Detroit, MI – The long and arduous struggle between law enforcement and organized crime can be traced back to nearly a century ago, with the onset of prohibition and bootleggers attempting to deliver alcohol to a nation that might have been dry but was also very thirsty. The gangland conflict has been glamorized for several decades in films and books that depict the struggle of a bygone era. While usually not as violent, the never-ending contest between the various domestic automobile manufacturers has a long lineage of competition and rivalries that trace back well over 100 years. While these two topics seldom have anything to do with one another, a recent development with the upcoming model year has serious implications for one of the most revered American institutions, Chevrolet.
It all began several months ago when industry insider and freelance journalist Mark Scaglione was all set to compare and contrast the differences between the Chevy 2023 Silverado 1500 and 2023 Ram 1500. However, he was intrigued when a memo was sent to him from the Stallanis Motor Company informing him that the 2023 Ram 1500 had miraculously gone missing without a trace. Puzzled, Scaglione did some deep diving. “I couldn’t rest on this,” the wily reporter stated, “many consumers rely on the information I provide to assist them in choosing the vehicles they purchase. What was I supposed to do? Write a piece entitled ‘2023 Chevy Silverado 1500 vs 2022 Ram 1500: Sorry, the 2023 Ram 1500 has vanished?’” Scaglione’s investigation led him down a rabbit hole of information that has the potential to permanently unseat Chevrolet due to its alleged ties with organized crime.
According to Scaglione, there was a conference in a clandestine meeting place between some of the heads of GM and suspected mobster Vinnie “the hump” Garboloni. While GM is a brand that’s been established for decades and is known to everyone, the Garboloni crime family has managed to sneak under the radar and avoid detection continually. However, it’s been rumored that their interruption with the automotive industry’s progress goes back several generations. While it’s never been proven, it’s believed that Garboloni had a hand in orchestrating the energy crisis from several years ago, and his father was rumored to have given Ford the idea to build the Edsel. Some theorize the crime family also had a hand in sabotaging the Pinto as well.
Scaglione’s investigation has yielded some troubling information about the disappearance of the Ram 1500. The trucking companies that were supposed to transport the new trucks to the various dealerships have all come up missing and left virtually no trace. Scaglione believes that GM and Garboloni paid off the drivers to take a different route, and this might have very well led to the entire fleet being “parked” at various junk yards across the country and having the unfortunate “accident” of being loaded onto barges and sent somewhere to be melted down into jewelry and other various items.
Scaglione’s investigative efforts have certainly made an impact on the US Justice Department. Brad Hadcrop, an assistant attorney general, has already begun his own investigation into GM’s less-than-reputable practices regarding the upcoming model year. “If there’s a link between the Garboloni crime family and GM, we will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law. This will be quite an arduous task, as filing RICO charges against GM, itself a large organization, will require quite a bit of manpower and money…but if they had something to do with the disappearance of the 2023 Ram 1500, we intend on holding them accountable.”