New Game Simulates Feeling of Regret Following Car Purchase

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A woman is playing a game on her phone which was inspired by Ford lease deals.

San Francisco, CA – Partly inspired by new Ford lease deals, a hit new phone game is taking California by storm.

Miserable Incorporated, the company behind hits like “Debt: The Game” and “Divorce: The Game,” has just released their most anticipated mobile game yet.

“Car Buying: The Game” is intended to simulate the entire car-buying experience. After the company’s other hits, game developers were looking for a life experience that provided an unnecessary headache.

“People love feeling like shit, especially when their real life is going well,” said Miserable Inc. president Moritz Meinelt. “People just love to complain about stuff. We provided them with miserable life-changing experiences via “Debt: The Game” and “Divorce: The Game,” but we were looking for a new experience that would simulate a traumatizing one-day experience. The car-buying experience seemed like a natural fit.”

The game includes literally every step of the car-buying process. Players are first required to enter a budget, and assuming you ignore in-app purchases, you’ll then begin searching for an unaffordable vehicle that blows past your budget.

After securing financing from your in-game uncle’s favorite bank, you’ll then visit a local dealership. There, you’ll immediately have to fight out a grouping of salesmen, with the surviving employee serving as your personal guide.

The player will then list a number of enticing attributes that they’re seeking, whether it be a type of vehicle, color, or some other request. The salesman will then ignore all of your specifications and show you vehicles that you won’t end up purchasing. Players are required to endure this part of the game for hours before finally landing on a worthwhile target.

At that point, you’ll negotiate with your salesperson/guide. Despite never-ending attempts to lower the asking price, you’ll end up opting for the sticker price. Included are financing headaches such as Buy Here Pay Here with interest rates so high, you will have to sell off your characters body parts to afford them. When you finally get a car and drive off the lot, all of your amenities will fall apart, and you will have to fight off a hoard of Repo-men who you will never defeat.

“I’ve never had so much misery playing a game,” said goth girl Sandra Hammond. “This sucks so bad; I love it.”

“I’ve been bumming a bit since my divorce,” said Ron Hinkley. “This game makes me put everything in perspective.”

Others are relying on the game to help bring them back to worse times.

“I recently opted for one of those Ford lease deals,” said Shelly McGovern. “I was shocked at how easy the entire process was. When I get home, I was telling my husband that I kind of missed all of the inconveniences that come along with a car purchase. That’s when my daughter introduced me to Car Buying: The Game, and I’ve been hooked ever since.”

There are a number of in-app purchases besides those that were previously mentioned. If players want, they can purchase a “talk to the manager” pass, allowing them to have an unsuccessful conversation with the ownership’s boss. There are even side games, including “Which Dealership is the One I’m Looking For: The Game.” The best part of the whole game: No Lemon Laws.

Car Buying: The Game is available on both the Apple and Android market. The company is hoping to release a console-version later this year.

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