The Internet is arguably the single-greatest tool for research in all of recorded human history. Nothing else has ever created such a vast network of knowledge, nor made that information easily accessible to a huge swath of people across the world. But in this era of mass information, it can be difficult to parse all of this data and actually come up with something useful, which makes effective research a bit of a special skill.
Why am I telling you all of this? For two reasons. First, because I’m quite spectacular at performing research and finding useful information, and I just wanted to brag about it. Second, because if you’ve found this page, then you’re in luck because I’m about to provide you with some knowledge that you can actually take advantage of. To be precise about it, I’m going to take you through some of the worst used Chevrolet trucks you can find when looking for your next vehicle.
A 1987 Chevy C/K
In general, the 1987 Chevy C/K pickup was a classic and a solid precursor to the modern Silverado lineup. That being said, the model my uncle Gary owned was absolute garbage. See, he’d once driven it into a lake––well, he said it was a lake, but the damage didn’t seem that extensive to me, even with my young eyes. I think it’s more likely that he got drunk and drove it into his neighbor’s swimming pool because he had done that with two out of his three previous trucks; my uncle Gary was nothing, if not consistent. Either way, lots of water damage, so you definitely want to pass on this one.
A 2013 Chevy Silverado 1500
One time, I was walking home from a bar––it was only around three in the afternoon, but it had already been a long night. Suddenly, some jerk in what appeared to be a 2013 Chevy Silverado pulled up and started whistling and hollering at me. Such cat-calling is not something I’m used to, so I responded the way any respectable man would: I got in, and we had a lovely evening involving shrimp cocktail and watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece “The Mummy” starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. But he never called me after! So yeah, skip this one because its previous owner’s jerkiness might rub off on you.
A 2005 GMC Sierra 1500
This was a truck that I owned, and, to be honest, it ran like a dream with excellent performance and plenty of towing power for what I needed. At the time, however, I smoked two packs a day, and I absolutely refused to roll the windows down. I was also interested in experiencing the world the way my elders had, so I got drunk and drove this truck into my neighbor’s pool; I’ll tell you, my uncle Gary was onto something. Also, I once left an entire trout inside the truck, parked in 110-degree heat for seventeen days. Don’t ask me how I managed to sell this thing to a dealership afterward; let’s just say there was a lot of Febreze air freshener involved. If you come across this truck while shopping, I strongly suggest you give it a pass.
A 199? Chevy 1500
Honestly, I only half-remember this truck because I was tripping massive balls basically every day for several months straight. During that time, I seem to recall my best friend Undamiel (I think that was his name, but I also remember him as a large, anthropomorphic hamster, so don’t take this as gospel), who drove this truck. We did some serious damage to that thing, and there’s only so much that cleaning products can do when attempting to remove so many layers of bodily fluids. This is probably the best of these four trucks, but I’d still skip it when shopping.
I’ve looked around a bit, and far as I can tell, this is the most useful and relatable guide out there when shopping for your next used truck. You’re welcome, friends.
Editor’s Note: One of our editors actually bought a truck in 2005 off a guy who called himself “Undamiel” and now many things suddenly make a lot more sense. With that in mind, we can pretty well verify the accuracy of all that’s presented here, and this is clearly what every other car-buying guide on the Internet should be aiming for. Thank you.