is about to come true.

(Also, you pray for some pretty weird things…)

Beginning in 2019, the two Cincinnati natives will serve as media ambassadors to the city, promoting it across various media platforms. Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley announced the team-up in a recent press conference, “The time has come for the proud people of Cincinnati to enjoy a golden age. Like such beloved locales as New York City, San Francisco, Seattle and New Orleans, Cincinnati will now assert itself as one of the United States great destination cities. Let our children grow into proud Cincinnatians. Let our local businesses thrive. Let Cincinnati enjoy the Renaissance it so greatly deserves.”

Steven Spielberg addresses his new role stating, “Cincinnati. What can I say?” then adding “seriously, can someone please tell me what I can say to up-sell this steaming turd of a city?”

Carmen Electra seemed to echo Spielberg’s meaningless statement by pouting seductively into the camera, a mute mixture of Botox-fueled numbness, vanilla-scented stripper perfume and what we assume to be cleverly-masked stretch-marks.

No-one really knows what the campaign will consist of, but one thing is certain. It’s going to be as big a shit-show as the city of Cincinnati, itself!

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