GM Ships Industry to China

The great wall of China is shown near a Chevy dealer.

For those of you who were looking forward to the new releases for the upcoming model year from Chevy, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac, you’re in for a world of disappointment. Over the past few decades, many American companies have opted to have their goods manufactured overseas. China’s ability to mass produce consumer goods for a much lower price has led to many companies having larger inventories of their products while not spending too much, and the automotive manufacturers are taking full advantage of this. Chevy vehicles are made in China now. It’s a reality that many car enthusiasts are going to have to deal with due to the current economic climate.

With many consumers unhappy about the continuing rise in fuel prices and the lack of options due to the microchip shortage, GM has taken it upon itself to utilize the cheaper labor costs of outsourcing the entire fleet production to China. The recent announcement has caused an uproar among the millions of GM factory workers who will now be filing for unemployment as the machinery is being packed up to be shipped overseas. “We feel betrayed,” Ted Watson, floor manager at a Chevy dealer in Collierville, TN, says. “A lot of people will end up losing their jobs. I won’t be one of them, but still…thoughts and prayers.”

“Look, paying factory workers is just too much of a burden.” GM CEO Mary Berra stated at a GM press conference recently. “With gas being so expensive and people buying fewer new vehicles, we have to find a way to save money. I know this might come as a disappointment to you people who think of yourselves as patriots, but the American auto industry isn’t the powerhouse it once was years ago.”

Filmmaker Michael Moore, whose documentary Roger & Me depicted the harsh fallout in Michigan from the closing of several Detroit and Flint area factories, had some harsh comments for Berra. “Do you know the economic hardships this is going to bring about? The recent water problems in Flint will be nothing compared to the high levels of poverty that will result in these jobs being shipped overseas. What’s your excuse? What’s the reason for all this?”

Berra’s response to Moore was quick and to the point. “Fuck it; it’s cheaper.” When reached for comment about her crass and abrasive comments, Berra said that she “Couldn’t hear the disdain of the unemployed from her beachfront property in Hawaii.” Apparently, this has been in the works for some time, and the shipping of machinery from the various GM factories will be immediate. Jing Lao Pei, foreman of the new Beijing GM manufacturing plant, is enthusiastic about the move. “Chinese cars are not very good. We are humbled at the opportunity to show Americans that communists can build their vehicles much better than they can. This will do wonders for our economy, and we look forward to building the new fleet for the upcoming model year.”

When asked if they could acclimate their workforce to deal with the sudden influx of machinery on its way to the Chinese mainland, Lao Pei informed us of the measures the newly assembled team of GM laborers were taking to adjust to the manufacturing of the GM fleet. “We’re feeding our employees a steady diet of McDonald’s and Bud Light. We feel that if we’re going to build American cars, then we need to start acting like them to grow accustomed to the customs of the American automobile worker.”

While this move has been controversial, it’s not without its advantages. Without having to pay their American workforce anymore, GM has announced that their profit margins are projected to increase by 125%. While the future of the displaced workers is in doubt, it’s never too late to start a new career.


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