The Lemons live auto news coverage of the Toyota Supra

As a legitimate news source, The Lemon is always eager to share the latest in live auto news with our readership. But sometimes, that duty (which we take quite seriously) overlaps with other fields in ways we might not have anticipated; fields such as psychology.

A wise man once mocked mankind (albeit lovingly) by accusing humanity of “always looking for patterns that aren’t there”. While meant as a generalized statement, implying that we are comforted by the sense of control that we experience from assigning order and/or significance, there is a legitimate condition called apophenia.

Apophenia was first defined by German psychiatrist Klaus Conrad as an “unmotivated seeing of connections [accompanied by] a specific feeling of abnormal meaningfulness”. At the time, it was limited to a negative context, used as a means of identifying those who were experiencing delusional thoughts.

But to some extent, we all suffer from apophenia. Whether it manifests in the formation of gambling habits, our ability to find faces in wallpaper patterns, or our need to blame the outcome of our day on a series of unrelated events. In either situation we are making sense of the chaos, rationalizing and defining what might otherwise be perceived as unforeseen forces. Believe it or not, the ability to detect patterns is an important component of our survival instincts, although our tendency to draw conspiratorial conclusions (detecting patterns where none exists) can create harmful situations as well.

So, when the American Medical Association reported a recent increase in documented cases of chronic nocturnal emissions, the scientific community was understandably intrigued. Why were so many teenagers and young men suddenly suffering from uncontrollable and repetitive wet dreams?

While some were quick to blame it as a result of the growing societal pressure created by anti-masculine sentiment they were missing an even more clear trigger: the return of the Toyota Supra, after a two-decade retirement.

Being introduced at this past month’s North American Auto Show, the 2020 Toyota Supra might just be the perfect car for those 16-36 year old wannabe street racers in your hometown who probably experienced their first sexual emotion sometime during ‘Tokyo Drift’. The Supra, which has been a staple of both film (a la the ‘Fast and Furious’ franchise) and countless music videos and video games, is representative of an urban racing culture intoxicating to the kind of suburban man-children who still wear sagging jeans and baseball caps at oddly-high, tilted angles. If you’ve ever been called ‘dawg’ by a caucasian old enough to be tried as an adult, you’ve probably met a Supra enthusiast. You’ve probably also been woken up by the unnecessary boom of their sub-woofer, and been blinded by their illegal ground-effects.

But even if these douchebags are 6-9 months behind on their child support payments, we should set aside our criticisms, because (according to the AMA’s research) these poor souls are waking up every morning stuck to their sheets. And who could blame them? After all, they grew up with posters of 10-second Toyotas plastered to their walls, as firmly as their sheets are now plastered to them.

If you or someone you know are the victims of chronic wet dreams, talk with an adult you trust – a parent, a school counselor, your healthcare provider, or a Toyota sales representative. Talking about it is the best way to allow you to feel more comfortable about this natural part of your development, and to determine whether or not you’re a well-qualified buyer for the new 2020 Toyota Supra.


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