“Real Women Have Curves.” We’ve all heard it before, haven’t we?
While it may have been intended as a means of empowering the more full-figured woman, it has evolved to occupy other cultural mindsets as well. Alongside such expressions as “Big is Beautiful,” the phrase has, in some cases, been used to normalize weight gain (and in extreme cases, obesity). But it has also been used offensively, as a means of attacking women with a slim, or athletic build within the cultural shift of our societal view of ‘beauty.’
As a woman, I love me some bitches of all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages. It all goes back to my days at the Marietta Finishing School for Wayward Girls (but I digress, as that’s another, somewhat incriminating story). That said, we should all agree that women are beautiful. Women are strong. Women are unstoppable. But as women, one thing we should also agree on is this:
NO-ONE WANTS A PUSSIFIED TRUCK
I don’t care if you’re talking about Ford or Chevy trucks, or some other brand that I don’t know a dang thing about. No man should want to be behind the wheel of a vehicle that emasculates them, worrying about whether or not this body or bed configurations “makes it look fat.” Bottom line: real trucks have curves.
Now, I get it…hipster environmentalists will tell you that weight reduction in vehicles helps to improve fuel economy and reduce vehicle emissions; and I’ve even heard that such reduction in weight will help to make a truck’s power ratings even more impressive. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but if I wanted to drive around in the automotive equivalent of a well-educated vagina, I’d drive a Ford Flex, for Christ’s sake.
My daddy drove a Chevy truck, as did my Grandaddy before him. My husband drives a Chevy truck, and so does my son. It’s just a damn shame that, in the coming years, either of the latter are going to be driving around in some primped-out chick of a truck that’s probably too preoccupied with numbers on a damn scale.
Truth be told, I’m no mechanic. But as a Health and Lifestyles correspondent, I’ve seen more than my fair share of people gaining and dropping weight. Sometimes you need to do that, but it’s always a little bit disappointing when you see a perfectly man who’s worried about a few pounds. What’s next: manscaping? My son and husband probably don’t even know there’s a scale in our bathroom? They just aim for the toilet, do their best job (sometimes drenching a nook or cranny) and go on about their day.
Men are supposed to be big, strong, smelly and hairy; and I like to think of trucks as the ‘men’ of the automotive world. Call me old-fashioned, but this new preoccupation with weight-reduction seems like a bitch move. And not in a good way, honey.
