Buick Releasing Vehicle That Runs on YOUR Gas

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A sweaty laughing man is driving past a Taco bell.

Forget standard gas, diesel, and electric vehicles. Buick engineers are looking to revolutionize the automotive industry… with a little help from Taco Bell. The brand recently announced plans for their 2020 Buick Flatus which will be hitting Buick dealers this fall. The SUV is inspired by Buick’s beloved “Envision” nameplate, but with one major difference: the vehicle will run on the driver’s farts.

Engineers have spent the past decade perfecting the technology, assuring that the vehicle will work properly. In the simplest terms, the 2020 Buick Flatus will be equipped with a specialized chair that will absorb the driver’s farts. This gas will then be converted into octane, at which time the vehicle will continue to work as usual.

Predictably, this will reduce (and eventually eliminate) the need for traditional gas and gas stations. Considering the vicarious savings that this will be provided to owners, the vehicle is expected to cost around $300,000.

“We believe the Flatus will provide drivers with infinite savings, thus explaining the price tag,” explained Buick CEO Dan Akerson. “Of course, we’ve also teamed up with several companies to help optimize the entire driving experience, which should all lead to even more advantages to the customer.”

Which partnerships is Akerson talking about? For starters, the brand recently teamed up with Taco Bell as part of their “Gas-First Initiative.” When customers show proof that they own the nameplate, they’ll receive 50% off all their Taco Bell purchases. The brand is hoping that this will encourage owners to constantly fill their stomachs with fart-inducing foods, thus assuring that they never run into any issues with a lack of “fuel.”

“Taco Bell and gas: name a better duo,” Akerson said. “If customers really want to get the most out of the 2020 Buick Flatus, they’re going to need to be ripping farts at least once every 10 minutes. We’re confident that our partnership with Taco Bell will make that a reality.”

There are several amenities that aren’t included in the standard version of the 2020 Buick Flatus. For starters, the 2Gassy feature allows you to rely on your co-pilot’s farts for fuels. That way, if you haven’t filled your stomach, you can rely on someone else to keep your car running. The brand is also testing out a “Burp Converter,” which will absorb that oral gas and convert it into a usable form.

Some individuals have already put their name on a waiting list in anticipation of the 2020 Buick’s Flatus’ release.

“I’m sick of spending money on gas,” said Dylan McDummet, a 300-pound individual. “My budget was strapped because of gas money and my addiction to Taco Bell. Now, I can save on gas money… and my Taco Bell addiction will actually come in handy.”

Some aren’t as thrilled about the nameplate. “Mothers Against Farts,” a nonprofit organization, believes the 2020 Buick Flatus sets a poor precedent for future drivers.

“Kids are already obsessed with potty humor, and that’s the behavior that our organization is looking to curtail,” said Patty Gomez, the president of MAF. “The 2020 Buick Flatus will only exasperate our issues!”

Despite opposition from some groups, the 2020 Buick Flatus is still expected to hit dealership lots by the end of this year.

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