Houston, TX – One of our local Texas GMC dealers has seen a recent uptick in sales, and it can all be attributed to donuts.
McDouglas’ GMC in Houston, Texas recently unveiled their latest promotion: free donuts while waiting to buy a truck with a whole box thrown in with the final purchase. The dealership has seen their sales increase 100% since introducing the promotion, and their customer-count seemingly grows each day.
“We’ve never seen anything like this,” said Ron McDouglas, the owner of the dealership. “We’ve offered dozens of promotions over the years, but we’ve never seen anything like this.”
McDouglas’ team decided to dive into the psyche of their Texas customers, zeroing in on the one item that no one can deny: donuts.
“Our customers’ average weight is around 350 pounds,” said McDouglas. “It naturally made sense to provide them with free donuts.”
The results? Well, they’re spectacular. For such a simple promotion, the dealership has sold dozens of trucks in the past two days, including 19 yesterday. It apparently wasn’t particularly difficult to attract Texas residents, as many customers admitted that the free donuts were the driving force for them purchasing a new truck.
“I needed a new truck for a while, but I done didn’t do nothin’ about it,” said Cleedus Reed, who used his life savings to purchase a 2018 GMC Canyon. “But then I saw that they there had them free donuts, and that was all the convincing I needed.”
Norma Parton agreed with that sentiment.
“We all know that donuts can be kinda pricey,” she said. “My family and I, we never splurge on donuts. That was one of the biggest reasons why we came into McDouglas GMC to purchase a new truck… It was basically saving us money!”
Of course, there have also been a handful of problems, including a near-riot when the dealership ran out of donuts earlier this week. Fortunately, McDouglas GMC had a contingency, as the dealership had a fried-dough stand on speed-dial.
“Some customers were upset that they were receiving fried dough instead of donuts,” said McDouglas. “But overall, the promotion still worked for the best.”
In fact, the dealership is preparing to honor one of its most loyal customers yet. In the past week, millionaire Ron Rinaldi has visited the business five times and purchased five cars… All while housing a dozen donuts.
“I just can’t stay away,” Rinaldi said in an exclusive phone interview with The Lemon. “It’s not every day that you can get a Truck AND a box of donuts. That’s what’s made this week for unique and special. I just couldn’t deny the deal.”
Predictably, some are worried about the precedent that McDouglas GMC is setting. The Houston Health Department has warned residents that donuts aren’t healthy, while the mayor’s office reminded individuals that they could easily purchase a one-dollar donut without having to invest in a thousand-dollar truck.
“It’s a bit reckless of McDouglas GMC to capitalize on the rampant stupidity of our residents,” the mayor’s office said in a statement. “We implore the dealership to end this promotion immediately.”
Unsurprisingly, McDouglas has no plans to end his deal.
“This has been the most lucrative promotion in our company’s history,” he said. “I’ll be arrested before I end this deal! We’re one of the premier Texas GMC dealers, and it’s going to stay that way for a long, long time.”
