There’s No Shortage of Shortages

Multiple system messages show a number of shortages.

If you follow the auto industry as closely as I do, then you’ve probably heard a great deal about the microchip shortage that’s currently playing havoc with car production. I’d like to tell you that this shortage is nearly over, and everything is about to go back to normal, but I have too much respect for you, dear reader, to lie to you. The truth is that things are only going to get worse, not only with regard to this but for years to come, with a number of other shortages that are now looming on the horizon, like a grim vulture waiting to swoop down upon and feed upon us all.

The Chip Shortage

Right now, the big shortage that has a lot of people concerned is the microchip shortage. These chips are used for everything that’s computerized, so modern cars require quite a few of them. Due to the pandemic, the factories that make these chips had to close for a while, and automakers reduced their orders, thinking they wouldn’t need as many. But car sales went up, and by the time the car manufacturers realized there was a problem, it was too late, and now they can’t get the chips they need to keep making new models.

The auto industry is trying to downplay this, but the reality of the situation is that this shortage is going to last well into next year, at least. Some experts believe it will not be fully corrected until sometime in 2023. Personally, I know I could eat fewer chips, and that would probably help things out, but once I pop, I just can’t stop.

The Battery Shortage

Looking ahead to the future, some doomsayers are now predicting that when the chip shortage finally ends, there will be another problematic shortage for the auto industry. The batteries currently used to power electric cars are going to be in short supply, and it could result in tens of millions of vehicles not being made over the next decade or so. This certainly spells bad news for the auto industry, especially as more and more drivers are finally ready to leave the internal combustion engine behind.

The Power Shortage

Beyond this upcoming battery shortage, there’s going to be another problem: a power shortage. You see, for EVs to run, they need electricity, and electricity only works when you have atoms with their protons and electrons. According to my sources, however, we’re using up the atoms that exist at an alarming rate, and within the next 50 years, there’s going to be a shortage. This will result in an inability for electric charges to flow through a circuit, which means that all of these fancy EV models will stop working when we all run out of power. Stop using up all of the atoms, people – Canada, I’m looking at you!

The Panic Shortage

Worst of all, experts are concerned that in the future, we’ll run out of things for people to panic and freak out about running out of. At some point, it’s possible we’ll attain some type of utopian ideal where there’s enough of everything that people need to go around, and everyone will be able to eat, drive, and exist responsibly. If this happens, there won’t be scarcity or shortages to make people freak out, and we’ll have a panic shortage.

Fortunately, based on the last year or so, I don’t think this is going to happen any time soon – certainly not within the lifetimes of anyone on the planet today. My observations indicate that we’ll continue to find things to make us panic and lose our collective minds about, pushing and trampling each other in a rush for food, toilet paper, or toys for our children. So while some experts are worried, I think we’ll have ample stores of panic, ignorance, and greed to keep us well stocked for centuries to come.

Editor’s Note: We had not yet heard about worries regarding a battery shortage or power shortage, and now we’re starting to panic. Although we know that cars don’t run on standard AA batteries, we’re worried about running out, and we’ve begun to stockpile them by the thousands. Please send us your batteries, take them out of your remote controls, sex toys, smoke detectors, whatever – just give us your batteries. We need them! Thank you.


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