Look Out Men: The Silverado Is For Basic B*tches Only

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A pink 2023 Chevy Silverado is shown on a pink background.

I’ve always felt that pickup trucks like the 2023 Chevy Silverado have been marketed too heavily towards the rough, tough, DIYer types. But you know what? I truly believe that when you put the right spin on it, you could really sell the Silverado as the girly girl’s truck. It’s not just construction workers and moving companies that need a powerful car with a large bed in the back. I mean, really, Chevrolet is missing out on a massive market by ignoring the many, many pumpkin-spice-latte-sipping, yoga-pant-wearing, talk-in-baby-voice-to-dog demographic, otherwise known as basic bitches. I’m a self-proclaimed basic bitch, and I use my Silverado in ways that might surprise some people (or just men).

Yes, I know, women couldn’t possibly drive trucks, we’re too short to even climb in the cab. But if you really think about some of the favorite activities of us white-claw-sippers, it quickly becomes fairly obvious that every pickup truck manufacturer should probably make a few metallic pink models pronto if they want to tap into this lucrative market. Just saying, think of how great a metallic pink truck with leopard print leatherette seats, a Swarovski crystal-wrapped steering wheel, and bejeweled door handles would look.

Anyways, here are ways I use my Silverado for my ultra-feminine lifestyle, and you can, too. Even the men!

Have A Clothing Exchange

I have lined the walls of my truck bed with super cute sparkly shelves and added some rolling racks in there, and had a clothing exchange party with my girlfriends, complete with champagne and the soundtrack to Legally Blonde pumping through the truck’s awesome speakers. It’s got plenty of configurable room for putting handbags and shoes in one section and clothes in another. Me and the girls all just sat around in the back, trying on heels and sipping bubbly. It’s what a pickup truck was made for – duh.

Have A Self-Care Night

There are so many ways to do a self-care night in the back of the Silverado. First, you can just put a tub back there and sit under the stars reading one of the Twilight novels or a self-care book. I lined my bed with shelves and keep essential oils, scented candles, body scrubs, and face masks on them. It’s a great way to have a DIY spa when your partner or roommate won’t let you turn the bathroom into your personal oasis because your bath bombs left too many sparkles in the tub that one time.

Crying In Public

Who doesn’t love a good cry in public? Like any woman with a job, I like to cry in my car sometimes. But, I particularly like to sit in the bed of the truck and cry just to make people uncomfortable who walk by. There’s just nothing like watching the confused and terrified looks of passersby while I cry/heave into a bottle of Merlot. I always keep extra Merlot in the center console if anyone wants to join.

Have A Puppy Party

This is one of my favorite things to do in the back of the truck: a puppy party! All of my friends bring over their dogs, and we pile into the bed of the truck and just talk in super high-pitched baby voices while we snuggle dogs. The neighbors love it. I think. It’s hard to hear if they’re complaining over the manic goo-goo-ga-ga noises my friends and I make over the dogs.

Take It Shopping

There is nothing more important than channeling your inner Kate Middleton or Kim Kardashian. So what good is the towing ability of a pickup if not to grab a small U-Haul and bring it to the mall to fill up with fashion finds? My boyfriend says I need to be more “practical” about my shopping habits, and so now I just rent a U-Haul for the day to bring even more shoes home with me. What’s more practical than more space?

Find Every Target

Oh, right, and the built-in Google in the Silverado makes it easy to look up the nearest coffee shops, restaurants, stores, and…Targets! I can look up every single Target in my area on the map and hit them all with the U-Haul. And shoot, I almost forgot to mention Starbies! Pro-tip, fill your purse with those small bottles of Barefoot Rose and dump them in your Pink Drink. Totes the best!

Shop Away Ladies

Whoever said pickup trucks weren’t for us basic bitches clearly didn’t think outside of the sparkly pink box. I can think of countless ways to have an epic girl’s day in a pickup truck. I’ll probably bring mine to the next local truck rally and show off the unique ways I use my Silverado. I’m sure they’ll just love me there.

The only question is whether I wear a kitten heel or a stiletto to those events… Let me know in the comments what you think! #fashion

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