*Contains Spoilers for those of you who haven’t caught up on all things pop-culture*
Los Angeles, CA –If you are one of those people who drink Natty Ice and is what others would describe as a “mall crawler” simply because you are to scared to bring your jeep into the actual wilderness, we at The Lemon have some inside details that might help you come to your senses. It might just be time for you to chose between the 2019 Chevy Trax vs the 2019 Jeep Renegade if you know what’s good for you.
Customers are angry at Jeep’s Uconnect 4C system, and not because the technology guided them to the wrong destination (again). Rather, the system’s AI is providing drivers with some undesirable information.
The Lemon recently spoke to multiple 2019 Jeep Renegade owners who said their Uconnect 4C system is beginning to spoil the endings of popular movies and television shows.
Normally, the system is intended to provide drivers with a navigation system, radio, and smartphone combability, and the technology’s response usually comes via written acknowledgments (as opposed to audible acknowledgments). However, the system has seemingly gone wonky, disappointing a number of Renegade owners.
“The other day, I simply asked the Uconnect system to call my wife,” said Joe Miley. “The system then proceeded to tell me how Jon Snow dies at the end of Game of Thrones season six, and then it told me how he comes back the next season and sleeps with Daenerys! I haven’t even finished the third season!”
Another customer, Rohit Ahuja, said the system told him how Avengers: Endgame ends.
“At first, it was spitting out facts that were obvious,” Ahuja said. “I was annoyed, but I was also amused that the Uconnect thought it was all high and mighty by disclosing that all of the “dead” characters were going to return. Like, no shit. However, Uconnect really crossed the line when it began explaining how Ironman was going to die at the end, AND it was revealed the how Captian America was “worthy” enough to pick up Thor’s Hammer. I almost drove off the road.”
How did this happen? No one at Jeep seems to know, but some local automotive experts have an idea. Riley Mooningham told The Lemon that the Jeep’s 4G Wi-Fi Hotspot is a prime opportunity for hackers. These hackers rarely mess with vehicles considering the lack of usable information contained within their technological infrastructure and the useless drivers. However, there are “troll” hackers who are merely amused by making other peoples’ lives as horrible as can be.
“This is clearly an example of trolls going too far,” Mooningham said. “It needs to be dealt with.”
Ahuja agrees.
“I was debating between the Chevy Trax and Jeep Renegade, and I went with the Jeep because I’m a hipster but I like to feel like I can drive off-road, not ACTUALLY drive off-road,” he explained. “But if I knew the SUV was going to spoil the end of every episode of Grey’s Anatomy, a series that I’ve devotedly followed for the over a decade, then I would have just rather walked.”
Other Renegade owners are simply annoyed by the vehicle’s inability to provide him with new spoilers. Malcolm Ringwald told The Lemon that he was hoping the Uconnect system would provide him with information that he couldn’t find on Reddit or 4chan.
“I know all, yes,” Ringwald said. “I know how Avengers ends, indeed. I even know how Game of Thrones will end, that’s right. I even know how Lost ends and that was over years ago! I wanted new information, you see?”
In an attempt to impress Ringwald, the driver said the system started spewing some commonly-known spoilers.
“It started telling me how Darth Vader was Luke’s father, yes,” he said. “It started telling me how Snape killed Dumbledore, mmhmm. This was child’s play, you see?”
For the time being, Jeep suggests shutting off the Renegade’s Wi-Fi. Otherwise, the company told drivers to deal with it.
“Don’t get so pissed about spoilers, nerds,” the company said to The Lemon in an exclusive statement.
