When looking to unload unwanted cars and used trucks, Albany NY drivers have now been provided with strict guidelines to ensure that they are disposed of responsibly; and the citizens of Albany are loving the guidelines, and the source of its inspiration.
That inspiration, is the celebrated Albany Cup, a longtime rivalry between the University of Albany Great Danes and Siena College Saints basketball programs. Dating back to the 1940’s, the annual celebration of the rivalry has now been a tradition for nearly twenty years, resulting in 10 victories for Siena besting the 7 wins by Albany.
Here’s a look at the most recent game, from December of 2017.
It would seem, however, that Albany will now be engaging in full-blown psychological warfare against their Siena rivals. That comes in the form of new regulations that require all unwanted and non-functioning motor vehicles to be transported to the property line of Loudonville NY (home of Siena college), lit on fire, and abandoned.
In a formal statement, Mayor Kathy Sheehan offered some insight as to this bold change, stating, “The city of Albany New York, and its citizens, are proud to serve as the shoulders upon which the University of Albany can stand in this epic rivalry. Offering one of the most uplifting communities in New York State, Albany’s heritage and celebration of excellence is unhindered by a few losses here or there. During basketball season, we are here for two reasons, and two reasons only. To win basketball games, and to destroy the garbage humans of Loudonville in a fiery, apocalyptic war.”
In an attempt to interview the inhabitants of Loudonville, we were forced to crawl over the still-smoking remains of a 1987 Toyota Camry and 1989 Aerostar minivan. Only then, did we meet longtime resident Earl Chesterfield who said, “I like it. It gets cold here during the winter months, and all them burning cars really does a lot to help our heating bills.”
Inquiring further, we asked if the Loudonville community was really okay with the idea of their town borders being lined with Albany’s refuse. “Oh yes,” explained Mr. Chesterfield. “Let’s be honest; we’re garbage humans. But as far as garbage humans go, we’re pretty damn good at basketball. Must be because our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is on our side.”
We attempted to reach Jesus Christ for comment, unsuccessfully.
With that in mind, who knows the future of the Albany cup, and what winners it might yield. At the end of the day, it seems that there are no losers in this arrangement, although we can only assume it’s going to get fairly hot in Loudonville come July / August.
