It would be an understatement to say that 2020 has been a year for the books. From life-devouring wildfires to friend-ending election brawls, our heads have been spinning for the entirety of this calendar year. Of course, we can’t forget the Great Pandemic of 2020 that has quite literally brought life as we know it to a screeching halt. That’s why it’s so laughable, or perhaps just bewildering, that Ford diesel truck dealers are offering to let buyers hold off on new car payments until 2021. If you’ve been paying any attention at all, you know there is no way on Earth we are going to make it past the end of 2020.
Really? No Payments?
You read that right. Ford is offering buyers a chance to purchase a new vehicle before the end of 2020 and not put forward a single penny in payments until we make it to the year 2021. Which basically means you get to ride out the end of your life in a brand new Ford that you got for absolutely nothing. Because how anybody thinks we could ever make it past 2020 has definitely been living with their heads under a rock.
What has the great apocalypse of 2020 brought us so far? The end of the world began with the long-prophesied fire and brimstone as everything from Australia to California went up in flames. We should have known we were in for a doozy of a year when the entire world was quite literally breathing smoke and ash for the first several weeks of 2020.
Just as word began to reach the Americas about the deadly Coronavirus that was sweeping through Asia, many western hemisphere locations experienced world-rocking earthquakes, the likes of which many had never felt before. Just as we were starting to get our bearings again, the entire world shut down to await our deadly foe, Covid19. If only Ford were offering this deal on new diesel truck purchases then, when it might actually have been useful. Perhaps more people could have escaped to their SHTF mountain hideaways if they’d had a free diesel truck in which to make their getaways.
Let’s be real, if we’re all going to die anyway, why not end our lives with what little bit of fun and enjoyment we can muster? While Trump and Biden go at each other’s throats and the Coronavirus works its way through the world, killing off what’s left of us, you don’t have a lot riding on any kind of future. Life on this planet is doomed, and we all know it, so let’s see what the big hubbub about Ford diesels is before we go, eh? Better late than never, I always say.
Free Diesel Trucks are Little Compensation for the Disasters of 2020 – But it’s Worth a Try!
The Mayans had it all wrong when they predicted the end of the world in 2012. Obviously, there was a little transcription error, and they were, in fact, referring to 2020 as the end of the world. Perhaps that’s why Ford has taken this opportunity to announce that when you buy a new 2021 F-150 Ford pickup truck with either a diesel or gasoline engine, you can defer payments for up to 90 days.
Although what’s in it for Ford, I’ll never know. Nobody is ever going to end up paying for these trucks since nobody will be around come the end of these 90 days. Perhaps this is Ford’s way of compensating us for the nightmare that has been 2020, and even if nobody makes it past December, at least we all went out with a small consolation prize and just a little bit of goodwill toward man.
Should we somehow miraculously make it to 2021, you’ll have to deal with the payments at that point, and unfortunately, most payments will come with between 2.9 and 4.9% interest rates. But really, that’s a small price to pay for the gratitude we will feel should we, in fact, get to go on living.
However, for the majority of people, that is highly unlikely. We don’t know what the end of 2020 will bring, but we’ve ruled out wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, pandemics, riots, and even government-ending brawls. Of course, we haven’t been invaded by aliens, and California hasn’t fallen into the ocean yet, so there’s still plenty of options left to bring about our demise, I suppose.
Who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky, and the entire human race won’t completely be wiped out. Doomsday preppers have been warning us for years that if we would just get an enormous pile of firearms in the mountains somewhere, we could live the rest of our days in complete isolation, living off of our lifetime supply of ammo. What’s lead poisoning in the grand scheme of things? At least you were lucky enough to live longer than the rest of us poor fools. But you’ll never make it to your mountain hideaway without a diesel truck because, as these doomsday experts have been warning us for years, no hybrid or electric car will ever stand the test of times in a real-life SHTF scenario.
Maybe you could trade in your now useless hybrid and get a trade-in assistance bonus when you sign up for your free diesel truck? Put the money you saved towards even more ammo, and you and your family will be set for life – or what’s left of it anyway. Don’t worry about needing to keep up with payments come 2021. Even if you do make it past December, the folks at Ford surely won’t, so there will be nobody to come breathing down your neck collecting your secret stash of gold bricks.
Thanks to Ford for Letting Us Go Out in Style
If you don’t have a mountain hideaway yet, well sucks to be you. Don’t feel too badly, though. If all of us had a secret mountain hideaway, there wouldn’t be much mountain, let alone secrets, left. This poor writer doesn’t have a mountain hideaway either, so I guess you can join me in riding out what’s left of our lives in peace and tranquility. Or as much as we can muster, knowing that should we make it through this election catastrophe, we’re likely to be experimented on by aliens. But at least we can go out with one final bit of carnal pleasure with a new diesel truck.
Buy Your Ford Diesel Now! You Won’t Get The Chance Again.
Hurry on down to your local Ford diesel truck dealer now before it’s too late! With the predicted new vehicle shortage (yet another woe of 2020), if everybody takes advantage of these free trucks, there won’t be many available for long. Take it from me – you won’t regret spending the last weeks of your life zipping up the highway or zooming through the off-road trails, all with a smile on your face. Everybody dreams of going out with a smile on their face, and this is your last chance to guarantee that you do.
Don’t spend the rest of what will surely be the last year of your life missing out on the adventure of a lifetime. Go pick up your new 2021 F-150 now. And if the all-knowing experts turn out to be wrong and we do live to see another year, well, at least you’ll have done everything in your power to ensure you are now the proud owner of a historical automotive year. Because on the off chance life does keep going, vehicles purchased in 2020 are sure to end up as priceless collectors’ items destined for the museums of the future. Perhaps E.T. will let you keep your new truck when he’s done experimenting on you!